


Satisfying Desires

by 23ster



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-09-20 08:42:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17019432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/23ster/pseuds/23ster
Summary: Everything was going fine, sort-of, for Harry until Draco had an offer he somehow couldn't refuse





	1. The Offer

**Author's Note:**

> There will be some CedricxHarry scenes that some of you may not like but for the sake of the story, this ship is important. Not to fear though, the story will end with DracoxHarry. There are also explicit/sexual scenes within this story so you have been warned.

Harry laid naked in the large bed, staring silently at the patterned ceiling he'd grown to know so well. He shut his tired eyes that were aching for sleep, inhaled deeply and sighed before opening his eyes again. Harry had been laying there for who knows how long now, lost within his own thoughts, trying to force his body to get up and to leave the room. Yet he was unable to remove himself from the bed that had practically replaced his own. Especially when the person who owned the bed was curled up on his chest, their hot breath tickling his ear and their sweet scent invading his nose. Harry closed his eyes again, trying to enjoy this moment as much as he could. As much as he didn't want to leave, he knew he had to go soon and leave their touch until the next time. Whenever that would be.

Harry opened his eyes again and turned his head, being careful to not wake the person sleeping peacefully on his chest, and glanced at the dark carved wooden clock that sat perched upon the silver bed stand. The hands showed it was just a few minutes after five am, if he wanted to make it back without being seen and somehow get some sleep, he'd have to leave shortly. Instead of worrying about where his cloak was and dodging the teachers, Harry looked back at the ceiling, another sigh escaping from his lips. He didn't want to leave. Not yet. He'd stay a little longer. Just a little longer.

Instead of staring at the boring ceiling, Harry decided to use his last precious moments wisely and turned his attention to face the person he'd been having an affair with for over a month now. His green eyes raked over the small, but still muscular, pale body that was half covered with dark grey sheets. Tilting his head slightly to get a better view, Harry could see the small curves and dips he'd been gripping tightly onto just hours ago. Harry's fingers twitched in temptation, feeling in an ache to touch them once more and he felt another ache in the lower region of his body.

Harry glanced at the time again, maybe he could.. No, he wouldn't let himself get sucked in more than he needed to be. He was all for taking a risk but right now he needed to think with his head, not his dick. Merlin knows how many close calls he'd faced this past month because of his hormones. Harry swallowed thickly, forcing his eyes to look upward towards the face he'd grown to admire, trying to ignore the boner forming under the sheets.

He admired the prominent jawline that was sharp enough to kill, blonde hair that looked silky to the touch as it fell carefully over the eyelids that hid the grey piercing eyes that Harry could never decipher. Harry felt his breath hitch, his heart speeding up as he continued to stare and admire none other than his rival, Draco Malfoy.

That's right, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy had slept together, but this wasn't the first time and he had a feeling it wouldn't be the last. How many times it had been now? Harry had already lost count, not that he really bothered to keep track in the first place. The point was this had happened so many times that Draco was vastly becoming apart of his daily life now. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gone without seeing the blonde for longer than a day nor could he remember how things had turned in this direction, or what had caused this sudden spark of interest between the two of them.

Well, that was a lie actually. Harry did remember when things had gotten intimate between the two, it seemed so long ago at this point. A soft smile formed over Harry's lips as his mind drifted off to the vibrant memory.

_It was nearing the end of September, Harry had been walking down a deserted corridor that would lead him to Gryffindor Tower. He had just finished serving a late night detention from Snape that consisted of scrubbing cauldrons without magic. It had taken him a grueling three hours of scrubbing that nearly made his hands bleed, it was only then Snape decided his hard work was 'satisfactory' and dismissed him without a second glance, leaving Harry to fume. He was still fuming since he didn't deserve the detention in the first place._

_Well, that was a lie too, but Harry wouldn't admit that._

_The reason he'd received detention was because Snape_ _thought he hadn't been paying attention in potions class when he randomly called on Harry to answer a question. In Harry's defense though, the question had been difficult to answer but Snape was unfortunately right about him not paying attention. Harry hadn't been paying attention at all throughout the class. All his attention had been focused on his classmate Andrew Kirke._

_He was a fellow Gryffindor who had tried out for the beater_ _position a few weeks earlier and had somehow caught Harry's attention. Andrew had jet black hair, light chocolatey brown eyes, and a flashy smile, along with broad shoulders and a body fit for Quidditch. Harry had seen him around before but seeing him now, after summer, he felt a strange sense of attraction towards him. He'd never really had a crush on anyone other than Cho and certainly never had a crush on a boy for that matter but Harry found himself staring in his direction, admiring him and unable to look away. He'd been trying for a few days to understand what he was feeling towards him which lead to Harry to start questioning his sexuality. Unfortunately, Snape had seen his actions as daydreaming and punished him with a detention later on that week._

_Harry was walking back to Gryffindor tower, his feet practically dragging across the floor from exhaustion. His head was bobbing from being so tired and he was frequently pushing his glasses to keep them from falling off his face. Harry flinched when he felt something sticky get stuck to his nose. He looked at his hands, they were raw and full of grime made of who-knows-what. Groaning in disgust and annoyance, Harry decided to stop by the boys' loo to wash his hands. He would've stopped in the girls since no one would ever know but Myrtle would likely cause a ruckus and Harry decided the extra detour would be worth it if he could avoid her. Besides, it didn't matter if he got a little side-tracked, Snape was kind enough to grant him a note if he were to be stopped by anyone since he had finished cleaning past curfew. So Harry changed his route and went off to find the boy's loo._

_After what felt like an eternity, Harry finally came across it and sighed in relief. Even though he could use his note to get safely to his dorm, Harry still looked behind him to ensure that there were no teachers wandering around the halls. He was met with nothing but an eerie silence and an empty corridor. Without another pause, Harry slid in as quietly as possible wanting to be on his way quickly. Note or not, he didn't want to get scolded._

_Harry left the door open as his trip would be quick. His footsteps echoed loudly as he strode across the floor to first sink he came the faucet on, Harry stuck his hands under the cool rushing water. He hissed when the coldness touched his throbbing hands, and he flexed them to get the blood flowing. After a minute, they seemed to come back to life and they didn't look so red and angry._

_Harry closed his eyes, letting the water wash off the grime and ache. He stayed standing there for another minute or two before turning the faucet off to dry his hands. Harry reached for the towel but was interrupted though when the lavatory door closed with a loud click, startling him._

_Jerking his head towards the noise, Harry had expected a teacher to be there but instead, it was Draco of all people. The blonde was leaning against the now closed door, a gleam in his eye that made all the alarms in Harry's head go off. Dropping the hand towel he'd been using and Harry's hand immediately reached for his wand but his stomach sank when remembered he didn't have it. It was up in his room on his bed stand, where he left it hours earlier before going to detention. Snape had told him to leave it as he wouldn't need it._

_Thinking quickly, Harry shifted his body so his back pocket was hidden from view and he kept his hand placed over his pocket to give Draco the false impression he had his wand. If Draco saw that he was wandless, Harry would be screwed. His best option would be to keep the distance between them until the blonde left or Harry could manage to sneak around him. If Draco's bullying over the years taught him anything, it was that he wasn't so great at shooting curses and hexes from long distances._

_"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry said harshly, trying to keep himself calm. If only he'd gone to the girl's loo instead. Myrtle's shrieks would definitely bring the attention he needed right now._

_Draco had his arms crossed over his chest, a cold but calm look spread across his face. He was dressed in his usual casual clothing, black sweater with black pants to match. His hair wasn't smoothed back with gel and instead looked almost normal, ruffled even. His eyes flickered towards the sinks before going back to Harry. He made no movement for his wand that was sticking out of his front pocket, which both confused and surprised Harry. He'd had been expecting a fight or hex from his rival, not tense silence, which was making his stomach turn._

_"Evening to you too, Potter." Draco's voice drawled out in a boring tone. His eyes flicked to Harry's hand. "I see you had a nice detention with Snape."_

_"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry asked again, ignoring him. He was hoping Draco would get his harassment over with so he could be on his way. "How'd you know I'd be here?"_

_"I happened to be passing by." Draco shrugged nonchalantly._

_"I don't believe you_. _" Harry said immediately. It was true. Draco was a manipulative liar and they both knew it. Harry studied his face for a moment but as usual, Draco gave nothing away. His unusual calm state was making Harry uneasy. It was just the two of them, alone, and Harry was wandless. It was like Draco was trying to have a normal conversation with him, probably trying to get him with the element of surprise._

_"I don't care," Draco responded coolly. "I'm just here to ask something."_

_"Well, don't waste your breath." Harry snapped, his anger starting to brew, "What makes you think I'd answer you?"_

_He looked down at Draco's wand again. Why wasn't the blonde using it on him? This was a golden opportunity but yet his wand remained untouched. Unfortunately, Draco seemed to catch his eye and Harry realized he spoke too_ _soon when he finally reached for it. Harry screwed his eyes shut, and prepared himself for whatever hex or jinx that might come his way. After all, he figured, he wouldn't be starting the year off right if he didn't land up in the hospital wing within the first month of school._

_Instead of a burning sting or hot burn, Harry was startled when he felt a cold hand touch his own. Opening his eyes in surprise, Draco was standing in front of him, holding his hurting hand. He pointed the tip of his wand to the middle of Harry's palm and waved in the most delicate way._

_"Episkey." Immediately, the redness and ache disappeared from Harry's hand, a kind of cool relief spreading through it. Harry didn't know how to explain it any other way. It was like taking a step inside an air-conditioned home after spending time outside on a hot day. He looked up at Draco, confused but Draco didn't meet his eye. He continued to look down, avoiding Harry's gaze._

_"Why'd you-" Harry started._

_"Give me the other one." Draco interrupted, letting go of the hand he'd been holding, beckoning for the other. When Harry hesitated, Draco rolled his eyes, "I know you don't have your wand Potter, I saw your empty hand in the mirror when I walked in and we all know Snape forbids using magic during his detention."_

_Gritting his teeth at being caught, Harry reluctantly gave his other hand to him._

_Draco held his wand once more and repeated the spell again. Harry felt the cooling sensation spread through again and he flexed his hands, making a mental note to remember to use that spell next time he landed a detention. It also brought up several new questions. Why was Draco, his sworn rival and bully, helping him?_

_Draco shifted away from Harry and tucked his wand away in his pocket before speaking._

_"Better?" Draco asked, looking up at him at last. His expression was soft, non-threatening and it was now obvious he wasn't looking for a fight. Still, Harry was puzzled by his unusual civilness._

_"Loads," Harry replied, flexing his hands once more. He looked at him questioningly, not really sure if he should thank him or not, but instead repeated his earlier question, "Why'd you do that?"_

_Draco shrugged and mumbled something under his breath that Harry didn't quite catch._

_"What?"_

_"Nothing nothing," Draco said with a wave of his hand, "Unimportant."_

_"What do you want then?" Harry asked, annoyed with Draco's weird attitude. He shook his head, "Actually, nevermind. I don't care. Now move so-"_

_"Are you gay, Potter?" Draco asked quietly. The question hung thick in the air and Harry had to keep his jaw from falling open in shock._

_"What?" Harry blurted out stupidly._

_"I asked if you were gay. It's when someone likes someone else that's the same sex-"_

_"I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS." Harry snapped, feeling his face started to redden. Draco looked unaffected by his small outburst but he swore he saw a flash of amusement appear in his face before it disappeared just as quickly. "What the hell makes you think I'm gay?!"_

_"In potions," Draco said calmly, making Harry twitch, "You were staring at that loud-mouthed Andrew Kirke all period, it was kind of obvious if you ask me. So I wanted to ask you personally if Harry Potter was interested in doing naughty things with other boys."_

_"He's not-" Harry started, getting defensive over his crush but he quickly caught himself, "Not that it's any of your business but no, I'm not gay. I'm as straight as you, Malfoy. And I wasn't staring at Andrew because I don't fancy him."_

_Draco's lips curved into a smirk, but not the usual foul one he always wore. It made Harry uncomfortable to see such a playful teasing expression look so normal on the blonde. He felt a twinge of familiarity in his stomach at the look and an urge he didn't dare identify. Harry cautiously stepped back but didn't break eye contact. Even though he didn't like the way Draco was staring at him, he'd rather be damned than let Draco win in an eye-staring contest._

_"What are you smiling for?!" Harry asked, trying to ignore the hammering in his heart, "I answered your question, so why don't you bugger off and stalk some other bloke?!"_

_"Potter," Draco said, "I didn't ask if you fancied him."_

_"What?"_

_"I didn't ask if you fancied Kirke." Draco repeated, "I asked if you were gay, but I think I have my answer now."_

_Harry felt the blood drain from his face, realizing his mistake. His mouth opened but no words came out. After all, what could he say? He'd just given himself away, a secret that made him question his sexuality. He hadn't even decided if he was gay or even bisexual. He hadn't even told his best friends yet and now the one that would be in on his secret would be his rival, who would surely use it against him. The only sound in the lavatory came from the leaking faucet and the pounding in Harry's chest he was sure was loud enough for all of Hogwarts to hear._

_Trying to gather himself together, Harry shut the faucet off, no longer interested in whatever game Draco was playing. He felt_ worry _nag at him though and he gripped the sink tightly, sighing deeply. He wouldn't be able to leave until he knew if he'd be needing to prepare himself or not._

_"..Are you going to tell anyone?" Harry asked, looking at the blonde. He knew it was a childish, even pathetic, thing to ask. Draco wouldn't pity him, he hated him. He never had before shown remorse for him, aside from just now, so why would this time be any different?_

_Draco walked up to the sink next to him, leaning against it and he crossed his arms over his chest again. He glanced at Harry, his expression unreadable before he looked at the empty stall in front of him._

_"No, because.." Draco paused, "..because I wouldn't want to be outed either."_

_Harry's jaw finally fell open in shock but he quickly closed it. Who was this person he was talking to? It was hard to believe that Draco was kind enough to offer a helping hand but to hear this, from him of all people_.. _Well, for the umpteenth time that evening Harry was surprised. Draco was still looking at the bathroom stall when Harry spoke up again._

_"Malfoy.. are you-"_

_"I have an offer for you Potter," Draco said cutting him off, turning to look at him. "Follow your curiosity with me, through sex. No relationship, no ties, no loyalty, just sex whenever and wherever." Draco said this all somehow while keeping a straight face, meanwhile, Harry felt as if a bomb exploded in his mind._

_"Through se_ _-what? WHAT!?" Harry stammered out, blushing at his blunt use of language. "We-I can't-I've never-"_

_"It's a simple yes or no," Draco said. He shifted closer to Harry, his eyes burning into him. "Do you want to have sex with me? Yes or no?"_

_"I-I don't-" Harry stammered again, face flaring up even more at the closeness. He didn't know what to say, the last thing on his mind would be shagging Draco fucking Malfoy. "This isn't right-You're you and I'm me, I mean-not_ _that you're not-I've never even had-"_

_Draco suddenly grabbed Harry by his tie and yanked him forward, pressing their foreheads against one another. Their lips brushed ever so slightly against each other and stayed, never straying away but never getting closer. Harry's words clung to his throat as he stared at those piercing grey eyes. He'd never been this close to Draco before, or anyone really. Harry's whole body felt like jelly and it felt like his heart would jump out of his chest._

_"Potter," Draco said quietly, eyes flicking down to Harry's mouth, "Yes or no?"_

_Harry bit his tongue, trying to think of an answer but his body did it for him. He nodded, sealing the deal._

_Draco's arms were wrapped around his neck in an instant and he pressed their mouths together. Draco's lips were soft and warm, moving smoothly over his. Draco pulled Harry so he was wedged between his legs, his lanky fingers finding their way into Harry's hair. Harry was startled at first but the feeling of Draco's lips against his made his body feel an emotion he knew he felt before but he couldn't remember where. The feeling engulfed him and before he knew what he was doing, Harry's eyes had slipped close and his hands slipped around Draco's waist, gripping him tightly. He pulled Draco against him as tightly as he could and held him. Even though Draco was taller than him by an inch or so, it was a comfortable position._

_Draco's hot tongue traced over his lower lip, snatching it between his teeth making Harry whine all while his fingers tugged gently but firmly at Harry's messy locks. He clenched harder onto Draco's waist and shuddered when Draco's cold hands touched his neck. They kept kissing for another minute or so until the ache in Harry's pants and the feeling growing in his stomach was too much. They needed to stop._

_Reluctantly, Harry broke the kiss. The both of them were breathing hard. They looked at each other for a moment, the soft look on the blonde's face made the urge in Harry's stomach grow. He badly wanted to go for another deep kiss but thought better of it. Draco seemed to think the same and he gently pushed the two of them apart, his hands resting on Harry's shoulders._

_Harry moved away and shakily leaned back against the sink he had just been leaning over. His face felt hot, his heart was beating rapidly, and his legs were shaking. Harry had never kissed anyone before, he never even thought about what his first kiss would be like but yet, it had just happened. His mind was buzzing when he realized he wanted to kiss Draco again, and the thought of doing that terrified him. He glanced at Draco, who had his eyes screwed shut and had his fingers pressed against his lips. Was it his first kiss too? What was he thinking so hard about?_

_Harry looked away and bit the inside of his cheek, trying to think of something to say. He'd accepted Draco's offer, what would happen between them now?_

_"Uh-Malfoy?" Harry said shakily. What should he say? He licked his lips. "Um_.. _What now?"_

_"Basilisk," Draco said softly, opening his eyes. He looked at Harry. "Right now, it's basilisk_ _."_

_"What?" Harry asked confused, "Basilisk?"_

_"It's the password to Slytherin common room," Draco said smoothly, his cheeks tinged pink. "Go through the common room and take the staircase on the right, it's next to the fireplace, my room is the down the hall, last one on the left. Knock three times so I know it's you.." Draco paused, "Also the rules are as follows. There is no relationship between us. No intimate touches like kissing or hand holding, it's all just sexual. And especially; no catching feelings. You can stop this agreement when you've satisfied your desires." With one last look, Draco turned to leave._

_"Then why did you kiss-" Harry stopped. "..I don't remember ever agreeing to your offer Malfoy."_

_Draco turned back to look at him, that faint smirk on his face. Harry felt his heart skip at the sight of it._

_"You never declined it either Potter." His smirk grew, "Also, try not to get caught on your way back to your dorms? It'd be a shame if you landed another detention."_

_Harry tilted his head to the side slightly, brows furrowed, "What do you mean?"_

_Draco held up a piece of parchment which Harry recognized in an instant, his eyes widening. It was the pass Snape had given to Harry. His only solid excuse to be roaming around at this time of night. He turned his head and glanced down at his back pocket which was now vacant and noteless. When did Draco.. that_ _little snake_. _Harry turned back to shout at the blonde to give it back but he was met with an empty bathroom, Draco long gone_ _. Sighing in frustration, Harry ran his fingers through his tousled hair before leaving the bathroom himself, now with extra precaution and a flushed face. Just what had he gotten himself into?_

The memory faded away from Harry's mind as he came back to reality. It had been almost a month since then, it was the end of October now, and Harry was hoping for more months to come. He still didn't know why he had taken on Draco's offer, but he had. He'd lost his virginity that night and he thought he would regret it the next morning but he hadn't. He left the dungeons with a bright smile on his face and that weird feeling in his stomach again.

There was something about him that kept Harry coming back. The feeling he had every time he was with him was something he couldn't really identify, but it was the feeling he felt whenever he returned to Hogwarts. The feeling of returning to something you were familiar with, but he couldn't explain why he felt this way around Draco or how it had started up so suddenly. This lead to many nightly escapades spent together. They always took place in Draco's own room, which he apparently had since he first came to Hogwarts. Harry wasn't surprised though, he had expected his family wanted Draco to have the best of the best and since Slytherin naturally had such small groups, there was probably plenty of rooms for everyone. He wouldn't deny he was a little jealous though since although he liked sharing a room with his closest friends, they were a handful sometimes.

Thinking of his roommates, Harry turned away from Draco's sleeping form and looked at the time. He felt his heart sink when he saw he had to go but he knew he couldn't push time off forever. Looking at Draco, who was still curled up on his chest, Harry slowly pulled himself away from his grip and slid out of the bed as silently as he could. Even though Draco had been the one to make the 'relationship' rules, he always seemed to be the one to break them and always curled up against Harry when he slept. Harry never said anything about it since he enjoyed the cuddling, it was a little secret he intended on keeping.

Quietly, Harry gathered up his discarded clothes before slipping into the bathroom to get dressed. It was cold when he entered and Harry felt a shiver crawl up his spine which encouraged him to get dressed quickly. He didn't care how nice Draco's bathroom was, it was too damn cold in the mornings and the less time he spent in it, the better.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Harry grimaced when he saw his hair was somehow messier than usual and tried to fix his hair it since it just rang out the look "I-had-sex-last-night." Harry caught sight of a small tub of gel on the sink and he picked it up, examining it. He couldn't help but smile when he saw vibrant letters "Sleekeazy's Hair Potion and Scalp Treatment" on the top. If only Draco knew a little more about who had manufactured this, he'd probably have given up on using this brand of gel a long time ago.

Setting the tub back down in its spot, Harry looked back into the mirror and tried to fix his hair. As he did, he noticed a bite mark that was near his jawline and frowned. He decided to get rid of it later, too tired to pull his wand out. Besides, he didn't care if his friends asked him about it. They knew he was fooling around with someone and it wasn't like he had to lie about sex marks before.

Fixing his collar so he could at least hide the mark, Harry left the bathroom fully-clothed and grabbed his invisibility cloak. He looked over at Draco once again, who hadn't moved an inch and continued to sleep peacefully. Harry quietly walked over to him and pulled the cover sheets over Draco. Harry wanted to touch him again badly, to kiss him like he did that first night or to feel him in any other way besides sexual but he decided against it. It was better this way, even though Harry didn't believe it.

However, the longer he looked at Draco's peaceful sleeping face, it wasn't long before his temptation overpowered him. Harry leaned over slowly and pressed his lips against Draco's forehead gently, bidding him a silent farewell. Another secret he intended on keeping to himself.

Harry didn't look back when he left, he was afraid he wouldn't leave if he did. Pulling the invisibility cloak over himself, he opened the door carefully and peeked out to make sure no one was around. When the hall was empty, Harry took his chance and left Draco's rooms, closing the door as quietly as he could. He flinched when it clicked rather loudly and glanced at the empty hall again, sucking in his breath.

After waiting for a moment, and when he was sure no one had heard him, Harry let out the breath he'd been holding before making his way to the common room. He went down the stairs slowly and skipped over the last one as it creaked horribly. Luckily, it seemed everyone was still in bed as the common room was vacant, and quiet which was a surprise to Harry. There was always one or two Slytherins asleep on the couch which made his leaving difficult but now, Harry was relieved that he didn't have to worry about someone hearing or seeing the portrait open. He left with no issue that morning.

Harry walked quickly down the hall away from the dungeon the only noise was the sound of his footsteps and his breathing. He needed to get to Gryffindor Tower as fast as he could so he could get a couple hours of sleep. His mind drifted back to Draco, already longing to go back but he forced himself to walk forward. No matter how much he wanted to, he knew he couldn't go back since Draco had made his feelings clear.

They weren't friends. They weren't in a relationship. They were simply exploring their sexualities with each other. At first, Harry had no issue with Draco rules but now it had become obvious he'd broken the most important one.

Harry had caught feelings for Draco.


	2. Struggling Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was going fine, sort-of, for Harry until Draco had an offer he somehow couldn't refuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT:  
> This chapter has been written for a while but the next chapters are still a work in progress and won't be ready for some time. Please be patient with me, thank you!

Harry awoke to the sound of an alarm ringing off, startling him. He groaned loudly, rubbing his irritated eyes as the loud ringing continued to beat against his eardrums. He had only gotten a little over two hours of sleep and was too exhausted to even lift his arm to shut the alarm off. Instead, Harry flopped back down into his bed, and pulled his pillow tightly over his head to muffle out the high pitched sound that was making his ears ache. He just wanted to rest for a few more minutes before he had to get up and face the day.

Fortunately for him, Ron had also awoken to the irritating noise, and Harry heard him groan loudly before slamming the alarm clock, the noise dulling down for a few seconds before going silent entirely. Harry sighed in relief and peeked from underneath the pillow to check the time. Seeing he had a least another fifteen minutes before he really had to get up, Harry covered himself with the pillow once more. He couldn't fall back asleep of course after being woken up but he didn't care, as long as he could lay down for a while longer. His aching body needed all the extra rest it could get.

Besides, even if he could fall back asleep he wouldn't have been able to as his mind was already buzzing with thoughts of Draco, and the night before. He wondered if Draco was getting up now too or if he was still where Harry had left him. Curled up in bed. Naked. Alone. Did it bother Draco that he woke up alone every morning after they spent the night together as much as it bothered Harry to wake up in his bed after spending the whole night in another's? Because it bothered him. A lot.

Harry gripped his pillow tightly, his heart throbbing. It was painful to go to bed with the person you fancy and wake up without them the next morning. Harry envied the idea of getting to sleep with Draco, curled up against one another, making the dungeon mornings not feel so icy cold. It seemed cheesy but to Harry, that was a dream come true. He wanted to be in a relationship with Draco so badly but he was too terrified to make a move, afraid Draco would end things between them. It was kind of funny though since Harry had faced worse things before without fear but the thought of gathering up the courage to ask Draco out on a proper date made him want to run for the hills.

Harry sighed once more, burying his face into his pillow. A depression cloud looming over him as he thought about the blonde. It was hard, really hard, falling for the one person that didn't want a relationship with him. Even though Harry absolutely hated the fame attached to his name, he wished just this once, he could use it to woo Draco over and make him his. Alas, Harry was wise enough to know that it took more to impress Draco and even though they had been 'together' he knew nothing about him aside from how to please him.

Of course, Harry had no regrets being with Draco, but he regretted not challenging him on the rules. They'd been doing this for a month now and yet there would be no way for Harry to tell Draco his feelings without putting what they had at stake. He was too scared to lose what they had, even if it was just sex. It was the only way he could be close to him. The thought of having to go back to what they were before made his insides cringe. Nothing would be the same between them ever again. Harry just simply couldn't go back. Would Draco be able to if he was given the chance?

Harry pulled the pillow off of his head and rested on it, looking at the window near his bedside in an attempt to think of something else. The window looked like it was coated in ice, telling him it had snowed again, and Harry wondered if he should go flying today after classes today. He hadn't practiced much since Draco was taking up most of his time so it'd do him good to do a lap or two around the pitch. Angelina was determined to maintain Gryffindor's reputation now with Wood gone, and she'd been on Harry's heels for the last month, demanding that he use all of his extra time to practice.

Looking away from the window, Harry glanced at the clock. His heart sank when he saw it was time for him to get up and he closed his tired eyes to prepare himself for the long day ahead of him. Sitting up, Harry shuddered when a cold draft crawled over his neck. As much as he loved Hogwarts, he hated the cold that crept its way into the castle.

Harry tossed his covers off, influenced by the cold to get dressed as quickly as he could. He stretched out his back and arms, sighing in satisfaction when his joints cracked. Reaching for his glasses, he grasped them and slipped them on. Harry grumbled at the coldness in the air when another unpleasant shiver through his body. Using the blanket as a shield, he wrapped it around him before looking over at Ron. It didn't look like the redhead was ready to get up either, his arm hanging off the bed and soft snores erupting from his partially open mouth. It seemed he'd fallen back asleep.

"Ron…" Harry croaked out, "Get up, we've only got an hour or so before classes start. We gotta go and get something to eat. Snape will have our heads if we're late to class."

Ron peeked an eye open at the mention of food but he shut it before turning away, mumbling what sounded like "I'm too tired," and "Snape's a blimey tosser," Rolling his eyes, Harry persuaded him the only way he knew how to.

"If we don't hurry all the bacon and sausage will be gone by the time we get there."

Nothing more was said as Ron quickly got up at the thought of missing out on his favorite parts of breakfast. It made Harry's own stomach grumble and mouth water at the thought of food. He'd skipped dinner last night to go with Draco and he was just now realizing how hungry he was.

"We better hurry then," Ron said tiredly, rummaging around his disorganized bed for any clean clothes hidden within the sheets.

Harry chuckled at Ron's sudden eagerness before unwrapping himself from the covers. He tried to rub away the goosebumps that appeared on his skin and quickly went to his trunk that sat at the end of his bed. It was messy and full of random things Harry would just toss in it when he was feeling lazier than usual. After sniffing a few shirts, Harry couldn't distinguish between what was clean and what was dirty. They all smelled the same to him. Impatiently, he continued to rummage through his trunk, trying to find the thickest sweater he could.

As he did, Harry's other roommates also got up when he had mentioned breakfast. Neville banged his head on his bedpost as he hurried to get dressed, Dean snuck into the bathroom, and Seamus was already halfway changed. Harry was still trying to find a sweater to wear and from the bottom of his trunk, he pulled out a thick, light grey one he had gotten for Christmas from Hermione the year before.

Harry smiled vaguely at the color, thinking of Draco. It reminded him of the blonde's greyish eyes. Without a second thought, Harry slipped off his pajama shirt and put the sweater on, feeling warmer already. He was changing out of his sweats when Ron's voice met his ears.

"Oi, Harry?" Ron asked quietly, he had a curious look on his face.

"Yeah?" Harry replied, looking up at his best friend as he put on his socks.

"Erm.. Mind staying behind?" He asked sheepishly, looking away from Harry, "I have to er-talk to you about something."

Harry raised an eyebrow at his weird behavior but nodded. "Yeah, alright."

Harry went back to getting dressed, wondering what it was that Ron wanted to talk about but he shrugged it off as just another argument between him and Hermione. They'd been bickering more ever since Hermione became penpals with Viktor over the summer, which Ron strongly disliked and he wasn't afraid of showing it. Harry silently wished the two would get over themselves and date already but it seemed they were still far from it.

"Are ya guys comin' or not?" Seamus asked Ron and Harry. He was standing at the door, Neville, and Dean with him. All three were waiting patiently for their roommates.

"You go ahead, Ron and I will catch up with you guys later." Harry answered, "I still have to gather up all my books."

"Alright, we'll see ya later then," Seamus said with a wave. Neville and Dean also waved before following Seamus out the door, shutting it behind them with a loud click. Harry looked at Ron.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" He asked, "Is it about Viktor again? Because I really don't think there's something going between him and Hermione."

"No, it's not about them. You have a hickey on your neck." Ron said, pointing at his jaw. "I didn't want you to go out with it but I didn't want to point it out when the others were here because Seamus has a bit of a big mouth about these sort of things."

Harry flushed and instinctively covered it with his hand. He had completely forgotten it was there.

"Um, thanks." He said awkwardly, trying to cover it with his sweater while he looked for his wand. He cursed at himself inwardly, feeling stupid for not getting rid of it before he left Draco's room earlier that morning. Now he'd have to deal with Ron's teasing and questions all day. Again.

"So," Ron's voice piped up again much to Harry's grimace. He was sitting on his bed, looking at Harry with a sly smile spread across his face, "Is that why you skipped dinner last night? You were busy shagging your secret 'friend' again? What time did you get in last night? Because you looked like you haven't slept in days."

"Yes I was with them again, and I'm fine. I got plenty of sleep last night." Harry replied, ignoring his other questions, finally finding his wand. He pressed it against his neck, and muttered, " _Episkey._ "

"Come on, you're really not going to tell me anything else?" Ron pressed on. He put on his best hurt face. "I am still your best friend aren't I?"

"Ron, I-it's more complicated than that. I've told you before." Harry said, feeling guilty. He hated having to lie to his best friend about this thing he had with Draco but he knew it was for the best. Harry had a better chance of capturing the giant squid in the lake with his bare hands than having Ron accept what was going on between his best friend and their sworn enemy. He'd probably ruin their friendship forever if the truth came to light.

"You've been seeing her for a few weeks now right? And it's obvious things are getting serious between you two." Ron pressed on, "Don't you think I deserve to know a little more than just the aftermath of your dates aside from hickeys and a goofy smile-"

"It's not that serious, and they're not dates!" Harry interrupted his face flushing at the word. He'd hardly call shagging until you collapse a date. "And I do not have a goofy smile!"

"Oh please!" Ron said exasperated, standing up. "Whenever you spend time with her you look as giddy as a first year. Plus, you've started skipping quidditch practice just to spend time with this girl Harry!  _Quidditch_. I definitely think you two are getting more serious. A lot more than you think. And you're not even telling me anything!"

"Ron, it's not like that." Harry sighed, rubbing his temple. He needed to tell Ron something. It was the only way he'd get him off his back. At least for a little while.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked, confused.

"It doesn't matter if I tell you about them or not because we're not dating." Harry started, "We're not in a relationship. There's nothing more to it than just a casual shag. So there's no point in learning about someone who's just going to be a temporary thing anyway."

It hurt to say that, especially when Draco meant so much to him. But he couldn't deny the truth, it  _would_  be a temporary thing. Draco had made that clear and it didn't seem he would be changing his mind anytime soon, so Harry was left with the thought of enjoying things while they lasted.

Ron looked at him even more confused at first, then guilty and finally concerned.

"But I thought you two were dating, you were always sneaking off to see her between classes and at night. I'd consider that as dating someone, even if it's in secret." Ron paused, "I mean I thought you were keeping her hidden because of, well, because of who you are."

"That's what  _you_  thought but it isn't true, at least the dating part of it." Harry shrugged, "I've never been interested in dating before and I'm still not. It's just sex and that's it. No dating."

"So no dating? Just sex?" Ron asked slowly, making sure he was hearing him properly.

"No dating. Just sex." Harry repeated.

"Alright well," Ron hesitated and gave Harry an awkward smile, "I really wasn't expecting you to get involved in something like that so I'm not really sure what to say."

"Believe me, neither did I," Harry replied, letting out a chuckle.

"Well," Ron continued, "I don't think that's something that you should be doing but I'll support you no matter what you want to do. I just think you should reconsider what you're doing here since this isn't something that's good for you-"

"You sound like Hermione." Harry joked, "Besides, there's no harm in fooling around. I'm having a good time and that's what matters right? I'm fine. Tired all the time, but fine."

"All right, I trust you," Ron said with a smile. He walked up to Harry and held up a fist bump to him. "You're my best friend. And I get that you want to keep things between you and this girl private because of your name but if you ever need to talk about it, you know I'm here right?"

It hurt Harry to see the sincerity and loyalty in Ron's face. Even though Ron meant good with his words, it still felt like he'd been punched in the gut. How could he be doing this to his best friend? Harry gave him a weak smile and lightly bumped his own fist with Ron's.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." Harry said. He grabbed his book bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, one more thing though." Ron said as he grabbed his own book bag, "As a prefect, I have to tell you about skipping quidditch practice. Angelina was at my throat last week when you didn't show up and Hermione was at my throat last night when she found out  _from_ Angelina. I figured it'd be better to hear this from me before the two of them could get ahold of you."

"Alright," Harry grumbled, still a little envious about Hermione and Ron being prefects, "I swear I won't skip anymore. I'm actually planning on going for a fly after class today if you want to join?"

"As much as I'd like to, I can't." Ron said sadly, "All this prefect stuff is making me fall behind on school work. Even Hermione is struggling to keep up with it all. So we're planning on going to the library after classes, maybe after you're done flying you'll join us before we have dinner?"

"Maybe, I don't know how long I'll fly for but I'll definitely be there for dinner tonight." Harry said, "Come on, let's get going."

The pair left the dormitory in a hurry. Hermione wasn't waiting for them in her usual spot which meant she had left without them already. When the portrait closed behind them, Ron broke the short silence that had fallen between them.

"So, can you tell me a little bit about her?" Ron asked slowly, not wanting to set Harry off.

Harry hesitated at first but he eventually nodded. As long as he was careful with how he answered then he would be fine.

"Fine, I'll give you.." He thought for a moment, "Ten questions but I get to pass on the ones I don't want to answer."

"Deal," Ron said happily.

Harry shook his head while Ron stayed quiet, deeply pondering the questions he'd be asking. The two of them were halfway to the Great Hall when Ron finally asked his first question.

"What's her name?"

"Pass," Harry said with no hesitation.

"Damn. Too bold." Ron muttered, "Is she in our year?"

Harry hesitated but he nodded. Their year was unusually small due to the war but he was still confident Ron wouldn't figure it out. He thought he was with a girl so that tipped the odds in his favor.

"Is she in our house?"

"No," Harry said.

"Really?" Ron said, obviously surprised, "I always thought you'd land up with someone in our house. Alright, well hufflepuff and ravenclaw girls are pretty nice too I guess. Do we have any classes with her?"

"Yes," Harry said, feeling uncomfortable. Ron didn't even consider slytherin as an option. Even for the women. It just showed how badly he would take the news if he found out Harry was shagging a  _slytherin._  Who was also a  _man._ Who was also  _Draco Malfoy_.

"What does she look like?"

"Like any other person."

"That's not a fair answer." Ron protested.

"So you admit it's an answer." Harry said cooly, "Five more questions left." The two were approaching the Great Hall before Ron asked the next question.

"Is it someone I know well?" Ron asked, pausing at the door.

"You know  _of_  them," Harry replied.

"Is it Padma Patil? She's in Ravenclaw and she went with us to the Yule Ball."

"I wouldn't date anyone you were previously associated with. That'd be weird." Harry answered, "Three questions."

"Looney-I mean Luna Lovegood?"

"No. We're just friends."

"Hannah Abbott?"

"I don't even know who that is." Harry said, "Last question."

"She's in hufflepuff. Her and Neville are always geeking out about plants in herbology." Ron explained, "And alright. On a scale of one to ten with one being the lowest, how hot is she?"

"Isn't that a bit of a shallow question?"

"So you admit it's a question," Ron said mockingly, smiling. Harry rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling back.

"Off the scale." He answered. It was true, even before Harry and Draco started their fling, he always thought the blonde was attractive.

Harry and Ron finally entered the Great Hall. Harry's stomach rumbled at the smell of food and Ron was practically drooling. Harry caught sight of bushy hair and saw Hermione sitting in their usual spot. She looked up at that moment and waved at them before dipping her head back down to continue reading whatever book she was studying this week.

When they got closer, Harry and Ron sat down in front of her. Ron was already distracted by the food and he quickly started piling his plate. Hermione was busy reading  _Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them_. Again. After knowing her for so long, Harry still didn't know how she wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw with her love for books and knowledge. Then again, he shouldn't be stereotyping the houses since he was meant to be in Slytherin. They all went to their house for whatever reason and he quickly dismissed his assumption. Besides, if Hermione had gone to Ravenclaw, he and Ron would've died their first year for sure.

"Morning." She said to the two of them, not looking up from her book, "What took you two so long? I waited for you in the common room for nearly half an hour and neither of you showed up."

"Ron and Seamus got into a pillow fight," Harry said, scooping up a spoonful of eggs and hashbrowns. "Should've seen it, feathers everywhere, girly screams, the whole nine yards, it was madness I tell you. We barely made it out of there alive. Ron got knocked out in the end and I had to take the time to resurrect him."

"I did-We did NOT!" Ron said defensively, his face turning red at the blatant lie. Harry gave him a look that told him to just go along with it. Ron kissed his teeth and huffed but went along with it anyway. "It was actually a manly wrestling match between two men. Which I won by the way." He grumbled under his breath, avoiding Hermione's gaze.

Hermione brought a hand to her mouth to stifle her laugh before clearing her throat.

"Okay then." She said softly, going back to her reading.

Harry smiled, glancing off to the side when he heard Ginny laughing. He watched her and Dean for a moment, the two of them obviously flirting with one another. Ginny had her head rested on Dean's shoulder, practically cuddling with him as they talked amongst themselves. Both of them had smiles plastered to their faces and despite Ginny's endless amount of freckles and Dean's dark skin, Harry could see the blushes tinging their cheeks. It was then that Harry felt a sense of jealousy surged through him but it wasn't aimed at Ginny since he had no feelings for her.

It was directed at her and Dean's privilege. The things they could do without anyone caring. The things they  _could_ have, that Harry couldn't. He'd never wish ill upon the two of them, but it was upsetting to see others have relationships and to actually have the person you like,  _like_  you back. He just wanted to be able to do that too.

Harry turned away, thinking of Draco. He stuffed a strip of bacon into his mouth before looking up towards the Slytherin table, scanning for his blonde hair. It was stupid, but he was always trying to catch a glimpse of him whenever he had the chance. He just couldn't help himself and was often looking for him during meals and in class. After Ron had called him out on it once, he tried to do it less but it was hard, seeing the blonde always made Harry feel a little happier. How could you not want to see the person that made your heart flutter or stomach twist in a good way? You just simply couldn't.

Harry took a sip of his juice, his eyes continued to dart back and forth and they finally stopped when he saw Draco. His lips immediately curved into a small smile, which he quickly hid behind his cup of juice, his stomach doing backflips at the sight of him. Draco was sitting between Zabini and Parkinson, the usual.

Draco seemed to be laughing and Harry didn't know what he was laughing about at first until he saw it was because a group of ravenclaws that looked like they had fallen. Harry figured Parkinson had been the one to prank them since she was the only one with her wand out. As the ravenclaws tried to recollect themselves, Parkinson and Draco were sneering at them, their mouths moving in what was probably a list of prepared insults. Zabini even seemed to smile briefly before going monotone again. Harry didn't approve of bullying but seeing Draco laugh made him want to laugh along with him.

His humor disappeared quickly though when Parkinson suddenly latched herself onto Draco's arm, resting her head upon his shoulder. Another surge of jealousy tagged along with anger passed through him and Harry clenched his fork hard, wanting to stab Parkinson with it. He glared at the two after all how  _dare_ she touch what was _his._

Harry blinked, breaking the trance he was in and felt alarmed at the claim he just thought. Draco wasn't his, they weren't in a relationship, he had no say so whatsoever over what he decided to do. Tearing his gaze away, Harry felt sick at the idea of Draco being with anyone else other than him. Insecurities began rising up, and he began wondering if he wasn't the only one Draco was fooling around with. Was he with Parkinson too? Or maybe, Harry looked over the Slytherin table, had any of them seen Draco in the same way he did? He looked over at the other houses, even his own house and couldn't shake off the worrying feeling he had that others may be involved with Draco.

Harry swiftly took another gulp of his juice, trying to ease the pain he felt in his stomach as he pushed the thoughts into the depths of his mind. He looked over at Draco and Parkinson one more time, feeling a little better when he saw they had separated from one another. She was pouting and looking cross, so it seemed Draco had shrugged her off. Harry's stomach unclenched and his heart soared at the fact it had been Draco that stopped their coddling.

Realizing he had been quiet for some time now, Harry cautiously looked around his table to make sure no one had noticed his behavior. Luckily, everyone seemed to be interested in their own conversations with one another, including Ron and Hermione, who were busy arguing over a creature in Hermione's book of some type of spider Ron kept insisting he had seen at the Burrow even though Hermione told him it was only found in Southern Australia.

Not interested in their discussion, he looked at Ginny and Dean again. They were still in the same position as before, not moving away from each other. Again, Harry was left wondering if he'd ever have something like that with Draco and he sighed to himself, toying around with his food before taking a bite. Sure he enjoyed the sex they had and that was definitely important to a good relationship but he wanted less sexual things as well.

Harry's mind started buzzing with different scenarios filled with cuddle sessions, gentle caresses, going on dates together, forehead kisses, inside jokes and much more. As long as Draco was involved, Harry wanted it. He wanted all of it. His favorite idea was getting to hold hands with Draco while walking to class together or even just casually. It was simple but he craved the idea of showing off Draco to others, to show he was his, that they were together and most importantly, that they were  _happy._  He just wanted to live the story of a boy named Harry who liked another boy named Draco. Even more, he wanted the story where Draco liked him  _back_.

"Harry, are you listening? _"_

Hermione's voice tore Harry away from his thoughts and he looked up at his friend.

"What?" He said.

"Told you he wasn't listening," Hermione said to Ron, an irritated look on her face.

"Sorry, didn't mean to tune you out. What were you saying?" Harry said, stabbing into his eggs before taking a bite.

"I asked if you were going to start going back to quidditch practice." Hermione said, "Angelina talked to me last night and she is still really upset with you."

"I know, Ron already talked to me about it this morning," Harry said before she could continue, not really wanting to hear her lecture. "It was a one-time thing, I'll start going back to practice I swear."

"There's one other thing," Hermione said, her voice lowering to a whisper. She looked at Ron before looking back at Harry.

"And that is?" Harry asked, an eyebrow raised at the shared look, and he took another bite of his food.

"Cedric is coming back."

Harry nearly choked on the food he just swallowed and he quickly drank some juice before he went into a coughing fit. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, all of his attention was on Hermione now.

"Are you-Are you serious? How do you know that? When is he coming back?" He said in a rushed whisper. He hadn't seen or spoken to Cedric since the tournament. He didn't even know what happened to him afterward. Cedric was just ceased to exist. Disappeared. Vanished. Even Cho didn't know what happened to him.

Hermione leaned closer to Harry, not wanting to be overheard. "Professor Dumbledore sent an owl for Ron and me to come by his study last night and told us. He wanted to tell you himself but he said the news would be better if it came from the two of us and that you'd handle it easier. We wanted to tell you last night but you were busy with your 'friend' and we didn't have the chance."

Hermione's tone got bitter when she said the word friend and Harry saw the anger flash in her eyes. She was the only one that actually knew the truth about Draco but hadn't said anything because of her respect towards Harry's privacy. She had found out about them pretty quickly when she had noticed Harry staring at Draco all the time and his change in behavior towards the blonde. She confronted him once she had all the evidence she needed and Harry didn't see any reason to lie to her about it. He didn't tell her much about them, just that they were seeing each other and it wouldn't be something that'd last very long. Even though it took some time, she eventually came to accept it, despite almost choking him to death and telling him he was absolutely mad for seeing Draco.

Harry didn't pay any mind to her glare though, taken aback from her words. He fell into silence, trying to wrap his head around what he'd just been told. Cedric was coming back. He was actually coming back to Hogwarts. He'd be walking the halls again. He'd be sitting in the Great Hall again. As cliche as it was, Harry was touched at the thought of his return. He needed to talk to him about that night in the graveyard. Harry wanted to know why he suddenly abandoned everything.

"We'll tell you more about it later," Ron said when Harry didn't say anything. "We best be on our way now. Breakfast is almost over and it'll take us a while to get down to potions."

Harry nodded, shoving a few more forkfuls of food into his mouth before standing up. He glanced over to the Slytherin table one last time, hoping to catch one last glimpse of Draco before being forced to ignore him in their potions class together. Harry was surprised when Draco was facing his way, an odd look on his face that Harry could only describe as a look of concern. He looked away quickly though when he noticed Harry looking at him and Harry's eyes lingered for a moment before he also turned away. Harry kept his eyes glued to the floor, not listening when Hermione and Ron started talking again. He gripped the front of his shirt tightly as the trio exited the Great Hall, he could feel his heart hammering against his fist.

 _"Damn."_ Harry thought, " _Damn it all."_

Harry continued to stare at the floor, trying to calm himself down when Ron suddenly cursed loudly from behind him, pulling him from his thoughts.

"SHIT!" The redhead shouted, rummaging wildly through his bag. "Shit shit shit!"

" _Language_." Hermione scolded through gritted teeth, glancing at the younger students passing by, her eyebrows furrowed.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked as Ron continued to look through his bag. "Did you leave something?"

"I forgot my parchment back in the dorm." Ron groaned loudly, sinking to his knees, his hands covering his face. "It's the first major essay for this month. Snape will give me detention if I don't turn it in. Or worse, he'll take house points from gryffindor this year. The prat is always looking for a reason to knock us down."

"Are you sure it's not in your bag?" Harry asked, peering into the disorganized bag, "I'm more than sure I saw you put it in this morning."

"That was for charms," Ron said grimly, shuffling around the items in his bag as he searched again. "I was up doing it last night in bed. I must've left it on my nightstand before I went to bed."

"Do you have most of it memorized?" Hermione asked, "Or did you perhaps write down a copy?

"Why on earth would I take the extra time to do that?!" Ron snapped, making Hermione flinch. She recovered quickly though and Harry felt a chill go up his spine when her look darkened. It was the same look she had she when had slapped Draco in their third year.

"Well that 'extra time' would've gotten you out of this mess wouldn't it?!" Hermione snapped back.

"Alright alright!" Harry said before the two could start bickering. "Why don't you just run upstairs and get it? We still have-" he looked at his watch, "-twenty minutes."

"I'll have to run." Ron whined, "Even then I don't think I'll make it."

"I'll distract Snape if I have to." Harry said, "Here, give me your bag, and start running. We'll meet you there."

Ron said nothing and jumped to his feet handing Harry his bag before sprinting towards the staircases. Hermione sighed loudly as she watched him. She smiled weakly at Harry.

"He's not going to make it is he?" She asked.

"Probably not but we'll see." Harry replied with a shrug, "Come on, let's go. The least we can do is buy him some time."

Slinging Ron's bag over his shoulder, Harry and Hermione started their way down towards the dungeons. They avoided the mass crowd of first-year students who were trying to find their way around the castle but Hermione stopped every few minutes to help a distressed gryffindor. Harry stood awkwardly off to the side as she talked to them before they continued walking. When they were far away from the crowds of students, Hermione's soft voice rang through the air.

"So..you're still seeing him?" She asked, getting straight to the point. She never wasted a moment to remind Harry that what he was doing with Draco was a mistake.

"..Yes." Harry replied, feeling the tension rising.

"It's been a month now Harry." She said slowly, looking up at him, "When are you going to end it with him? Haven't things gone long enough?"

"I don't know," Harry answered, avoiding her intense gaze. "Things are.. things are still at the same point they were a month ago. Nothing has changed between us and I doubt they will in the future. It's only a matter of time now."

"You sound disappointed by that," Hermione said, her voice strained. Harry could hear the anger rising in her voice but didn't try to deny anything since she was right. Lying to her would only make her go off. "And things have changed. For everyone. You just haven't realized it yet because the only thing you see now is him."

"I do not." Harry said defensively, "And it's still only a temporary thing."

"Exactly how long is temporary?" Hermione persisted, the anger was crawling more and more into her voice. She clenched her books tightly. "Because this isn't a fling anymore Harry. Skipping practice?  _Lying_  to Ron? Spending the night in  _his_  dorm? What you're doing now is considered  _dating-_ "

"We are  _not_  dating." Harry interrupted, not wanting to fight about this again, "We're just fooling around. That's it. There's nothing else there."

"You don't believe that and neither do I," Hermione said coldly but her eyes softened when she saw the sad look on his face. She touched Harry's shoulder gently, in a comforting way. "I see the way you look at him, Harry.. It's not just fooling around anymore. At least on your end. If you aren't going to tell him how you feel, then why bother with him?"

"It doesn't matter if I do. Nothing is going to change Hermione," Harry said with a shake of his head, his heart aching. "There will never be anything between us, and it doesn't matter how I feel."

"It does SO matter!" Hermione said loudly, making a few nearby students turn their heads. She glared at them until they turned away before lowering her voice to a harsh whisper, "You've been so down and shut off lately from everyone that you can't even see how this is affecting you! He's obviously just using you Harry for your fame or whatever! You should be with someone that actually cares about you, takes care of you and might even come to love you when the time is right! You have to stop seeing him at once Harry!"

"I knew what I was getting into before we started this. And I'll admit I haven't been myself recently but it's honestly because I'm so tired all the time. I just need some more rest and I'll be myself in no time." Harry explained, trying to detangle himself from the mess he was making, "I'd really rather not talk about this because it doesn't matter anyway since it won't be lasting much longer. I appreciate your concern for me but I'd rather be left alone on this one."

"Fine!" Hermione said angrily, her eyes watering, "I'll leave you to your own thoughts then!"

Hermione stormed off, her bushy hair bouncing around her as she marched. Harry didn't try to stop her as no one could stop an angry Hermione. It was better to let her cool down first before trying to talk to her. Harry jumped when a hand suddenly clasped onto his shoulder and he was surprised to see Ron, who was bent over and breathing hard. He held up a crumpled parchment, an annoyed look on his face.

"It was in-" He gasped, "-my robe's pocket. The whole time."

"Come one." Harry chuckled, patting Ron on the back, "Let's go to class."

"Where's 'Mione?" He wheezed out, taking his bag back from Harry. "Why'd she take off like that?"

"She's mad at me," Harry answered, feeling guilty that he made her upset. "She told me I needed to end the fling and stormed off when I told her I wanted to handle this myself."

"Ah-don't mind her." Ron said with a wave of his hand, "She'll get over it like she always does. What's she got against your gal anyway? Hermione doesn't even know who she is and she acts like she's the scum of the earth."

"She's just worried for me." Harry said, "I haven't been myself recently so she's just trying to help."

"Still." Ron shrugged, "She doesn't have to be so hateful, especially when your fling hasn't done anything to her. Come on, we're nearing to potions."

" _If only you knew._ " Harry thought, following Ron silently. " _You'd also hate me._ "

The day went agonizingly slow for Harry, especially with Hermione ignoring Ron and him. She was quiet for most of the day and only spoke when she wanted to answer a question in class. She didn't even sit with them for lunch or bother to respond when they tried talking to her. Harry had given up at this point and decided to just wait it out until she came around but Ron was persistent as ever, not wanting her to find comfort in writing letters to Krum.

"I'm going to the library," Ron stated loudly when they finished their last class for the day. "Hermione will be too focused on her homework to stay angry. You sure you don't want to come?"

"No, I think it's better if you talk to her first," Harry said, his eyes wandering towards the window. The skies still looked clear enough for flying and Harry needed to practice. "I don't think she's ever been this upset with me so I don't want to set her off again if I show up."

"Alright, I'm off then. I'll see you at dinner." Ron said with a wave of his hand before heading down the staircases while Harry continued his journey to gryffindor tower.

Harry went straight to his room once he got there to drop off his bag before heading outside. Since it was likely that it was cold out, Harry would need to change into something more suited for the weather. However, once he got to the empty dorm he felt a wave of tiredness wash over him. Harry leaned against the closed door for a moment, shutting his eyes as if he could get a full night's sleep within the next few seconds. He sighed loudly to himself in the empty room.

Today had been a tiring day for him. Snape was an ass as usual during class, Angelina yelled at him during lunch, and now Hermione was ignoring him, the one person that seemed to understand all of the crazy things happening in his life currently. Despite all these things, what was bothering him the most was the fact that Draco was avoiding him for whatever reason. The blonde usually would give him small nods or looks to hint at Harry to come by his room later or at least a note telling him when the next time would be. Instead, he got nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not even an insult from him. It was both infuriating and worrying since Harry didn't know what it meant, Draco  _never_ left him wondering like this.

" _It's fine."_ Harry reassured himself, trying to get rid of the uneasy feeling in his stomach, " _He probably has other things to do like me. He's fine. We're fine._ " Somehow, the thought made him feel worse.

Another sigh escaped Harry's lips and he stood back up. He needed to fly. It was the only way he could destress when he was feeling like this. Tossing his bag on his bed, Harry changed out of his school uniform and put on regular winter clothes, not wanting to waste another moment stuck inside. Without a second glance at his bed that was desperately calling out to him, Harry left the dormitories and started his way downstairs to the quidditch pitch.

His walk to the pitch was uneventful and the hair on Harry's neck stood up when he stepped outside, it was colder than he had thought it would be. He glanced up at the sky as he walked to the locker room. It looked like it would be snowing soon, the clouds were turning a dark grey color and the sun was hidden. But it didn't concern him, he wasn't planning on staying out long. That twelve-inch essay was still waiting for him, along with the ten-inch one Snape had assigned earlier that day.

He shivered when a gust of wind blew through him and walked quickly to the locker rooms, where his new quidditch uniform was waiting to be broken into. He changed rather quickly, excited to fly and he practically ran to the broom shed to grab his broom, itching to soar with the winds.

Being careful not to slip on the patches of ice, Harry mounted his broom the second he passed by the towering stands and flew until he was several meters in the air. He did a few laps to warm up before double-checking the time to see how long he could fly for. He had about two hours before dinner time. He'd fly around for an hour or so, do some homework, go to dinner and finish whatever was left afterward. At this point, Harry accepted the fact he wouldn't be seeing Draco tonight but deep down there was a flicker of hope he would.

" _Don't think._ " Harry thought, shaking his head as if he could empty his thoughts out that way, " _Just fly._ "

Gripping tightly onto his broom, Harry took off into the sky.

The cold air was quick to nip at his exposed face but Harry didn't pay any mind to it, it actually felt nice, flying to Harry was like taking a dip in a cold pool on a hot day. He shut his eyes for a brief moment, relaxing into the feeling of the wind blowing past his ears and through his hair. It was an amazing rush and sent chills through his body, from the tips of his fingers to his toes. All his worries and fears melted away.

Opening his eyes again, Harry slowed down to a stop and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a golden snitch, the silver wings immediately unfolded when exposed to the outside air and slowly fluttered, waiting to be released. Since Angelina was the new captain of the team and wanted to keep up Gryffindor's reputation, she had given Harry the snitch to practice within private for extra practice. Harry glanced around for a moment, just waiting for Snape to pop out of the snow and take points away from his house. When the greasy git didn't, Harry let go of the snitch and it whizzed off, losing sight of it quickly.

Harry flew around quickly, trying to find where it went. As he did, he practiced new moves, like sharper dips and smaller loops, anything that would help sharpen his reflexes for the upcoming games this year. He soared high into the sky once more, looking intently for the snitch and listening for the faint humming of its wings. It was difficult since the snow on the ground was reflecting against the dim sunlight, making it look as if the ground was covered in thousands of shimmering snitches.

" _Where is it?_ " He thought, moving higher up to get a better view of the field, " _Angelina will murder me if I lose it-_ "

"This what you're looking for Potter?" A cool voice said from above.

Harry snapped his head up, his eyes locking with twinkling grey ones.

Draco was hovering above him in his own quidditch gear, hanging upside on his broom, snitch in hand and a faint smirk on his face. He was too close for comfort, only inches from Harry's face and Harry caught a whiff of his cologne, the one he personally liked. Harry's face flushed when he realized how close they were and he jerked his broom back instinctively, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to think of something to say.

Unfortunately, Harry wouldn't get a chance too, for he had pulled his broom too far back and lost his balance. It all happened so quickly, Harry found himself grasping desperately at the end of his broomstick, trying to pull himself up but his fingers were too cold to get a firm enough grip and his strength had abandoned him. His broom lurched again, Draco shouted, and then Harry was holding onto nothing, falling down towards the ground.


	3. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: Sexual scenes ahead

As he fell, Harry was rapidly trying to think of a way to save himself. The calm wind from before was now angrily whipping around him, sending awful chills through his body. A levitating spell was the first thing that came to mind. He immediately went for his wand, scrambling to pull it out from where he had tightly tucked it away in his breast pocket to ensure he wouldn’t drop it while flying. Harry swore when he realized he’d knotted it too many times but he tried to undo it anyway, yanking at the strings desperately.

“Come on, COME ON!” Harry cursed, panicking when he saw the stands coming into view. He didn’t have much time left before he’d reach the ground. He gave up on trying to unknot it and instead tried ripping the whole pocket off. If he made it out alive, the first thing he was going to do was find a better place to secure his wand.

“POTTER!”

Harry looked above him, his fingers still yanking at the pocket. Draco was diving towards him at a fast rate, hand outstretched to him. Of all the years Harry had known him, he’d never seen Draco look so terrified before; except maybe when Buckbeak had attacked him. He’d also never seen a determined look on him before, but it somehow calmed him, even though he was still falling to what could be his death.

Forgetting about his wand, Harry thrust his own hand out to him, trying to grab Draco’s. Harry felt a brief sense of Deja Vu, their first meeting coming to mind when Draco had asked for friendship. If he wasn’t about break half his body, Harry would’ve laughed at the idea of how his younger self would react to the relationship between them now. 

Their fingertips brushed at first but Draco stretched himself further and he grabbed ahold of Harry’s wrist, his fingers sinking into his skin. Draco yanked his broom upward to stop the dive but it didn’t work as well as the blonde probably thought it would. Their combined weight and awkward position only made the broom jerk sharply and Draco flipped forward with a yell. He slammed face first into Harry’s chest, knocking the wind out of him and the two tumbled down toward the ground. Instantly, Harry wrapped his body around Draco’s to shield him and they slammed into the snow with a loud crunch.

Luckily, the fall was short and Draco’s interference had prevented any deadly damage that might’ve occurred. There was also enough snow that had gathered up the night before so it somewhat cushioned them. Well, it cushioned Harry anyway, Draco was still pressed tightly against his chest and had all the cushioning he could get. Of course, it still hurt and Harry swore he saw golden snitches flying around him before vanishing. He let out a small groan and cursed under his breath. He slipped his arms away from Draco’s waist, granting the blonde freedom and he tried to sit up.

“You alright, Malfoy?” He grunted out, wiggling his toes and fingers to make sure nothing was broken. He was relieved when everything seemed to still be in place.

Draco didn’t respond or even move, his face hidden in Harry’s shoulder. Harry panicked and tried to turn Draco’s head, to see if he was still conscious but his hands were immediately batted away.

“Malfoy? Are you alright,” Harry asked again, trying to look at him, “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Shut up.” Draco’s muffled response rang out.

“What?”

“I said  _ shut up. _ ” Draco repeated, “Give me a moment.” 

“Erm..alright.” Harry said, confused, laying back in the snow.

Silence fell between the two and the longer Draco stayed laying on him the more Harry felt his face turning red. He pressed his face into the surrounding snow, trying to cool himself off and keep calm. They were practically  _ cuddling _ with one another at the moment. Draco’s body was relaxed against his, his hands were on Harry’s chest gripping his shirt tightly and Draco’s face was pressed against his neck. Draco’s hot breath brushing past his ear was making Harry tingle in a good way, a  _ really _ good way. Harry swallowed hard, using every ounce of willpower he had to prevent a hard-on from forming.

Harry looked down at the blonde and bit at his lip, wondering if it was a good idea to wrap his arms around Draco again. Maybe Draco was more shaken up than he thought and needed consolation. Harry had to remember that not everyone faced death as often as he did.

Plus, Draco didn’t look like he’d be moving any time soon and considering the position they were in, it wouldn’t hurt to do it, right? Harry slowly shifted his arms, about to engulf Draco in a hug but he abruptly sat up at that moment. Harry, disappointed, played his movement off by pretending to adjust his glasses. He cleared his throat and sat up, still fidgeting with his glasses while trying to keep himself from blushing.

Harry looked up at Draco, who was still sitting on his lap and was relieved to see that he was fine. Draco was staring at him emotionlessly, as usual, arms crossed over his chest but Harry could see the anger etched into his eyes. They were dilated more so than usual. But why would Draco be angry with him? He hadn’t done anything wrong. 

“Are you-” Harry started but he was cut off when Draco smacked the side of his head, “OW! What the hell?!” 

“You’re an idiot Potter.” It was all Draco had said before he moved from Harry’s body. He looked around the pitch, probably looking for his broom, and he stormed off in a direction. Harry felt his anger rise and he stood up, trying to ignore the pain in his back. He stormed after Draco, snatching up his own broom that had landed nearby.

“I’m- _ I’m _ the idiot?! You’re the one that popped up out of nowhere all ‘Hey Potter’ and scared me off my broom!” Harry argued childishly, “And you should be thanking me!”

“Thanking you?” Draco said, stopping his march. He turned to look at him, eyebrows narrowed. “ _ I  _ should be thanking  _ you _ ?”

“Yes,” Harry said defiantly, “I kept you from hitting the ground if you don’t recall.”

Draco marched up to Harry, an intimidating look on his face but Harry was unphased since he was about as scary as pygmy puff. Harry glared up at the blonde who was slightly taller than him.

“ _ You,  _ Potter,” Draco said, jabbing Harry in the chest, “Should be thanking  _ me.  _ I saved your arse from falling to your death.”

“I’d hope you would since you’re the one that made me fall in the first place.” Harry said coolly.

“Maybe if you could actually pay attention to your surroundings you would’ve seen me  _ and  _ caught the snitch ahead of time. Losing your edge, are you Potter?” Draco sneered.

Harry bit the tip of his tongue, preventing himself from saying something he may regret. He swallowed his words, trying to calm himself down. It wasn’t worth it, arguing over something as stupid as this. Instead, he stuck out his hand, giving Draco a hard look.

“The snitch,” Harry said coldly, “Give it back.”

He wasn’t in the mood for Draco’s games or shitty attitude. First, he ignored him all day, then he took his snitch and now he was being an asshole when he was the one at fault. Harry may have feelings for him and he may have tolerated Draco’s attitude but he wasn’t going to let him treat him this way.

Draco’s face lost its sharp edge, anger disappearing as if it never was there in the first place. Harry felt his anger waver when Draco’s lips curved into that damned smirk of his but he refused to let Draco win him over that way, narrowing his eyebrows. That didn’t stop his heart from racing and his stomach from doing backflips. Damn him.

“Play me for it. A single game.” Draco said, holding the snitch up. Its wings unfolded once more when it was exposed to the air and the wings started to hum. “You win, you get your snitch back and I’ll apologize for supposedly “knocking you off your broom.”

“You didn’t knock me off, you made me lose my balance.” Harry clarified before adding on, “..And if I lose?” His stomach started to twist with excitement. His irritation disappeared when he recognized the look in Draco’s eye. It was one he was so familiar with.  _ Desire. _

“If I win..” Draco’s voice drawled to silence. He seemed to think for a moment before shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “Well, I can’t ruin the surprise can I? Do we have a deal?”

“Ruin the surprise then.” Harry replied, withdrawing his still outstretched hand in case Draco forced an unfair shake. He’d never go into a bet without knowing what would happen if he lost. George and Fred had pranked Ron many times that way.

“If you insist,” Draco responded. He walked closer to Harry, dipping his head forward so his mouth was by his ear. Harry tried not to shiver when he felt his hot breath on his neck. “If I win, we take our ‘interests’ to the locker rooms and-” Draco bit his ear harshly, making him jump back, “-you bottom for me.”

Harry’s hand went straight to his ear, covering it and his face flushed, leaving Draco to smirk more. He’d never let Draco taken him before or even thought of doing so for that matter, he wondered why he had the sudden change of interest. However, Harry couldn’t deny that he was intrigued. It  _ would  _ be an interesting experience and he briefly imagined what it would be like. Draco’s fingers digging into his hips, dirty whispers in his ear, his length inside him.. Merlin, Harry wondered what that would be like. It almost made him want to lose the game on purpose, but his pride wouldn’t let him go down without a fight. Especially against Draco.

“I still get the snitch back though, even if I lose,” Harry said gripping his broom tightly. “Other than that, it’s a deal.”

Draco’s lips curved once more into a faint smirk. He opened his palm and threw the snitch into the air. It zipped over their heads briefly as if deciding where to go before dashing off towards the stands. Harry lost sight of it quickly, it disappeared.

“Deal.”

Harry mounted his broom quickly and instead of speeding off in the direction of the snitch, he flew upward so he could see the whole pitch, his stomach doing backflips again. He shuddered at the cold wind and saw Draco flying in the direction of the snitch. Harry bit his lip when he saw how fast and elegantly he moved. It was obvious he’d been practicing since he was rubbish in their third and fourth year and it actually made Harry feel a little nervous. He didn’t let it intimidate him though, instead, it made him even more determined to win.

“ _ That’s just like him though. _ ” Harry thought, eyes scanning over the pitch for the snitch, “ _ He wouldn’t participate in a competition he knew he couldn’t win. _ ”

Harry stopped when he saw a glimmer of gold, it was next to one of the stands. With no hesitation, he gripped his broom tightly and dove towards it. It wasn’t long before he saw Draco approaching from his peripheral vision, trying to catch up. Harry smiled and turned his attention back to the snitch.

It was on.

* * *

 

“I believe that’s game?”

The words sounded so smug when they left Draco’s mouth, that Harry had to grit his teeth to keep himself from whacking the cocky bastard over the head with his broom. After an intense hour-long match of close calls and Draco shouting things at Harry that was dirty enough to make him turn red as a tomato, the cheeky Slytherin was somehow the one with the snitch in his hand. Harry said nothing, his pride wounded and he simply glared. His silence seemed to thrill Draco even more though, a smirk taking over his thin lips once more.

“Don’t be such a sore-loser, Potter,” Draco said, tossing the snitch to Harry. “There’s no shame in losing.”

“You’d know a few things about losing wouldn’t you?” Harry said in a snarky tone.

“Oooh touchy are we?” Draco grinned not taking the bait, “I dare say you sound almost as if you were disappointed.” 

“I’m not disappointed.” Harry immediately lied, tucking the snitch into his pocket. He’d be sure to tell Angelina that Slytherin had stepped up their game for this year, as much as he didn’t want to admit it.

It was obvious Draco didn’t believe him but he said nothing, too gleeful about his victory. Instead, he leaned on his broom and looked Harry up and down. Slowly. Very slowly. Harry couldn’t help but flush, especially when he saw him biting his lip. Draco had never looked at him like that before.

“What?” Harry blurted out, his heart hammering in his chest.

“It’s time you hold your end of the deal,” Draco said, walking past Harry. He nudged his head in the directions of the lockers, “Shall we?”

“You..” Harry’s eyes widened, “-you want to do this  _ now _ ? Right here?” They only ever had sex in Draco’s room. And that one time in a broom closet. Regardless, it would be risky for them.

“Is that a problem?” Draco asked, tilting his head in a curious manner.

Harry’s mouth gaped open before he slammed it shut, his face turning red as he tried to process the idea of having sex in the locker room. There were so many things that could go wrong, getting caught being the biggest problem of them all. But, Harry’s mind suddenly recalled the night he’d first taken Draco. The way he twisted and moaned for him. The way Draco’s nails dug into Harry’s back, unintentionally marking him. Harry had no doubt in his mind that Draco would be capable of doing the same to him.

“Well?” Draco’s voice pulled Harry from his thoughts, “Are we doing this or not?”

“Yes.” Harry said licking his lips, “Yes.”

“One yes is enough, Potter,” Draco said before his lips curved into a devilish smirk. “But I don’t mind you saying it multiple times like that. Though I prefer it when we’re doing.. Other things.”

Draco winked and turned away after he said that which Harry was thankful for. Otherwise, the blonde would’ve seen him reach a new shade of red.

Eagerly, Harry followed after Draco, trying to contain his excitement. His heart was racing and his stomach was doing somersaults as they neared the lockers. Even though it was his first time being taken, he didn’t feel very nervous or scared. If anything he was glad he took a shower the day before he’d gone to Draco’s dorm last night. Harry assumed he felt so calm because he trusted Draco more than he initially thought.

“Are we using Slytherin or Gryffindor?” Harry asked suddenly, running to catch up with Draco. He honestly didn’t care where they did it, he just wanted to have a reason to talk to him.

“Slytherin,” Draco said in an instant. “It’s safer.”

“How?”

“It just is.”

“Well, what exactly makes it safer?” Harry pressed on, not wanting the conversation to end.

“What’s it to you?” Draco asked giving him an odd look. Harry swallowed, feeling his confidence falter. Perhaps trying to keep the conversation going wasn’t the best idea.

“I was just wondering is all.” Harry shrugged looking towards the lockers. He hated that he wanted to talk endlessly with Draco but when given the chance they only managed to share a few short sentences. He felt a little disappointed when silence fell between the two of them as they continued to trudge through the snow. It wasn’t until they got to Slytherin lockers that Draco spoke up again.

“The reason it’s safer is because..” Draco paused, looking unsure of whether to go on or not. “There are hundreds of silencing charms cast on it.”

“Hundreds?” Harry asked.

“Yes. Anyone who’s ever been on the Slytherin quidditch team has cast a silencing charm. To ensure that no one could eavesdrop on our game plans. It’s kind of a tradition.” Draco said with pride, a genuine smile spreading across his face. Perhaps the blonde wasn’t as bad as he made himself to be now that he was being more open around Harry. Even if it was just a little bit.

A flicker of hope fluttered in Harry’s chest. Maybe there was a chance for them after all.

“That’s.. Genius.” Harry said with awe, smiling at him. They looked at each other for a moment before Draco coughed and pushed open the doors.

“Anyway, come in.” Draco said, letting Harry enter first. 

Harry stepped into the warm room, settling his broom to the side as he looked around. He wasn’t surprised that it looked exactly like Gryffindors' locker room, with the exception that the bright red and yellow colors were replaced with green and silver instead. It also wasn’t surprising that the lockers were much bigger. Harry chuckled to himself. Slytherin just always had to have the best of everything.

“So,” Harry said looking around the room again for any other differences. As he did he kicked off his winter boots and tossed his cloak onto a nearby bench. “Where are we-”

Harry didn’t finish his sentence because Draco grabbed him at that moment and shoved him against the nearest wall. He starting pulling at the strings that held Harry’s quidditch shirt together and once they were loose, he tore it off and tossed it to the side.

“Right here,” Draco said as he started pulling at his own gear. It soon joined Harry’s on the floor, and they were now both half naked. “Right now.”

Harry couldn’t utter a word out before Draco advanced towards him, the dominating look in his eyes kept him frozen in place. He gasped when Draco shoved himself between his legs and he immediately felt the blonde’s hard on pressing against his inner thigh. How long had he been hard for? With a shudder, he bit his lip and shut his eyes. He allowed himself to succumb to the frantic but still delicate touches. His hands seemed to be everywhere, grazing against his hips and sides while Draco’s lips pressed slowly against his collarbone. Every kiss felt hot and wet against his skin, it was exhilarating. It wasn’t long before Harry felt his hormones spreading towards his crotch.

Even though Harry was enjoying himself, it was still a little strange to have the roles reversed on him. He was even beginning to feel nervous about being taken and began tensing up from the anxiousness. The feelings diminished quickly though when Draco scraped his teeth against Harry’s neck causing him to gasp again. Eagerly tilting his head to give him more access, he wrapped his arms around Draco’s neck and his fingers quickly found their way into the blonde’s hair. A low moan erupted from Harry’s lips when Draco kissed underneath his ear.

“Good,” Draco said quietly between kisses, his hands were grabbing at the buttons on his jeans and undoing them, “Just relax. Tell me if anything doesn’t feel good.”

Harry said nothing but nodded, his breathing already becoming ragged. He doubted that anything Draco would do to him would feel bad. All he had done was touch him and kiss his neck and it already felt as if he would burst. Once his jeans were undone Harry wasted no time and kicked them off, leaving him in just his boxers. Draco attacked his neck again, his hands now roaming frantically over Harry’s exposed thighs.

Harry’s breath hitched and his fists clenched when he felt Draco’s warm hand touch his inner thigh where he was sensitive. He gasped loudly when smooth fingers brushed against his hardened manhood. Despite Draco having touched him before it wasn’t anything comparable to this. It felt like his heart would explode with how fast it was beating. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was bottoming this time but if Draco could make him feel like this every time he topped, hell, he’d bottom more often. Anytime. Anywhere.

“Relax,” Draco’s smooth voice said into his ear, slender fingers pulling his boxers down. Harry’s dick sprung free and he hissed at the cold. “It’ll feel better.”

Peeking his eyes open when Draco’s hands disappeared from his body, Harry was just in time to see him opening up his jeans. The blonde didn’t kick them off like Harry did, since he didn’t need too, and lowered his briefs just enough to make his manhood pop out. Harry’s eyes widened at the sight of it and he tensed up again. He had obviously seen Draco’s dick before and knew it fairly well at this point but seeing it now and knowing that it would soon be up in his ass, it looked so much… bigger. And thicker.

“Don’t look so terrified.” Draco chuckled causing Harry to look up at him. “It’s not like you’ve never had it before.”

“I-I know!” Harry flushed, embarrassed he’d been caught staring at it. ”It’s just- I mean, from this point of view, it’s-it’s intimidating is all.”

“Very flattering, Potter,” Draco joked, “but there’s still no reason to be afraid. I don’t intend on hurting you. Well-” his eyes flashed mischievously, “-not intentionally anyway.”

Harry let out a frustrated sigh before nodding, giving him his approval to continue. He flinched when Draco moved to kiss his neck again, shuddering when he touched his sensitive spots. Draco wasted no time and grabbed Harry’s thighs, hoisting him up with ease before securing his legs around his waist. He pressed Harry against the wall to keep him in position and his hand quickly found its way to his groin.

“Hnn!” Harry grunted through clenched teeth when Draco pressed their naked groins against one another. His face flushed when he felt how wet and slick they both were. Tightening his grip, Harry buried his face in the crook of Draco’s neck trying to muffle his moans as to not embarrass himself further. It didn’t work though. Draco gave their erections a squeeze, the hand still on Harry’s thigh squeezed him harder when he started to slowly thrust them against each other.

“Haa..” Harry quietly groaned, tightening his legs, “Go.. go faster.”

Harry tilted his head back against the wall when Draco complied, one hand scratching at the muscular back and the other getting tangled in soft blond hair. He felt teeth scrape over his Adam’s apple and shivered, his nails sinking into Draco’s back. Nothing more was said as they ground against one another for a minute or so. The only noises that filled the room were Harry’s eager moans, although he was more than sure he heard soft gasps spill from Draco’s mouth once or twice. The sounds made all his blood rush towards his groin and it wasn’t long before he was throbbing.

“Malfoy,” Harry murmured. A familiar ache was building up within him. “I think.. I think I’m ready.”

Draco said nothing but seemed to sigh in relief, causing Harry to smirk since he knew he wasn’t a patient man.

The hand wrapped around Harry’s dick disappeared and soon enough fingers were prodding at his entrance. Harry clenched onto Draco harder and tried not to wince in pain while the blonde worked on loosening him up. It was hard though. The burning feeling of being stretched was crawling up his spine and it was very unpleasant. Harry whined quietly when the fingers slipped in and clawed at Draco’s back again, surely he had red marks littering his shoulders by now.

“Relax.” Draco’s smooth voice repeated again as he twisted his fingers, “Just relax.”

“Easy.. for you to say.” Harry grumbled out. He whined again when another jab of pain shot through him.

“Do you remember when you first time we fucked?” Draco asked. Harry felt his face redden at the blunt language but he nodded. How could he ever forget? It was one of the best nights of his life.

“Think about that.” Draco continued, “The positions, the noises, the thrusts, the  _ heat _ . Remember it?”

Harry nodded again, unable to speak as he tried to focus on the lewd memory of Draco riding him instead of the pain spreading through his back. His whole body felt hot the further Draco slid his fingers in. His legs were beginning to tremble at this point but with a few kisses on his neck from Draco, the pain was slowly starting to disperse into a dull ache. It was actually starting to feel good, especially when the tip of Draco’s fingers began to near his untouched prostate.

“Brace yourself.” Draco suddenly murmured.

Harry didn’t even get the chance to acknowledge what he was implying before the fingers up his ass twisted roughly, hitting his prostate spot-on. Harry’s eyes widened, his loud cry getting caught in his throat and he clenched around Draco’s fingers. Spots littered his vision momentarily and his legs nearly gave away.

“Malf-ah! Ah!” Harry gasped out loudly clawing hard at Draco’s back. He didn’t stop and continued his rough pace, grinding his fingers in as deep as he could.

Harry screwed his eyes shut and instinctively arched his back, taking the ruthless fingering. Whatever pain was left was replaced with immense pleasure that soared through him like fire. Harry jolted and gasped with every thrust, not caring how loud or messy he was being. It was pure bliss, better than when he had first taken Draco. Harry felt an orgasm rapidly building up, his muscles were beginning to tense as he neared the edge.

“M-more,  _ please more _ !” He gasped out, his dick throbbing painfully. He was so close.

But the pleasure came to an abrupt halt before he reached his peak and Draco’s fingers were suddenly gone, leaving his hole aching. Harry’s eyes snapped back open and he glared at him, breathing hard.

“What the fu-”

“I’m at my limit,” Draco interrupted harshly. He was also breathing hard and his eyes looked darker. “I need to put it in.”

Harry licked his swollen lips before responding.

“What are you waiting for then?”

Draco smirked and Harry tightened his legs around the blonde’s waist and wrapped his arms around his neck. Harry pressed his face in his shoulder and inhaled deeply to calm himself. His heart was racing and he clenched his hands when he felt Draco’s tip starting to press in. A low moan could be heard from Draco as he slid in.

Harry’s mouth gaped open, no noise coming out as the length was pushed in him slowly. It was much thicker than he had imagined and Harry’s eyes started to water at the feeling of being stretched. Letting out a shaky breath he arched his back like before and gasped loudly when the rest of it slid in with one swift motion. Draco went still to give him time to adjust but Harry felt the grip on his waist tighten. He knew he was ready to move but he said nothing. The only noise was the heavy breathing between the both of them. Harry pressed his lips underneath Draco’s ear and held onto him tightly.

“Move.” Harry whispered though it came out more like a demand.

He didn’t need to ask twice, Draco starting at a slow pace to let him adjust some more before he started going faster. Harder. Much harder. It wasn’t long before he was ramming against Harry’s prostate in a painful but pleasure-filled way.

“Ah! Ahh!” Harry moaned and gasped, scratching down his back, “M-More!” 

He heard Draco mutter a ‘fuck’ under his breath and he repeated the movements, picking up a faster pace and was soon pounding into him harshly. The wall Harry was pressed against creaked loudly as his body was slammed against it over and over again. He didn’t care though, all he could focus on was the waves of pleasures he’d never felt before spreading through his body. It was no wonder Draco wanted to be fucked all the time, it was amazing.

“Hnn! M-Malfoy,  _ Malfoy! _ " Harry gasped and moaned.

Draco was quick to react when his name was called and he pulled Harry’s legs from his waist, shifting them so they rested on his shoulders before shoving himself back in. Both of them groaned loudly when the new position allowed Draco to sink in even deeper. The blonde’s eyes slipped shut for a moment and tilted his head back, a deep moan erupting from his chest. Opening his eyes, he looked at Harry and licked his lips.

“You have a really nice ass, Potter.” Draco panted out, making Harry flush.

Draco picked up the fast and rough pace once more. Fucking him harder. The locker room was filled with more deep throaty moans, screams of pleasure and the wet, slapping of skin. It wasn't long before a familiar heat started forming near Harry’s crotch again. Without thinking, he grabbed onto his own cock and quickly started jerking off, his hand becoming sticky from pre-cum that was bubbling from the tip.

Harry was nearly hyperventilating, his eyes rolling back as he screwed them shut. The waves of pleasure were rocking him to his core. His thighs were burning but he made no attempt to move them, continuing to let himself be taken ruthlessly. He tried telling Draco he was about to come but all the came out was another moan. Draco still seemed to understand what he meant and sunk his length as deep as he could, reaching Harry’s furthest depths.

Harry’s vision spotted when he came, screaming his surname one more time before painting the both of them with his semen. He heard Draco gasp and felt warm liquid fill him. Draco’s thrusts gradually became slower and more gentle. They rode out the orgasm for as long as they could, which Harry was perfectly fine with. He didn’t want the pleasure to end but eventually, Draco slipped out of him. He lowered Harry’s legs, which felt like jelly now and sucked his neck, marking him.

“Holy...fuck.” Harry said, sighing tiredly.

“You’re welcome,” Draco said in a cocky tone. He gave Harry a wink. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”

Harry rolled his eyes but said nothing, too tired. They cleaned themselves up with Harry’s wand before they started to get dressed. Harry fixed his glasses which were sitting crookedly on his face before gathering up his clothing. Slowly, he slipped his boxers and jeans on wincing as he did since his back was already starting to ache. The fall from earlier was no help either. He wondered why Draco wanted to go so many rounds if his back felt like this every time they shagged. Perhaps he was just better at handling the pain than him.

“Is your back hurting?” Draco asked, seeing how slowly Harry was moving.

“Erm, a little.” Harry chuckled sheepishly, feeling a little embarrassed. 

Draco tossed his shirt aside and walked up to Harry, who flushed when he saw how prominent his muscles were when he walked. Harry turned his attention away so he wouldn’t get caught staring but he was sure his red face gave it away. He flinched when fingers touched his lower back and he shut his eyes, burning Draco’s gentle touch into his memory. It felt nice to be touched that way.

Draco traced a circle carefully over Harry’s lower back, pressing into where the pain was. Immediately the ache evaporated and it felt like their rough sex had never happened in the first place. Physically anyway, Harry would certainly be thinking about their interaction for a while.

Sighing in relief, Harry looked at Draco who had his back turned to him and carried on with getting dressed. Harry grabbed his grey sweater and slipped in on, glancing at the watch on his wrist. It was nearly dinner time and he sighed. So much for doing homework. He wondered if Ron and Hermione began looking for him yet.

“So, you can do wandless  _ and  _ nonverbal spells?” Harry asked when the silence between them ensued. Not even Hermione had mastered those skills yet.

“Only a few basic spells but episkey is sort of my specialty,” Draco admitted. His response surprised Harry since he never really opened up about himself.

“Still, that’s-that’s very impressive,” Harry replied, “You knew exactly where to cast it without even asking.”

“Well, I’ve done enough times that it just comes naturally to me now.”

Harry paused getting dressed as the words sunk into his brain. What did Draco mean that he had “done it enough”? His chest suddenly felt tight and a confliction of feelings started bubbling up. The insecurities from this morning wormed their way into his thoughts. Did Draco have some other fling on the side? Harry looked at Draco who still had his back turned to him. There was only one way he’d find out for sure.

“Malfoy,” Harry said his name so quietly he wasn’t sure he heard him. “Are you.. Are you doing this with someone else?”

“What was that?” Draco asked without looking at him, he was fiddling with his tie not noticing the strain in Harry’s voice.

Harry felt anger ripple through him and he screwed his eyes shut, trying to keep himself calm. It felt like he was suffocating like the air had been ripped out from his chest and his stomach had been twisted into painfully tight knots. He let out a slow, shaky breath.

“Are you shagging someone else?” Harry said, much louder than he had intended, “Aside from me?”

Harry stared at Draco, who had paused what he was doing. He looked surprised at first by the sudden question but the emotion vanished quickly and an unreadable expression spread across his face.

“It’s none of your concern Potter.” Draco said so coldly Harry flinched. He turned around again without another word and started gathering up his robes.

Harry felt his blood boil, either from being dismissed and ignored or that his biggest insecurity had been confirmed he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was both. In one quick stride, he was across the room where Draco was who ignored his presence.

“Are you?” Harry repeated the question in a demanding tone.

“I said it wasn’t any of your concern.” Draco said without bothering to look up at him. He shrugged past him but Harry grabbed the bend of his elbow, pulling him back immediately.

“Let go of me.” Draco warned his reaction immediate. He had a foreboding look.

“No,” Harry said flatly, gripping him tighter. “Not until you answer my question.”

“Fuck off.” Draco snapped. He grabbed Harry’s wrist to try and force him off, “Let go of me!”

“Who is it?!” Harry growled still refusing to let go, “Who?!”

“Like I said it’s none of your concern!” Draco repeated for the third time squeezing Harry’s wrist so tight it started to tingle, “Now fucking let go of me!”

“I have a right to know who it is!” Harry yelled. His eyes began to water and a lump was building up in his throat. The thought of Draco with someone else, whether he was sprawled underneath them and moaning out their name or giving them the pleasure he had just given him, it made him feel sick.

“If I decide to fuck somebody else it’s none of your business Potter!” Draco huffed out, fuming as he towered over Harry. “I don’t belong to you!”

The words came out harsh and stung Harry deeply. It was as if he’d been slapped in the face. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. What could he even say? Draco was telling the truth.

Harry let go of him as if he had been burned and turned away quickly so he wouldn’t see his watery eyes. He gathered up the rest of his belongings and stormed out of the locker room, slamming the door behind him without another word. He couldn’t stand to be around Draco for another second. 

It was freezing when he stepped outside and the wind was howling but Harry bit his tongue and trudged through the snow to Gryffindor’s locker room. Once he got there, he tossed his broom across the room in frustration, not caring when it clanged loudly against the lockers. He punched the nearest wooden beam as hard as he could to release his anger. He didn’t stop hitting it until a very sharp pain shot all the way up to his shoulder and his knuckles went numb.

Scowling loudly at his bloody hand, Harry slumped down onto one of the benches and pressed his uninjured hand against his forehead to try to calm himself down. It felt like a void had opened in his chest and was sucking him in. He wanted to throw up. Everything hurt. It hurt so bad. He had just ruined everything. Surely Draco wouldn’t want someone that acted as impulsive and possessive as him. How could he be so stupid? He should’ve just let it go and worked out a way to win him over instead of scaring him off. Draco would certainly run off with whatever git he was shagging now.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Harry cursed to himself yanking at his hair in frustration.

Harry didn’t have time to think because the door to the locker room opened at that moment. Harry looked up and was surprised to see a very angry Draco Malfoy standing at the doorway. He shot Harry a glare and slammed the door shut before casting a silencing spell on the tent.

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked wiping his eyes as he tried to hide his injured hand, “Don’t you have someone else to ‘attend’ to?”

“What the  _ fuck _ is your issue?” Draco said angrily, ignoring his question. He turned back to look at him.

“Nothing,” Harry said bitterly, “Just go away and leave me alone.”

“You’re acting like an immature child.”

“I don’t give a shit about what you think.”

“But apparently you care about who I share my bed with,” Draco shot back, “Apparently you care if I’m fucking someone other than you.”

“I don’t want to talk Malfoy.” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, trying not to explode. All the emotions he’d been holding in were at a breaking point. Another word and they might just spill out.

“Really? Because you were fairly vocal just ten minutes ago.”

Harry tensed up at his words but he bit his tongue, refusing to respond. That didn’t stop Draco and he approached Harry with that same foreboding look. Cold fingers grabbed him sharply by his jaw, forcing him to look up at the blonde. Harry didn’t fight back but he met Draco’s glare despite that he was beginning to tremble under his grip. The ache in his chest was growing rapidly and the lump in his throat was returning.

“Why are you so angry?” Draco demanded eyebrows narrowed.

“What’s it to you?” Harry spat out with the most venomous tone he could manage, “You didn’t care before so why are you starting now?”

Harry saw Draco’s jaw clench and he winced when his grip tightened.

“If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be here,” Draco said firmly.

“Whatever.” Harry said simply, not believing him. He forced himself to look away from Draco’s intense gaze when his eyes began to water. He didn’t want to cry, especially not in front of him.

“Why are you angry?” Draco repeated, his voice was softer, “Answer me. Now.”

“Because I-” Harry screwed his eyes shut, his lip quivering, “Because I fucking like you, you jackass!”

He heard Draco gasp quietly and his grip on him weakened. Taking the opportunity, Harry jerked away from him and weakly shoved him away. He stood up turning his back to Draco, fuming when the tears finally spilled over. Biting his lip and furiously rubbing his eyes with his sleeve, Harry erupted.

“I’ve liked you from the beginning Draco!” Harry nearly shouted Draco’s name felt so good rolling off his tongue. “From the beginning I fancied you and you’re too thick to realize it! I think about you every day! You’re the first thought I have when I wake up in the morning and you’re the reason I sleep so peacefully at night! And-And the thought of you being with someone else, someone touching you or-or..” he  _ tched  _ and clenched his hands despite the pain “-it makes me fucking sick to my stomach. Because I want it to only be me that experiences your touch.”

“I know this isn’t what you want. I’m sorry I-I just-” Harry ‘s voice cracked as he tried to explain, “I tried to stop myself but-I just want-“

He closed his eyes and whispered out desperately.

“I just want you to want me too.“

Silence took over the room and Harry didn’t dare turn his head keeping his eyes shut. He flinched when he heard Draco moving closer and he pressed himself against the nearest wall as if it would protect him. He wanted to disappear.

“Potter,” Draco said quietly, “I-”

He shook his head silencing him. Harry didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear him say that he didn’t want him and that he didn’t feel the same way. It would only make it more painful than it already was. To know that Draco didn’t want him or feel the same way.

A smooth hand suddenly touched his cheek making Harry jump. It was a gentle touch almost affectionate. Startled, he opened his eyes finally facing Draco. He was looking at him with a soft expression on his face. It didn’t look like pity but more like empathetic. A blush crept onto his cheeks when he realized how close they were and he blushed even harder when Draco pressed their foreheads together, looking deeply into his eyes. This time he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Not when he was looking at him like that.

“What are you-” Harry asked breathlessly, trying to think. They were so close. “-doing?”

"Shut up.." Draco said thumbing over the bottom of his lip to silence him. He tilted Harry’s head up. “Just.. shut up Potter.”

Draco leaned in and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! The next chapter is in progress so please be patient, thanks again! Follow me on Tumblr at 23ster for sneak peeks of this story! Reviews/kudos are appreciated.


	4. Bittersweet

“Have you finished your conclusion yet Ron?” Hermione asked without looking up from her parchment. She was busy looking over the paragraph she had re-written for the third time, making sure to have included all twelve known uses for dragon blood. Snape had mentioned he’d reward extra points if they were all  _ properly _ listed and she was determined to get them.

“Nearly,” Ron said tiredly. He looked at his watch. “Can we go now? Dinner is in a half hour.”

“Almost,” Hermione said. She glanced at the open book beside her before looking at her paper again. “Do you think Professor Snape will give extra credit if I include hypothetical uses for dragon blood?”

“Who cares what he thinks?” Ron sighed. He leaned back in his chair, tapping the table impatiently with his thumbs. “I’m starving. Let’s go.”

“If you want to go you’re more than welcome to leave,” Hermione said scribbling away, “I’ll meet you and Harry there soon.”

“Dunno if he’s there yet,” Ron mumbled. He rested his head on his folded arms. “He said he’d come here after practice but he’s probably still out on the pitch.”

Hermione said nothing but gripped her quill tighter at the mention of Harry. She was still sore about their little spat from that morning but was stubbornly refusing to talk to him. Last month she’d been trying to understand the relationship, if you could call it that, between him and Malfoy. Out of everyone, why him? Had Harry forgotten all the horrid things he had done to them over the years? Hermione’s tongue touched her front teeth delicately, remembering the embarrassment Malfoy had given her when he made her teeth grow. What was it about him that was so interesting?

_ He’s different, there’s so much more to him. _

That’s what Harry had told her when she confronted him. Even though she was bitter, angry, and hurt, she believed him. And she hated that she did. Harry had always had a sixth sense when it came to reading people and he was usually right. If he said that there was something underneath Malfoy’s cold exterior then Hermione believed him even though she didn’t want to. 

A sigh escaped her lips. She relaxed the tight grip on her quill and rested her head on her free hand. Now that she thought about it she’d been acting harshly since she found out and belittled Malfoy whenever he was brought up. Hermione had seen the way Harry’s eyes lit up when he spoke about him or when she caught him staring at the blonde in class and as awful as it sounded, she was trying to stamp it out and bring him to his senses. She’d told herself that it was to protect Harry since his affections were one-sided but it was actually for her own grudge that she held against Malfoy. Regardless of how she felt, it wasn’t right. She’d done nothing but turn Harry away. 

Hermione sighed again and glanced at Ron, who had dozed off and was resting his head on his arms still. Her heart raced the longer she looked at him and she subconsciously squeezed her hand.

Was this how Harry felt when he looked at Malfoy? 

She shook her head. The only know if she’d know for sure would be to actually talk to Harry instead of jumping to conclusions. They needed to talk, properly. It was about time they did.

“Ron,“ Hermione gently shook him, “I’m finished, let’s go.”

Ron grumbled under his breath and lifted his head. Hermione started organizing her papers and books, putting them neatly into her bag while he just shoved everything into his. He stood up, taking their books back to Madam Pince. Hermione rolled her eyes as he walked away. It was no wonder he could never find anything. Pulling her heavy bag over her shoulder, Hermione gathered up the last few books remaining on the table and followed after Ron, who was waiting for her at the doorway. She thanked the grouchy librarian quickly for her advice before they left the library.

“I can’t believe we spent the whole evening in the library,” Ron groaned rubbing his face, “I’ve had no time to practice for quidditch at all this month. Angelina will kill me if we lose our first game.”

“You’ll do just fine,” Hermione reassured him. “The game is still a month away and Harry will help you.”

“I hope so.” Ron sighed. “So, are you still mad at Harry?”

“I’m not mad, I’m just vaguely annoyed.”

“So mad.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and hugged her books tighter to her chest. “I just wish he took better care of himself. He just-he hasn’t been his usual self you know?”

“I know but he does seem happier. When was the last time we ever really saw him happy like this?” Ron asked looking at her. “Because I can’t remember.”

“I can’t remember either.” Hermione answered honestly. Harry’s life was always being threatened one way or another and he always seemed stressed. Was Malfoy his escape for that?

“Exactly,” Ron continued, “If Harry is happy then we should be happy for him. I mean he’d be happy for us if we started dating.”

Both of them froze when the words left Ron’s mouth. He looked at Hermione, the tips of his ears turning scarlet red and his eyes wide. Hermione felt her face heating up and she looked down, hoping her bushy hair would cover her blush.

“I-I mean-!” Ron stuttered loudly, gesturing wildly, “I didn’t mean it like  _ that! _ Not that-that you’re not prett-I mean-!”

“I see you’re still as rowdy as ever Ron.” A voice from behind them said.

Hermione looked up, instantly recognizing the voice and a smile spread across her face.

“Cedric!” She said, beaming up at him. “You’re back!”

“Blimey, how’ve you been?!” Ron said, clasping his shoulder, “It’s been ages mate!”

Cedric laughed softly, a warm smile on his face. He hadn’t changed a bit, still as handsome as ever. It looked like he grew another inch or two. That or Hermione had shrunk a few.

“Yeah it’s been a while hasn’t it?” Cedric said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m doing alright I suppose. How has fifth year been treating you two?”

“It’s fantastic!” Hermione buzzed with excitement.

“Stressful..” Ron scowled, flicking his Prefect badge.

“I can imagine that being Prefects doesn’t make it any easier. Fifth-year is surely a handful but I have no doubt you’ll pass your O.W.L.s” Cedric smiled at Hermione, “Especially if you have the smartest witch in all of Hogwarts helping you.”

“Well, maybe not  _ all _ of Hogwarts but I’ll take the compliment,” Hermione said, feeling flattered. She didn’t miss the annoyed look in Ron’s face but ignored it. “When did you get back?”

“Today,” Cedric said, “Well, a few hours ago actually. I was catching up with friends and whatnot but I needed a break, too much attention for my liking. I was actually looking for Harry earlier, apparently, he’s been trying to get ahold of me?”

“Yes he has been,” Hermione replied, stiffening a little. She and Ron looked at each other. Neither wanted to bring up the tournament but it looked like Hermione would have to. “Things since the..the tournament have caused a lot of rumors. I think-well, we think-”

“We think Harry needs some support from someone that went through the same thing he did,” Ron finished for her, “He hasn’t been himself and we’re worried for him. It’s like he’s..lost. Like he doesn’t know where to go from here.”

Hermione bit her lip while Cedric nodded along, a serious look on his face. It looked like he was thinking things over.

“I’ll talk to him,” he finally said, “Do you know where I can find him?”

“He’s likely at the pitch,” Ron answered, “Said he wanted to practice as much as he could and knowing him he probably lost track of the time.”

“He could already be at dinner.” Hermione said.

“With Angelina at his heels? I doubt it.”

“I can check the pitch and we can meet you at the Hall later,” Cedric offered, nudging his head towards the Hall. “I reckon Ron’s hungry, I can hear his stomach grumbling from here.”

“M-maybe I am a little.” Ron chuckled, embarrassed.

“I’ll go with you if you don’t mind,” Hermione said to Cedric, “I need to talk to Harry anyway. We had a bit of a spat this morning and I’d like to make up with him.”

“Don’t mind at all,” Cedric replied, smiling, “Let’s go then?”

“We’ll see you at dinner Ron.” Hermione said with a wave and she followed after Cedric, not waiting for a response.

The two walked down the hall together, chatting about school. Hermione wanted to ask about the tournament but decided not to. From what Harry had told her Cedric had gone through enough and it felt wrong to ask him such personal things when she didn’t know him as well. Instead, she took the opportunity to ask Cedric questions about some of the courses she was in, trying to get a better perspective on what their O.W.L.s would be like at the end of the year.

“Everyone is a bit dramatic when it comes to O.W.L.'s,” Cedric explained, “As long as you study well in advance you have nothing to worry about. The hardest part of the exam is trying to remember all the minor details, especially when it comes to potions. Don’t skip any of the steps when they ask to list them.”

“That’s a relief,” Hermione said with a sigh. “I know the exams are well off but Fred and George were giving my anxiety about it. I couldn’t tell if they were messing with me or not.”

“Sounds like something they’d do,” Cedric chuckled, “Have you decided what career you want to pursue? Since you’re taking so many key courses you have a quite a range to pick from.”

“I talked to McGonagall about it but I still haven’t decided yet,” Hermione answered, her gaze shifting elsewhere, “There’s just so many to pick from and I enjoy all of my courses, it’s hard to pick just  _ one.. _ ”

The wizarding world was full of so many opportunities, far more than she could’ve ever dreamed of. To have the courses she took now affect her future career made her anxious and she decided to play it safe encase she changed her mind later on.

“Oi, is that Malfoy?” Cedric’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

Hermione looked up in time to see him nodding his head towards the end of the hall that led to the pitch. Sure enough, it was Malfoy, the unique blonde hair was hard to miss. An uneasy feeling starting building up in Hermione’s stomach. He couldn’t be returning from the pitch.. could he?

“Looks like he just came back from the pitch, we should ask if he’s seen Harry,” Cedric said, picking up the pace, “So we won’t have to walk all the way there for nothing if he’s not there.”

“I don’t think that’s a good-”

“Malfoy!” Cedric called not having heard her. He rushed up to the blonde who surprisingly paused when he saw him. Hermione approached the two with caution since Malfoy looked angry. The usual cocky smirk he wore was replaced with a deep scowl and narrowed eyes.

“What do you want Diggory?” he spat, his voice laced with venom. Hermione tried not to flinch when he looked at her darkly. “Actually I don’t care so sod off.”

“Wait, hold on a sec.” Cedric said firmly, putting an arm in front of him. This time Hermione flinched when Malfoy looked at the brunette like he would tear his arm off. The Hufflepuff was completely unphased though. 

“We’re looking for Harry-” He continued. Malfoy tensed immediately, “-have you seen him?”

“NO!” Malfoy snapped angrily, brushing past Cedric roughly. “Now fuck off!”

Malfoy stormed off with a huff and the uneasy feeling in Hermione’s stomach tightened. She caught sight of a mark on the back of his neck and silently wished that it wasn’t what she thought it was. But if he was coming from the pitch then Hermione already knew what events likely unfolded. After all, it explained why Harry hadn’t shown up. It didn’t explain Malfoy’s anger though.

“ _ Unless.. _ ” Hermione sucked in her breath. Had something happened between them?

“What’s the hell is his issue?” Cedric asked, looking at her confused. “He’s pissier than I remember.”

“We need to go.” Hermione cast a spell and shrunk the books she was carrying before tossing them into her robe pocket.

“What?”

“We need to go right now!” She repeated before running off without waiting for Cedric. Her steps echoed loudly as she sprinted down the hall to the path that led to the pitch. She heard Cedric call from behind but didn’t pause. She was focused on getting to Harry.

_ “Please,”  _ she pleaded to no one in particular,  _ “Please let Harry be ok.” _

* * *

Draco tasted sweet, like a raspberry treacle tart.

That was the first thing Harry noticed when he unexpectedly kissed him. The second thing he did was kiss him back because  _ holy Merlin Draco was fucking kissing him. _

Even though they had already kissed once, it was different than before. So very different. It was full of feelings he couldn't identify nor could he find words to explain. It was the feeling he had when he first discovered he was a wizard. Warm. Whatever that feeling was, it was making his heart pound so hard he was certain it would erupt within his chest. Harry’s toes curled in delight when Draco tilted his head to deepen the kiss. The heat from his mouth was engulfing him. It soared through him like fire.

Just when he didn’t think things could get any better, Draco surprised him by biting his lower lip. Gently but firmly enough to make it tingle and to make him gasp. He licked over it teasingly, and Harry quickly understood what he was getting at. Parting his lips slightly, Draco slid his tongue in. Harry’s heart skipped a beat and the warmth in his chest grew. He shivered again while Draco’s tongue carefully explored every part of his mouth.

A whine escaped Harry’s throat when Draco suddenly sucked on his tongue harshly before breaking their mouths apart, a string of saliva connecting their lips. Not a second later, Draco was pressing their mouths together again. It was pure bliss.

The kiss continued and Harry was beginning to get light-headed. Whether it was from the feeling spreading through his chest or because of the lack of oxygen, he didn't know but he didn’t care. Harry let out another soft whine when Draco broke the kiss again but he needed to breathe. Harry licked his lips which felt swollen and opened his eyes, his legs feeling like they’d turned into jelly.

Despite the warmth in his chest, Harry was also nervous. He was still waiting for a response from Draco about his confession. It scared him that he had admitted his feelings impulsively but now that they shared this kiss, he didn't care. Harry liked him, a lot. He possibly loved him. If there was a chance, no matter how small, that Draco felt what he felt, Harry would fight for it. For them. For Draco.

Draco looked up at him, his eyes half-lidded as his breathing slowed, his eyes glazed and his cheeks tinged pink again. He looked so beautiful.

_ " _ I-” he started, touching his injured hand gently, “Harry, I-”

Harry didn’t get to hear him finish because a sharp pain emitted from his skull the second his name left Draco's lips. He quickly clutched at his head, letting out a strangled gasp. Draco seemed to be shouting at him his lips moving but no noise was coming out like he had been muted. He only heard a high pitched ringing. Harry felt himself becoming extremely dizzy, his vision beginning to become splotchy and he felt his legs give away from underneath him. Voices came pouring in all at once, making it hard to understand anything being said. The last thing he saw was Draco reaching for him before everything went black altogether.

" _ There’s something..different. Something different going on with-” _

_ "Exactly, what is that you want from me? Because-" _

_ "Please, please don't. I don’t want to go back-" _

Harry gasped loudly again as he jolted back awake seconds after. He sat upright immediately but he soon regretted it. The quick action made his head throb and he felt dizzy all over again. He panicked for a brief moment when he couldn’t see, not realizing where he was at first but everything came flooding back when he saw Draco at his side, he had his glasses in his hand.

Shakily, Harry took them from him and put them back on. He touched his head, confused. What had he just experienced? Was it Voldemort?

"What..the fuck," Harry mumbled, more to himself, "was that?.." He rubbed his temple gently, trying to ease the headache that was forming.

It wasn’t like he never experienced these type of things before, being linked to Voldemort had its cons but he was sure it wasn’t him this time. To Harry, it felt like waking up from a dream but not remembering much about it. He couldn’t remember what he had heard, the voices were already forgotten.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked. Harry could hear his voice shaking. "Why did you suddenly throw a fit?"

Nodding slowly, Harry sighed, looking up at him, "Yes, I'm fine.. I'm sorry, I don't know what that was, I've never experienced something like that before.."

"What exactly did you experience?"

"I'm not sure.." Harry said with a shrug, "I heard different voices, saying different things but it was hard to understand them. They all came out garbled together. Now I can't remember anything that was said, it all just vanished."

Draco didn't respond after that and stayed silent. He seemed to be tense, his shoulders hunched up and his hands were clenched tightly. He was staring hard at the ground with a blank expression. The look made Harry uneasy.

"Draco?" Harry said, trying to get him to look at him, "Are you alright?"

He reached out to him but Draco pulled away before he could touch him and stood up. Harry looked up at him, confused by his cold actions but eventually stood up as well. He nearly fell down again because his legs were still feeling wobbly but he managed to keep himself upright.

"Draco?.." He tried again. He was beginning to feel a little nervous, and not in a good way.

"If this is.." Harry paused, trying not to sound hurt, "..about what I said earlier.. I'm sorry, it sort of just slipped out and-"

"I think we should stop seeing each other." Draco finally said.

Harry physically felt his heart crack in two.

"What?" was all Harry managed to say, Draco's words echoing in his head. A nauseating feeling was beginning to overwhelm him. His stomach was twisting and he was beginning to tremble, his heart was pounding again but it was hurting more and more with every beat.

"I'm saying," Draco turned to look at him, at last, "that this is over."

Instead of the soft look he’d been looking at Harry with just moments ago, it was replaced with a stony expression. There was no hint whatsoever of what he was thinking, no light in the dark grey eyes or body movement Harry could read. Even his hands were unclenched, relaxed as they lay limp at his sides. Draco had become unreadable in a matter of seconds and had shut Harry out.

"You can't," Harry started, his voice shaking, "You can't do this to me.."

"Actually, I can." Draco said coldly, not blinking once, "And I will."

"You CAN'T!" Harry suddenly shouted, breathing hard as his chest heaved up and down. "Don't you realize how much I li-"

"I do, Potter," Draco said, making Harry flinch at the use of his surname, "And I can’t return those feelings. I don't want to give you any sense of false hope is all so what better thing to do then to end this? It won't go where you want it to."

"You're lying..." Harry said angrily, "You kissed me.  _ You _ fucking kissed  _ me,"  _ he challenged him, "You can't say you didn't feel the same things I did. I don't believe it.  _ I can't believe it." _

Harry tasted the metallic taste of blood in his mouth, he had bitten his cheek too hard.

"I had to be sure. That’s the only reason why I kissed you," Draco said, "Just forget that it happened, that all of this," he gestured to Harry and himself, "between us happened."

"I can’t-I can’t just walk away!" Harry shouted angrily, "You can't just expect me to forget everything. I did EVERYTHING you wanted. And this-this is how it's going to end?! You aren't even going to give me,  _ us,  _ a chance?!"

"No, I'm not." Draco said before adding on, "It's not as if this was going to last forever between us. I said before it was just sex, and nothing has changed."

The words wounded him deeply but Harry couldn't bring himself to back down. He  _ couldn't,  _ not when he had been so close..

"Please," Harry tried again, taking a step towards Draco, who immediately took a step back. He tried to stroke his cheek again, to kiss him again, to show him that it could work. “Please don't do this."

Draco moved away before they made contact and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry Potter, but it's over."

That was the last thing Draco said before he turned away and left, not once looking back.

Harry stood there, his arm still outstretched, flinching when the door slammed shut. He fell down to his hands and knees, trying to comprehend what just happened. He stared blankly at the ground, his hands clenching. Slowly, his breathing became more ragged and then he was gasping for air. He had just  _ lost  _ Draco. Before he knew it, he was sobbing uncontrollably, his body shaking with each cry. Harry punched at the ground in anger multiple times with his already swollen hand. The pain was awful but at the same time, he preferred the stinging pain erupting in his arm rather than the pain erupting in his chest.

Even though he eventually stopped crying, Harry was still struggling to breathe properly. It felt like he was suffocating and would throw up any second. Without thinking, he clawed at his throat desperately with his uninjured hand, trying to rip off the invisible hands he felt there. They clenched harder.

“Harry?!”

Harry looked up, still gasping. Hermione’s blurry figure was standing in the doorway, her face flushed and hair looking wild. He tried to say something but his words got trapped in his tight throat. He looked at Hermione with a pleading expression, trying to speak with his eyes.

“ _ Help me. _ ”

She was at his side the next instant.

"He did something to you, didn’t he?" Hermione stated, her eyes darkening when she saw his bloody hand. "What did he do?  _ What did he do to you _ ?"

“Oi! What’s happened?!”

Harry glanced behind her and saw Cedric stumbling in. When had he returned? They met eyes for a brief moment but Hermione’s bushy hair got in the way and broke their connection. The hands around his throat however loosened and he gasped for the breath his lungs desperately needed.

“Malfoy’s done something to him, his hand looks like it’s just been smashed!” Her voice shook with rage. Cedric sprinted over and kneeled down, examining the bloodied hand carefully. Harry winced when he touched it but said nothing, his throat aching too much. His head was starting to hurt.

“Look’s broken,” Cedric said softly and Hermione visibly bristled like a cat, “We’ll have to take him to Pomfrey.”

“Did he do anything else to you?” She asked, her eyes rapidly moving over his features for any other wounds.

Harry opened his mouth but no words came out. It felt like his lungs were on fire. He looked away and closed his eyes tightly, forcing himself to swallow the lump in his throat.

"He," Harry said shakily, his eyes quickly became watery again, "h-he didn’t..."

“What? He didn’t what?”

"He didn’t like me back."

The room got quiet and Harry bit his lip, the urge to cry was building up again. He tried to contain it but the heartbreak suddenly hit him all over again and once more he began to cry. It started off with a few tears but vastly escalated. His body shook with every silent sob and he felt sicker than he ever had before. It was like dementors had sucked all the happiness from him and every bad feeling he ever had in his life was hitting him all at once. But there was no spell to help Harry now or make it go away, no form of magic could help a broken heart.

Hermione said nothing but hugged Harry, squeezing him tightly as she wrapped her arms around him protectively. Harry clung to her with his free hand and he held onto her robes tightly as if his life were in danger. It wasn’t long before Harry felt the hands around his throat return and this time he really couldn’t breathe. He began to hyperventilate. His chest heaving up and down as he struggled to breathe. Screwing his eyes shut, Harry tried to grab at his throat again but Hermione’s hands immediately stopped him.

“Harry, Harry listen to me!” Hermione said shakily as he continued to breathe raggedly. “I think-I think you’re having a severe anxiety attack! You’ll pass out if don’t calm down!”

Calm down? How could he calm down? His heart had just been shredded into a million pieces. Everything hurt: his hand, his chest, his throat, everything was in pain-

“Harry,” Cedric’s deep voice interjected, it went through his body like a warm chill. He felt his warm hands firmly grab his shoulders that shook him gently. “Look at me.”

He opened his eyes to find Cedric looking at him. He realized that his eyes were a light grey color, just like Draco’s. Immediately Harry shut his eyes again, unable to look at him directly. He tried to turn away but Cedric grabbed his face and held him firmly in place.

"Harry, please look at me," He shook his head quickly, "Then listen to my voice, listen  _ only  _ to my voice. It's just you and me. The rest of the world? It doesn't exist right now. Follow after me ok?" He gave a slow nod.

"Inhale."

He took in a sharp breath.

"And exhale."

He shakily breathed out.

After several minutes of inhaling and exhaling slowly, the hands disappeared and Harry was able to breathe. A few stray tears continued to roll down his face and he sniffled loudly. Cedric wrapped an arm around him after he calmed down and Hermione sat silently next to him, stroking his hand.

"Shh, I know, I know it hurts..” he whispered, “Calm down, you'll make yourself even sicker.."

Harry couldn't stop although, he didn't care about his health or his well-being. The only thing he cared about was Draco and a life with him, but it was all gone within a few moments, all because he had to go and admit his feelings and fuck everything up. If Harry had just kept quiet and just went along with it, Draco would be with him tonight, they would be together, maybe not in the way Harry wanted but  _ they would still be together _ .

Instead, he was utterly alone with a gaping hole in his chest and was crying his problems out to Cedric and Hermione in the Quidditch locker-rooms.

"Anyone would be lucky to have you Harry.." Cedric said calmly, "Someday someone will care for you just as much.."

"But why didn't  _ he _ ?" Harry asked in a raspy voice, shaking," I did everything he wanted.. I thought he m-might..but he didn't.."

He didn’t finish and let out a shaky sigh. He thought of all the time he spent with Draco and how he had taken it for granted. Draco curling up to him in his sleep, his pleads for pleasure, his smartass comments, his cocky smirk and the first true kiss that they had shared only half an hour ago. The way he moved his mouth against Harry's, the way he tasted and how he seemed desperate for more of Harry's touch. And then he thought of Draco turning away from him, pushing him away and telling him how he didn't feel the same.

**_“I think we should stop seeing each other.”_ **

That was the last thing Harry thought of before he felt a wand press against his temple and everything went black. 

* * *

Hermione lowered her wand once Harry’s eyes glazed over and he lost consciousness. The sleeping spell was the only thing she could think of that would help him stay calm. For now anyway. Who knew what he would be like when he woke up.

“So,” Cedric said quietly, “Malfoy and Harry?”

“That’s not my story to tell,” she said lowering her gaze, “You’ll have to ask Harry about that when he wakes up.”

“I understand,” he said and changed the subject, “We need to get him to Pomfrey’s. I’ll carry him there.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I want to,’ Cedric said looking at her, “He saved my life that night in the graveyard. The least I can do is carry him to the hospital wing.”

Hermione said nothing but nodded, giving in. She helped Cedric put Harry on his back. He lifted him up with ease but it was no surprise as Cedric was a fit quidditch player. Together they left the locker rooms and made their way back to the castle trying not to slip on the icy path. Hermione glanced at Cedric as they walked, wondering what he was thinking but she remained quiet, more concerned about Harry.

“You won’t say anything will you?” She asked, “Harry’s not exactly.. Out yet. If you know what I mean.”

“Of course not,” Cedric said looking at her, “I swear, my lips are sealed about this.”

“Thank you.” Hermione replied, feeling relieved. It felt good to share this secret with someone instead of having to shoulder it herself. However, she refrained from speaking about it. Like she had said, it was Harry’s story to tell not hers.

“Does Ron know?” Cedric asked as they neared the castle.

“No, only I did. And now you.”

“Better come up with a good excuse then,” he said with a huff, nodding his head towards the windows, “I think I just saw Ron heading this way. You gonna tell him what happened?”

Hermione looked up just in time to see the doors open, wincing at the bright light that poured out from the halls. Ron’s red hair and his lanky figure were unmistakable. He looked at Harry lying limp on Cedric’s back and ran down hurriedly, the look of worry etched upon his face. Hermione let out a sigh and braced herself for the dozens of questions he would ask. She glanced at Harry’s peacefully sleeping face and everything they’d been through flashed through her mind and the several times Harry had protected her.

“No,” she answered. “No, I’m not.”

It was time for her to protect him.


	5. Suffocating

**Chapter 5: Suffocating**

* * *

_"I don't hate you. At least not like-"_

_"We're better as a team, together we can-"_

" _Wait, wait, don't do-"_

Harry woke with a start, his eyes snapping open. He sat up quickly, his head throbbing as the voices faded away to distant echoes. He was breathing heavily and was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his shirt clinging to his body. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest wildly. Pushing his sweaty bangs back, he gulped down a mouthful of air to fill his empty lungs. Glancing around the fuzzy but all too familiar looking room, he realized he was in the hospital wing. Hadn't he been in the locker rooms just a moment ago? When had he gotten here? Where were Hermione and Cedric?

Scrambling for the oil lamp that sat on the nightstand beside his bed, he hissed when a jolt of pain shot up his arm and quickly pulled it close to him. Squinting in the dark, he saw his hand was bandaged up and had been placed in a cast, immobilizing it. Great. He'd broken his own hand.

Shaking his head at his stupidity, Harry used his other hand and turned the lamp to a higher setting to see better. His glasses were perched next to it and he grabbed them, putting them on. Once his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room, he realized there was a glass of water on the stand too and with no hesitation he grabbed it. The cold drink was finished in mere seconds as he chugged it down, his throat burning from thirst.

When there was not a single drop left, Harry let out the breath he'd been holding. Wiping his mouth, he glanced around the hospital room. There were rows of empty white beds that were all untouched, except for one that was beside him. They were hidden under the covers only moving when they breathed. He squinted again, trying to see if he could recognize them but it was too dark so he decided not to pay any mind to them. There were only a few lit candles, already faint from burning for so long, and a faint light in Madam Pomfrey's office. Harry assumed it was the middle of the night since there was no clock in the hospital wing. The moon glowing outside proved him to be right.

Feeling a sense of calm go through him, Harry sunk back into the soft pillows and sighed tiredly. He carefully touched his temple, tracing the lightning bolt scar that was there. Whatever had been in the water seemed to have been laced with something as both his headache and tension were gone. Harry turned onto his side and set the empty glass back on the nightstand before rolling onto his back to think about how he'd gotten here.

Cedric and Hermione must've taken him to the hospital wing last night after he blacked out. Even though Harry knew they were worried he still felt a little agitated about being in the hospital wing. Last night wasn't his best moment, anyone could've seen that but he didn't want word to get out that he'd landed up here. People would see his hand and it wouldn't be long before the wild rumors would start. It's not as if he cared what others thought, it was just last night had been a bit more personal and the idea of being outed made his stomach turn. It wasn't something he wanted to deal with right now.

Harry shoved that fear out of his head quickly and instead examined his hand again. He couldn't believe he had broken it. Perhaps Hermione was right to make such a fuss about it. He could already hear her scolding him for not taking care of himself and for being reckless, and so on. He could also see Ron's worried face, and fighting with Madam Pomfrey to try and convince her to let them stay with him overnight. Thinking about his friends made his chest ache if only he could have them there with him. He needed them more than ever.

The person beside him suddenly snorted loudly, breaking his chain of thoughts. Harry turned his head in their direction with an annoyed look. Honestly, didn't wizards hear about nose strips for sleeping? He was about to turn away when he realized, he knew that snore.

"..Ron?" Harry whispered sitting up.

He received no kind of response but Ron was a deep sleeper. Harry tried to get out of bed but his lower body was aching so he was forced to stay put. Licking his lips, he tried once more.

"Ron!" He said in a loud whisper, shooting a glance over his shoulder at Madam Pomfrey's office to make sure she hadn't heard him.

After several more attempts of harsh whispers and even trying to reach the bed by stretching his arms out, Harry launched a pillow at the form as hard as he could, which seemed to do the trick. The person snorted at the impact and shuffled around before slowly pulling their cover off. Even in the dim lighting, Harry could still see the unmistakable ginger hair sticking up in odd directions and knew that it could only belong to his best mate.

Ron turned his head towards Harry slowly and he heard a muffled  _"bloody hell_." He was quick to move when he saw he was awake and he rubbed his eyes, yawning loudly.

"Harry, you're awake!" He said in a groggy but relieved whisper, stifling another yawn before hurriedly asking, "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," Harry admitted. "I feel like I got into a fist fight with the Whomping Willow."

"Mm, I can imagine what that must feel like." Ron grimaced, thinking about their second year. "But what the fuck happened last night? Why didn't you come back from the Quidditch pitch? Hermione and Cedric were going to look for you but when I almost to the hall I got this awful feeling. Then I saw Malfoy and he was wearing quidditch gear and"-Harry froze at the mention of Draco, everything coming back to him in a rush-"Hermione said they hadn't seen him at the pitch but I swear on my life if he laid a finger on you, Harry, I'll hex him so hard his snobbish children will feel it."

Harry's eyes began to water but he blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling. He shook his head, clearing his throat as he came up with an excuse.

"No, he-he wasn't there. At least not from what I can remember." Harry lied, gripping the bedsheets in front of him tightly. The lump in his throat was growing. He tried to swallow it but it was clenching his throat so much it was starting to become harder to breathe.

"Then what happened? Hermione said she didn't know and that they found you having some sort of anxiety attack," Ron explained, "Does it have to do with your girlfriend?"

Harry nodded, unable to speak. He couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"Did the two of you have a row?"

He shrugged.

"Harry.." Ron's voice was softer now, "Did.. Did the two of you split?"

He tensed and hesitated at first, then nodded. The tight feeling in his throat wasn't going away so Harry blew out a shaky breath, trying to remember what Cedric had told him. The feeling went away and he was able to breathe again. Ron was silent as he did this and eyed him warily. He only spoke up again when Harry let go of the sheets.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Merlin, no," Harry said with a shake of his head. He certainly wasn't ready to talk about that and Ron didn't push any further, respecting his space. There was another moment of silence before Harry regained control of himself. Rubbing his eyes, he coughed and spoke up, trying to get his mind off of Draco.

"A-Anyway, what happened?" Harry asked, his voice tight, "The last thing I remember is talking to Hermione and Cedric and then I woke up here.."

"Well after they brought you in Hermione said she'd put you under a sleeping spell, figured it was the best way to help you calm down," Ron explained. There was a vague sound of disappointment in his voice and Harry felt a swarm of guilt. "So we brought you here, well Cedric did, he's a lot stronger then he looks. Hermione and I just followed along. Pomfrey was really upset when she looked you over. Said you'd broken a few knuckles in your hand and had a bit of a fever. She wanted you to stay the night just to be safe but you can leave tomorrow morning if you're feeling better."

"Great," Harry said sarcastically as he looked at his hand, "Angelina is gonna kill me."

"Fuck Angelina!" Ron snapped not caring if Pomfrey heard, "Why didn't you talk to us, Harry? We've always had your back, you know that and you lied to us about being ok these past few weeks. We're not your best friends for nothing and we want to be able to help you in any way we can."

"I know, I'm sorry, truly I am, the last thing I wanted to do was worry you two.." Harry sighed looking at his hands, "I honestly didn't realize how bad I was getting and you're right, I should've gone to talk to you and Hermione about it.."

This was a huge mess and it was his fault. Being with Draco was not only affecting him but his relationship with his friends and others around him. Hermione was right about what he had been doing, it was unhealthy. He thought about all the should'ves, could'ves, and would'ves but those didn't matter now. What's done was done and now he had to try and fix his mistakes.

Suddenly his bed shifted, and Harry turned. He was surprised to see Ron was sitting on his bed.

"Look," he started, "What matters is you're okay. That's what really matters to us. And even if you aren't, that's alright too because we'll be here regardless."

He held out a fisted hand to Harry.

"Still friends?"

Harry smiled and bumped Ron's fist with his own.

"Best friends, as if you need to question that you over-dramatic bloke."

"You're one to talk about drama. Your life is like a book series." Ron retorted messing up his already messy hair before going back to his own bed and clambering back in.

Harry chuckled, but his laughter vanished quickly when he took a double glance at Ron, realizing something he hadn't before. His hair wasn't messy as he had previously thought, there was something on top of his head.

"Ron.. What the hell is in your hair?" Harry asked, gesturing to his head.

"Oh, these?" Ron pushed his hair back to show small antlers sticking out of his head. They were small, only about an inch long but still noticeable. "Pomfrey wasn't letting me or Hermione stay here with you because "Neither of you has an injury." he said in a high pitched tone that mimicked Pomfrey, "So I convinced Cedric to do the anteocultia hex on me since Hermione refused to."

"Anteocultia hex?" Harry mumbled, his eyes widening a fraction, "You mean you grew-"

"Antlers? Yeah, it hurt like hell I'll have you know. They were a lot larger than this. If I were a deer I would've been king of the forest," he joked while flicking one gently, "They were much heavier too, nearly snapped my neck when they appeared. Pomfrey was  _pissed_ since the only way to get rid of them is to reverse the hex which makes them grow backward until they disappear. So she had no choice but to let me stay the night also."

Ron smiled proudly, looking a little smug. Harry smiled back, flattered that he had gone to such lengths to be able to stay with him. He was lucky to have a friend like him, incredibly lucky.

"Thanks, Ron.. I mean you didn't have to do that.." Harry said softly, "I can't imagine the pain though.."

"You're my best friend Harry, why wouldn't I?" Ron asked, "And it wasn't so bad. It just felt like a really bad headache that just so happened to grow out of your head. It's more of an annoying itch now."

"Well when you put it that way, maybe I can imagine it." Harry said, rubbing the side of his head.

"I guess so. Well, get some sleep. You need your rest and frankly, so do I." Ron said as he pulled the covers over him once more but not before he threw Harry's pillow back at him, "Night Harry."

"Night Ron."

Harry turned over and pulled the covers over him, trying to get some sleep but his mind drifted back to Draco again.

_**"I don't think we should see each other anymore."** _

Harry felt the pain in his heart grow and it slowly cut deeper into his chest, the void that was there swallowing him. Not wanting to wake up Ron, Harry grit his teeth when hot tears began to form into his eyes. He let them fall and forced himself to hold in the screams that were building up in his throat. Harry gripped the sheets tighter, burying his face into the pillow and he soon began to feel emotions he hadn't felt in a long time begin to resurface as they tried to numb him from feeling pain. Hurt, confusion, depression, rejection but above all,  _anger._ Harry let out a shaky breath as he let himself push away the hurt and pain, his mind focusing itself on the anger that began to build up within him.

He felt another panic attack occurring when his lungs seemed to incapable of producing oxygen. Clutching the bed sheets tightly in his hand Harry shut his eyes and breathed as slowly as he could, thinking about what Cedric had said to him. His soft words drowned out Dracos.

_**"The rest of the world? It doesn't exist right now."** _

Harry repeated that thought multiple times to himself. It was just him, nobody else, only him. He wasn't in the hospital wing or sick, he was flying a broomstick for the first time. He was seeing Hogwarts for the first time when he was eleven. He was learning about the magic that had remained hidden within him since his birth. Harry wasn't at Hogwarts, he was  _home._  A calmness washed over him and Harry's mind continued to think of Cedric's calm voice.

_**"Inhale."** _

Harry breathed in through his nose.

_**"Exhale."** _

Harry breathed out and the tight grip he had on the bed sheets relaxed. The gaping void in his chest remained where it was but it wasn't as painful as before.

" _I gave everything to him, I did anything I could to make him happy and for what, to get nothing in return?"_ Harry thought, feeling extremely bitter, _"He's never cared for me, he doesn't give a shit about me. I doubt he's thinking about me right now."_

Harry held his breath, his anger leaving him as a dull ache took its place. He looked blankly at his injured hand, remembering when Hermione had confronted him. She had accepted his sexuality with ease but told him how it would sometimes get hard along the way, especially when people would begin to find out about his secret. She failed to tell him though that getting his heart broken by someone he fancied would be far worse than any rumor or insult. Feeling his eyes getting watery again at the thought of Draco, Harry forced them closed and shoved his face into the pillow trying to sleep.

_Why was I born this way?_

* * *

"Harry, how're you feeling?"

Harry stared emotionlessly at the plate of food before him, the sound of gossip and laughter ringing off the walls of the Great hall. The smell of different types of delicious foods mixing in with each other into one wonderful aroma. It was a smell Harry loved but as of right now, it made him want to throw up. He and Ron had been released from the hospital wing earlier that morning. Pomfrey warned Harry that he needed to take better care of himself and didn't want to see him like that ever again. Reluctantly he agreed to avoid her wrath but Harry's depression was hitting him hard. Ron had to practically drag him to breakfast because he didn't want to do anything besides go back to his room and be alone to sulk.

Harry didn't want to be here, at breakfast with his friends in the Great Hall. For the first time, he didn't even want to be in Hogwarts, his home, and wanted to leave. It had taken a lot of encouragement from Hermione and Ron to get him to even enter the Great Hall. The only way he went in was when Ron claimed it was early and not many students were there yet, subtly hinting that Harry's 'ex' would most likely not be there.

Harry was absolutely terrified of seeing Draco but at the same time was desperate to seek him out, to try and fix everything that had happened. But so far he hadn't seen him. He had glanced at Slytherin's table out of habit when his usual gang entered but didn't see him at his usual spot. It made him feel relieved and disappointed. He also wondered why he would even be absent. It was unlike him to be this late and Harry's anxiety was worsening the longer the blonde's spot remained empty.

"Harry? Are you listening?"

Harry flinched when Hermione touched his hand gently and he was brought to his senses, not realizing that he hadn't answered the previous question. He looked up at his friend Hermione sullenly, who was waiting patiently for him to respond as Ron scarfed down strips of bacon, and Harry forced a weak smile before slipping his hand away. Her touch used to be comforting but right now it was scorching.

"I'm okay I guess. I'm just a little tired still.."

_It hurts._

"I'm sorry again for last night, for worrying you."

_Make it stop._

Hermione looked him up and down slowly with an unbelieving look, turning to Ron who glanced back at her before he silently went back to eating, casting a nervous glance at Harry. Shaking her head slightly at his lack of persistence, she turned back to him and mouthed to him slowly.

" _Are you thinking of Malfoy?_ "

Harry looked away before her lips could form his name, his stomach churning as it did backflips. He knew he couldn't lie to her, it was Hermione. She could read him easily and his reaction to her question already confirmed her suspicions anyway. Fiddling with his fork for a moment, he looked up at her and nodded slightly. She looked at him with sympathetic eyes and mouthed to him again.

" _We'll talk later._ "

Harry nodded again, not wanting to argue about the matter any further. He quietly turned his gaze away from his friends, prodding at the scrambled eggs and sausage on his plate. His stomach was still doing flip flops but he forced himself to eat his food even though he wanted to throw up after every mouthful. Besides, his friends were watching him carefully to make sure he ate, they'd force feed him if they had to and he knew it.

Despite his obvious misery, Harry was at least content that it was Saturday and he didn't have to worry about going to classes or having to deal with Draco until the following Monday _._ Sighing under his breath, Harry took another bite of the delicious but bland food and allowed himself to be lost in his thoughts, trying to remember the strange dreams he had after he and Draco had.. Harry felt a chill crawl up his spine and he squeezed his hand before the memory could engulf him.

He took a bite of buttered toast that had gone cold and forced himself to focus on trying to remember exactly what he had heard but it was difficult. He couldn't remember anything and had nothing to go off on. Harry silently began to wonder what it meant. To have suddenly experienced some sort of flashback randomly. He had his moments of Déjà vu and of course when he and Voldemort's thoughts clashed from time to time but this was completely different. He couldn't think of anything that may have triggered the flashback, it was only Harry and Draco but he knew for certain the voice didn't belong to the blonde _._ He knew what he sounded like, like for example when he was scratching down his back as he threw his head back and moaned-

Harry stiffened and shoved the dirty thought away. The last thing he wanted to think about was that but he could feel an uncomfortableness in his pants already forming. Harry set down his fork in frustration and took a drink of his juice. Damn these hormones of his, showing up at the worst possible time. He glanced over the Slytherin table again and when he caught sight of white-blonde hair, he swallowed his juice too quickly and nearly choked causing him to have a coughing fit.

"You alright mate?" Ron asked, glancing over his shoulder to see what Harry was looking at.

"Agh-Yes, I'm fine," Harry quickly said as he tried to get Ron to turn around, feeling his cheeks getting warm, "I just took too big of a drink."

"..Alright well, take it easy. We still have loads of time before breakfast finishes you know, no need to rush. The last thing we need is for you to choke on pumpkin juice." Ron said casually with a shrug. He helped himself to some more food while Hermione peeked over her shoulder. Harry knew that she knew who he had seen from the murderous look in her eyes and the angry huff she let out before reading the book she had brought. She flicked her brown eyes in his direction but he was quick to avoid her gaze.

When she went back to reading, Harry tried to casually look towards the Slytherin table without it being obvious but it was hard to when Draco looked  _perfectly fine._  He seemed to be sneering gleefully with Crabbe and Goyle, surprisingly Blaise wasn't latched to his side. His eyes were shining brightly as he laughed and spoke while Harry felt as if he gotten stabbed in the heart. He felt sick again and as much as it pained him to look at the beautiful blonde, he couldn't look away from him. He was so intoxicating to look at, every facial expression was beautiful to Harry. It made him hunger for more, especially when he saw the smooth lips he had engulfed the night before curl up into a smile. He continued to stare for a moment or two when Hermione shifted suddenly, purposely blocking his view and preventing him from looking at Draco any longer. He had been caught.

She gave him a stern look that clearly said: " _Stop it."_

Harry huffed in irritation and looked away from her gaze again but he felt her eyes burning into him. It was suddenly like he was five again and Aunt Petunia was watching his every move to make sure he didn't make a mess. He hated being watched but said nothing about it. He fiddled with his food some more and continued to eat. It hurt to swallow now, the lump in his throat was forming again and it wasn't long before Harry's vision started to blur. The void was swallowing him again.

He couldn't do this.

"Harry? Where are you going?" Ron asked said when he stood. "Are you alright?"

"No," Harry answered honestly, his voice strained, "I just-being here in the same room-.." He sighed, "It's too much for me. I can't do it. I'm sorry, this is was way too soon. I need some fresh air."

Immediately Ron and Hermione started to stand but Harry shook his head quickly. People were starting to stare, the last thing he wanted was to be the center of attention right now.

"No, it's fine. I need time alone to clear my head.."

"I don't really want to leave you alone right now," Hermione said cautiously her stern look turning soft and sympathetic, "We want to go with you.. Please."

"No," Harry sighed out, "I just-I just need some time to process everything that's happened.." He smiled reassuringly when they looked at him worriedly, "I'll be fine, I'll be back soon. We'll meet at the library for homework in an hour?" He suggested, hoping they'd grant him freedom.

"...I suppose." Hermione murmured, the hurt becoming more evident as she lowered herself back into her seat.

"Yeah, I guess that's alright.." Ron said with a defeated shrug as he settled back down next to Hermione, "We're here.. Don't forget that."

"I won't."

Saying nothing further, Harry took his leave, trying to ignore his friends' worried faces and the guilt he felt for abandoning them. He glanced at Slytherin table again and wasn't surprised when Draco wasn't looking his way this time. Harry made himself look away, his heart beating rapidly and face turning warm. He tried to hide himself by lowering his head until his bangs shielded his eyes.

Pushing open the doors, he kept his eyes turned to the floor and he allowed his feet to lead him, not really caring where it was he was going. Anywhere was better than being in there. He cursed to himself silently, feeling weak and foolish for running away. It wasn't like him at all to run from his problems, he didn't like the person he was turning into. Harry also hated how he reacted to Draco, it seemed he had so much control over him and he couldn't do anything about it. He felt like a puppet being forced to do things he didn't want.

" _I fucking hate this,"_ Harry thought angrily, _"I hate this so much._ "

Harry started getting emotional again and he blinked rapidly to hold the tears back. He didn't want to cry again, it could trigger another attack. Inhaling deeply, he breathed out slowly to calm himself down, shutting his eyes for a moment. He grumbled unrecognizable words under his breath and continued his fast pace but to his surprise, a strong hand gripped his loose robes tightly, stopping him and pulling him back.

Harry jumped and turned his head quickly to see who had grabbed him, a small part of him hoping it was Draco. But much to his dismay it was Angelina who didn't look pleased in the slightest. Great, now Angelina was going to tell him off.

"Oh.." Harry said, trying to hide his disappointment, "Hey Angelina-"

"What this rumor that you've busted your hand about?" She asked getting straight to the point. She crossed her arms over her chest and Harry was quick to tuck his hand in his pocket before she could examine it. "What happened?"

"Erm-Well, I-I," Harry stuttered, trying to think of a good excuse, "I was out at the pitch with the snitch and-"

"I gave you the snitch to practice with," She said sternly, shoving her face close enough to his that he could smell her sweet perfume, "Now you've got a busted hand and our first game is only a few weeks away! I expected this sort of thing from Ron, maybe even from Fred and George, but not from you! What the hell were you thinking?!"

Before Harry could come up with an excuse, a strong hand fell upon his shoulder. He looked up, surprised to see Cedric hovering over him. When did he get there? He hadn't even heard him approach.

"Now now Angelina, there's no need to yell at Harry in the middle of the hall," Cedric said calmly with a smile that made her blush. "The poor bloke broke his hand trying to meet up to your expectations. Can't you cut him some slack?"

Angelina's mouth opened, ready to shout again but she closed it. With a huff and an agitated glance at Harry, she gave a weak shrug.

"I guess you're right about that," She mumbled before getting loud again, "But if we lose because-"

"Harry will be great, I'm sure, he always has been hasn't he?" Cedric said with a wave of his hand, "Wood would be proud of how well you've been managing the team with him gone."

"I appreciate that," Angelina replied, her blush turning a darker shade of red, "But-"

"I only speak the truth," Cedric said, pushing Harry in front of him, "If you'll excuse us I'm escorting Harry to the hospital wing so Pomfrey can check his hand. See you in class!"

He waved to Angelina who stayed where she was, a scowl forming across her face. Harry said nothing but followed his lead, anything to get away from her wrath. Even though he wasn't in the mood for being touched it was comforting the way Cedric had an arm loosely wrapped around his shoulder. Plus, Harry sniffed, he smelled really good too. Like vanilla. A better smell than whatever flowery perfume Angelina was using.

"Thanks," Harry said when they were out of her sight, "I thought she was going to break my other hand."

"No worries," Cedric said, "She's been on edge since she's trying to uphold Wood's reputation. She's been really hard on Fred and George too."

"She was right though, about my hand," he said with a sigh looking at his hand. "I hope this doesn't mess things up for our match."

"You won't, Cho is intimidated by you and you're skills. You'll do just fine," he said with a shrug, not seeming to be affected at the mention of his ex-girlfriend. He gave Harry's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before moving his hand away entirely. "So I saw you take off during breakfast. You ok?"

"Not in the slightest," Harry sighed, staring at the ground. "Dra-..Malfoy. Seeing him, it just-it hurts. It really hurts."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he said shaking his head, "Definitely no."

His throat was tightening up just at the mention of Draco, if he wasn't able to talk about it with Hermione and Ron he definitely wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone else, no matter how much he trusted Cedric.

"How about a trip to Hogsmeade then?" Cedric asked politely, "It'll take your mind off things for a while and I hear there's a new flavor of butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks."

Harry pondered the idea for a moment. Would he rather lay in bed and sulk about his ex-lover for the rest of the day or go out and relieve his stress by catching up with an old friend?

"Sure, I guess," he shrugged, "I need some fresh air anyway."

"It's a date then!" Cedric said happily. He quickly spoke again when Harry looked at him blankly and laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, "Sorry I was just kidding. That was a failed attempt of me trying to cheer you up. Anyway, let's go then!"

Harry, not really in a joking mood, said nothing in return but gave him a nod, following after him. He brushed off his words as nothing more than playful banter. After all, from what he knew Cedric was as straight as an arrow. He was just being friendly.

Right?


	6. Scarves and Hexes

The Three Broomsticks was packed with people when Harry and Cedric arrived. Chatter and laughter were ringing off the walls, making the room noisier than it’s usual quiet self. Nevertheless, it was still a comfortable relaxed atmosphere and Harry felt content being there despite his sour mood. He did his best to ignore the stares and looks he was receiving, trying to make himself seem small and insignificant. He did so by partially hiding himself behind Cedric’s taller frame.

“You alright?” Cedric asked, peering down at him.

“Yes, sorry,” Harry apologized quickly, “I just hate when people stare at me.”

“Do you want to leave?”

“No, I’m used to it. I’ll be fine.”

“Alright. There’s a spot near there,” Cedric said nudging his head towards the corner, “You get settled in, I’m going to talk to Madam Rosmerta.”

Harry gave him a nod and started off in the direction he pointed at. Conversations died down briefly as he passed and he felt the eyes of dozens burning into his back. Why did people have to stare so much? Didn’t they realize how annoying it was?

Sliding silently into an empty booth, Harry let out a sigh and leaned back in the cushioned seat. He felt tired and started to wonder why he hadn’t declined Cedric’s offer to hang out. Maybe it was because he didn't know him that well and would've felt worse than normal for declining his kindness? He didn’t know but it made him uneasy and uncomfortable. It was strange he could easily run from Hermione and Ron, his two best friends, but hesitated when it came to him. He didn't really know what to think of it.

Not wanting to over-think about it Harry pushed the thought away and instead waited patiently for Cedric to come back. He drummed his fingers along the table, feeling bored as he waited. A glance at the line in front of Madam Rosmerta’s counter told him he could be sitting there a while but he didn’t mind, he could use the alone time to think about the conversation he wanted to have with Cedric, about his sudden disappearance after their encounter with Voldemort a few months before.

Thinking about it now, Harry still didn't know how they had survived that, or more so how Cedric had come out alive. Cedric had reacted so quickly and deflected Wormtail's killing curse but was immediately encased into a body bind afterward, stuck where the two had landed. If Harry and Voldemort's wands hadn't connected and he hadn't grabbed Cedric's immobilized body, neither of them would probably be there right now. Though he recovered from the experience just fine, he hadn’t been sure about Cedric since he just took off without warning.

The table suddenly shifted and Harry jumped.

“Sorry,” Cedric apologized as he settled into the seat next to him, “Rosmerta was talking my ear off.”

"Why are you helping me so much?"

The question escaped from Harry’s mouth before he could stop it. He bit his lip, rapidly trying to think of the right words to follow up with, "I mean we haven't talked much since-well, you know," he shrugged before continuing, "I just don't really understand why you're going so far out of your way for me. You're in your last year at Hogwarts, you should be enjoying it, not babysitting someone who has mental breakdowns for getting involved in something they knew wouldn't survive." Harry's voice had become shaky at that last part thinking of Draco.

Cedric looked at him for a few seconds and he tilted his head slightly to the side, raising an eyebrow.

"Just because we haven't talked since then doesn't make us not friends does it? Even if we never really got close to each other, I still care about you. I could've died in that maze and that graveyard but thanks to you, I'm still here, breathing and living. I owe you everything for that,” He paused before continuing, “And I'm not 'babysitting' you Harry, I'm here because I want to be and I want to be there for you in your time of need like you were for me back then. I'm more than happy to help you."

Harry was surprised at the response and went quiet. He felt a little ashamed of himself for being so doubtful in Cedric's intentions and didn't feel like he deserved his kindness. But even still, he felt that uncomfortableness between them. It was making his stomach feel unsettled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off that crude," he apologized quietly, glancing up at the brunette, "It's just..hard."

"Not to worry, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet. It's not like I'm expecting you to be perfectly ok. Besides," Cedric smiled sadly, looking away as the silence lingered between them for a moment. "I know what this is like. I've been there and I understand."

Harry opened his mouth to ask what he meant but was cut off when two large mugs of butterbeer were set down on the table. Madam Rosmerta smiled at him and set down a platter of food too. It was full of eggs and bacon with different fruits stacked up on the side.

“Nice to see you again Harry,” she said giving him a wrinkled smile, “Enjoy your food, let me know what you think of the new butterbeer!”

The two said a quick thank you as she walked off to help the next table. Cedric pushed the platter in front of Harry but not before taking a strawberry from the bunch.

“Eat,” he said, though it sounded more like a demand, “I saw that you didn’t have much for breakfast and even though you might not feel like you can eat you need to keep your energy up.”

“You and Hermione are so alike it’s unsettling,” Harry joked, his stomach growling at the smell of the food. Instead of taking anything from the plate, he took a drink of the butterbeer instead. The new flavor was much sweeter and tangy than the original but in a good way. Licking his lips, Harry drank some more of it eagerly. It was addicting.

“Thirsty?” Cedric joked when he finished half the mug in mere minutes, he looked amused.

“Apparently,” Harry replied, wiping his mouth. He saw his drink was still full. “Aren’t you going to try it?”

“I’m honestly not a very big fan of butterbeer but Rosmerta guilt me into getting it.”

“Why don’t you like it?”

“If I tell you why you have to swear you won’t tell anyone,” Cedric said, “Especially my father.”

“I don’t think this is the place to be telling secrets,” Harry replied looking around the room as if someone were already listening.

“Good point, that’s why I casted a silencing spell around us so no one can eavesdrop.”

“What? When did you do that?”

“While you were busy with your butterbeer,” Cedric confessed, smiling sheepishly, “So it’s fine if I tell you long as you swear not to tell another soul.”

“You have my word,” he replied, feeling more relaxed knowing that their conversation would go unheard, “What did you do?”

“When I was in fifth year a muggle-born friend of mine snuck a bottle of alcohol into Hogwarts-” Harry’s mouth parted slightly in shock “-we decided to drink it late one night, to celebrate my achievement of getting prefect and well,” Cedric smiled awkwardly and shrugged, “Let’s just say a pitcher of stolen butterbeer isn’t a good way to sober up quickly and the house elves had a big mess to clean up in the kitchen because of us.”

“Was Dumbledore furious?” Harry said chuckling lightly at the idea of Cedric stumbling around drunk. He couldn’t imagine an idolized student like him getting wasted, it was outrageous.

“He never found out, we took off before anyone noticed us,” he laughed, his eyes twinkling, “They did add additional locks to the kitchens though because of that. So anytime I’m around butterbeer I always get reminded of that night and suddenly feel nauseous.”

“That’s very unlucky, considering butterbeer is one of the best drinks in existence.”

Cedric laughed which made Harry smile. He had forgotten what it was like to spend time with friends and he hadn’t realized how much he had missed it. Hermione had been right about him missing out, as she always was. He’d have to invite her and Ron to Hogsmeade once he felt more up for it. Being with Draco had been taking up so much of his time, he hadn’t realized how little effort he was putting into his friendships. A frown was quick to replace his smile the moment he thought of the blonde.

“What’s wrong?” Cedric asked when he saw the change of mood.

“Nothing, nothing,” Harry said waving his hand. He fiddled with his drink. “Just thinking of.. You know. Him.”

“Want to talk about what happened between the two of you?”

“Well...” Harry hesitated, clutching the butterbeer tighter. The urge to answer Cedric’s question was strong but yet he found himself still biting his tongue, refusing to speak. He took a sip of butterbeer, the sweet drink somehow making him feel more confident. Letting out a deep sigh and he sunk into his seat, preparing himself for the story he was about to tell. “It all started about a month ago..”

Once Harry started telling the story about Draco, he couldn’t stop. He told him everything that had happened between the two of them, from Draco cornering him in the bathroom to their argument in the locker rooms. He told him how he had come to him about the offer and their first kiss. Sneaking around to see each other, how none of Harry's friends knew aside from Hermione who had observed him for weeks before bringing it up to him and Ron, who remained oblivious to who he had actually been seeing. His shoulders felt less weight than before when he got it all out, but talking about Draco was saddening him so by the end his heart was aching and his throat was becoming constricted again. Cedric nodded along as he spoke and said nothing, letting Harry express himself freely with no judgment.

"That pretty much sums everything up, and well.." he said as he finished the tale. Harry noticed his hands were trembling and he clenched them tightly.

"How did Malfoy convince you in the first place? It's clear that you two despised each other ever since you first met, what exactly changed?" Cedric asked curiously, folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't know," Harry shrugged, "I just felt there was just something.. Different."

Harry chose not to elaborate on that, it still hurt. The reason he had gone with him was because of the feeling he had given him was something familiar, comforting even. He had been struggling to come to terms with the possibility of being bisexual or gay halfway through the previous year. He had been gaining the courage to make a move on Andrew, but then Draco came into the picture and when he had come to him, it was like everything had become clear. Harry suddenly knew exactly what he wanted. It was like he had discovered a lost piece of him and found it in Draco. Being with him made Harry feel whole. Every time they met up, Harry felt that feeling of completion.

"What do you mean different?" Cedric asked again, tilting his head in confusion. There was a glint in his eyes that made Harry turn away, shuffling uncomfortably. It wasn't hard to tell that Cedric was struggling to believe him but Harry wouldn't allow himself to open up any further, it was too soon and he’d already said so much. He pushed his butterbeer away from him, losing interest in the drink.

"Yeah, I don't know how to explain it really. It was just a different experience with him than anyone else I had been with so I guess that's why I got so wrapped up in it." Harry shrugged fiddling with his bandages.

"Well.. This is quite a situation you've gotten yourself into Harry."

"So I've been told," Harry replied, shrugging again. "I’d be lying if I said I didn't enjoy what I was doing with him though, I didn't care what others thought and I still don't."

Harry had enjoyed it, touching him, feeling him, and seeing him in ways others hadn't, it had been intoxicating and he never got enough of it. No matter what happened or how he felt, Harry knew deep down that he wouldn't hesitate to go back to him if Draco were to ask for him again. He both loved and hated the hold he had on him, it was maddening to feel this way.

"If you didn't care then why didn't you tell your best friends?" Cedric asked, confusion clouding his eyes. Harry laughed at this.

"It's damn near impossible to hide something from Hermione first off, she's so observant naturally and I can't control my emotions all too well. Plus we've known each other for so long, it didn't take long for her to piece everything together. She didn't come forward at first though, I think she wanted to be absolutely sure before she asked.." Harry explained, resting his head on his hand before he continued, "And as for Ron, well, he's my best mate.. He does know I've been seeing someone but he doesn't know _who._ I guess I do care about what he thinks because, well, because he and Malfoy haven’t seen eye to eye ever since they met. I guess I'm a little terrified to tell him, I just don't want to lose my best friend over the fact that I fell for someone he despises.."

"I don't really know your friends as well as you do Harry, but if Hermione is able to accept you for what you chose, I think Ron would do the same," Cedric explained while Harry tried not to roll his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

"I'm serious, he most likely will need some time to come to terms with it. He definitely won't like it at first but I doubt he would abandon your friendship all-together,” Cedric leaned back, ”Besides, isn't his older brother Charlie gay? If I remember right, I think he dated a boy in Ravenclaw before he took off to Romania.."

"Is he? He did?" Harry asked, his eyes widening at this new information. Ron had never mentioned that to him and he never really knew too much about Charlie since he was rarely around.

"I'm quite sure, but I was only eleven or twelve when I met him. Anyway, my point is, I don't think Ron would let your sexual preference come between the two of you."

He reached out and clasped a hand on Harry's shoulder. There was that uncomfortable feeling again, and Harry stiffened a little at the seemingly kind gesture. Cedric didn't notice and he gave his shoulder a light squeeze.

"At least consider it all right? He deserves to know. One thing I have noticed is he tends to get extremely hurt when he's left out of things you do with Hermione.."

Harry simply nodded and he looked at the table in front of him again to take in this new information. Perhaps Cedric was right about telling Ron. He had been hiding so many things from him and it might feel good to get the weight off of his chest for once. Harry poked at his food with his fork before taking a bite. He looked at Cedric from the corner of his eye, who was staring his way but his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere at the moment. He wondered what he was thinking about, recalling what he had said earlier about understanding what Harry was going through.

"You know," Harry said when it was too quiet for his liking, “I never got to thank you.”

“For what?”

“Last night. Most people would use it as blackmail and try to get me to do their bidding,’ He paused, ‘And for also hexing Ron so he could stay the night with me. It was comforting to have him there."

"It's not my secret to tell. When you come out it should be you saying it. Not someone else." Cedric said with a shrug, shifting in the booth, "And Ron is absolutely mad for coming up with that idea. But I found it impossible to say no to him. The antlers did look good on him though."

"Yeah, you're right,” Harry nodded slightly, laughing quietly, “Also, earlier you also said that you kind of knew what I was going through... How do you?" he asked curiously, wondering if maybe something Cedric had someone else before he had met Cho.

He heard they had broken up just before the last task because Cho kept letting her jealousy get in the way of things. Apparently the amount of Cedric’s ‘fans’ had tripled during the tournament and caused a lot of strain for their relationship. The final straw was when Cho was attempting to keep Cedric from seeing his friends until he finally had enough and called things off. This was all gossip Harry had heard though and he wasn't even sure if any of it was true since he wasn’t one to get involved in those type of things. He did feel bad for him either way though since he knew how much he had liked her and to have lost her, Harry knew what _that_ felt like.

Cedric went quiet at the mention of her and Harry thought that maybe he had taken a step too far asking him that. He was about to apologize when he finally spoke up.

"Well...I know you can trust me with your secret so I know I can trust you with mine," He fidgeted with his fingers, biting his lip slightly and he spoke in a low voice despite no one being able to hear them.

"Last year, after the Triwizard tournament, I don't know why but I began developing feelings for someone, really strong feelings. And it wasn't Cho, it was..." He swallowed hard, "It was someone I hadn't expected to ever develop feelings for and even more so it was a wizard. A _boy._ "

Harry's eyes widened in surprise and he opened his mouth to say something but he quickly shut it, not wanting to interrupt him. Cedric continued on.

"I became really confused about these.. New interests. What was right and wrong, what would be accepted and not accepted, what I wanted and what I should want... I denied myself that I was interested in men but I eventually came to accept it and realized I was bisexual, “Cedric admitted, “That's why Cho was always so restricting when we were still together, she knew I was interested in someone else and kept trying to keep me from seeing whomever she thought it might be. She was trying to keep our relationship together in hopes I'd come around but I never did. I didn't want to hurt her more than I had already so I called it off between us a few weeks after."

Cedric sighed at the thought of his ex-girlfriend, and he looked at Harry, "And the wizard I was attracted to never came to know about my feelings. I was going to confess to him a few weeks ago but he's already with somebody else.." He smiled sadly, looking down at his hands, his bright brown eyes dulling.

Harry felt empathy wash over him as he looked at his sad expression and awkwardly gave him a pat on his back in an attempt to comfort him.  He didn't know what to say that would help as much as Cedric's words had helped him but his gesture seemed to help because Cedric gave him a weak smile.

"Thanks... So, I know how you feel and it sucks, it _really_ sucks, but I know you can get through it. I'm still trying to get over him but everything just takes a little time so don't give up just yet alright?"

Harry nodded, feeling better that he had someone to compare his problems with and although last night was one of the worst moments in his life, he was grateful that it was Cedric that found him in the Quidditch Pitch. Even if they weren't completely similar, they were still involved with the same issue. They were both in love with someone who would never love them back.

* * *

It was freezing outside when Harry and Cedric left the Three Broomsticks. The wind had become bitter and stung Harry’s exposed face as they walked back towards the castle. He cursed to himself for not bringing his scarf and tried to keep himself warm by pulling his collar up as much as he could. He shivered when an icy breeze went through him, goosebumps immediately forming on exposed skin. Grumbling quietly in grouchiness, Harry kicked up a bit of snow as they walked.

"Cold?" Cedric asked simply, sensing his irritation.

"Yes, it's just chillier than I thought it would be." Harry mumbled back, trying to keep his teeth from chattering as he stared at the snow, silently cursing it and it's existence. It was much prettier when you looked at it from inside, where it was dry and warm, how Harry liked it. It wasn't long before he felt a warm fabric touch his bare neck, causing him to flinch. He looked up at Cedric, who had taken off his own scarf and was tying it around Harry, folding it into his shirt to keep the wind from getting in. Cedric looked at him when he noticed he was staring and smiled, his breath came out as icy air as he continued to fidget with the scarf.

"Sorry, I don't want you getting sick or anything. Your friends wouldn't trust me to watch over you again if I brought you back with a cold."

Harry felt his face turn warm as Cedric fiddled with the scarf and he looked away, staying quiet until he was satisfied with how he had placed the scarf. There was that uncomfortable feeling again.

“Thanks.” Harry muttered, trying to hide his face in the scarf. It smelled like him. He sighed briefly, taking in the vanilla-like scent.

Cedric said nothing but responded with a smile and they continued their walk, silence lingering between them as they each dwelled on their own inner thoughts. Harry glanced at Cedric every so often and wondered what he was thinking about. Was he thinking about the wizard he liked? Because he knew how he felt. It would be lunch-time when they got back to the castle and Harry’s stomach was starting to jump at the thought of seeing Draco. On one side, he hoped he wouldn’t show up again but on the other, he hoped he would.

It wasn’t until they were almost to the castle that Harry remembered what he wanted to talk to Cedric about. He stopped just before they were about to enter and turned to him.

“Hey Cedric?”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you suddenly disappear?”

“What do you mean?”

“After the tournament, the graveyard, you just-” Harry hesitated, not really sure what to say, “You just..took off.”

Cedric’s expression was blank at first but then it turned sad, his eyes lowering to the ground. Harry immediately regretted asking him and was about to apologize when he spoke.

“Everything was overwhelming. The tournament, Cho, the graveyard, and you-know-who,” Cedric explained looking at him, “I was just too overwhelmed with everything and I needed to take a step back to re-evaluate my self, understand what I wanted. But I mostly needed time to get over that experience. It was horrible you know?” His face twisted into discontent, as if he’d eaten something bad. “I had nightmares for a while, I still do, and I felt depressed all the time, like a weight was in my chest. I needed the time so I took it.”

“I get it,” Harry nodded in understanding, “Sorry to bring that up. I just-I was just worried about you is all.”

"No need to worry Harry, I’m fine. Even if I’m not, I know I will be, everything will be fine in the end," Cedric said before they entered the school. “Will you be ok though?”

"Yeah, I think I'll be alright for now. It's like you said, just need some time I guess."

"Are you going to get lunch? I'll come with you if you don't feel comfortable being there."

"I don't want to be there but I'll be fine. I already missed going to the library with Ron and Hermione, they'll already be upset with me."

"Understood,” Cedric nodded, “I hope things go ok for you Harry. Talk to your friends soon. Especially Ron. Alright?"

"Yeah, I'll try to..” Harry shrugged, “Oh, and about that wizard you like?”

“What about him?”

“I think you should tell him, you never know right?"

Cedric didn't respond, he simply smiled and gave him a brief nod before he started walking off in the opposite direction. Harry turned to leave when he realized something and called out after him.

"Wait, Cedric!" he unwrapped the Hufflepuff scarf still around his neck and he held it out to him, "Your scarf... Sorry, I forgot I was wearing it."

Cedric smiled and pushed his hand politely away, "Keep it, since you seem to always forget yours." He winked at Harry and turned away again, luckily not seeing Harry's flushed face.

Harry watched him leave and he gripped the scarf tightly, looking down at it. He wrapped it loosely around his neck before entering the Great Hall. He quickly caught sight of bushy hair that identified Hermione but there was no sign of Ron anywhere. Harry guessed that Hermione had finished her work before him and left him in the library so he could finish his. Harry ignored the stares and points aimed at the scarf around his neck and promptly sat down at his usual spot. Hermione didn't acknowledge him, her grip tightening on the newspaper she was hiding behind.

"Hermione, let me explain-"

Hermione slammed the newspaper to the table before he could muster another word out, making the students around her jump at her sudden fury. Harry even flinched a little, he wasn't expecting her to be this upset.

"We waited for over an hour for you at the library and you didn't even show up!” She snapped angrily as she glared, “Do you understand how worried we got and we had to find out from Angelina that you galloped off with Cedric somewhere instead of coming to meet us like you promised?! Since when do you choose others over us?!"

Harry gave her a moment to let out any other outbursts. When she scoffed and hid behind her now crinkled newspaper, he decided to speak up.

"Look, I'm sorry," -Hermione snorted- "I was having a hard time this morning and I _was_ going to go to the library but I ran into Cedric, he wanted to talk, we got caught up and we lost track of time. Look," his voice lowered down to a whisper, "He's experienced something similar and he was able to have some insight. I'm really sorry to have scared you guys and for not showing up. Please understand though, it was just too hard this morning but I feel better now.."

Hermione didn't say anything, but she lowered the newspaper slightly, her brown eyes still burning with anger and hurt. Harry tried to pull his best 'I'm-sorry-for-being-an-arse-please-forgive-me' look that he knew Hermione couldn't ignore. She huffed loudly, blowing her curled bangs out of her face. Her eyes softened but continued to hold their sharpness as she slowly lowered the paper to the table.

"At least give us a warning next time. Not even a note or anything.." She muttered under her breath in an annoyed tone, taking a bite of her sandwich. She motioned to the plate next to Harry's elbow, where a duplicate sandwich and several fruits and veggies sat, waiting to be eaten.

"Eat something," She demanded, pushing the plate in front of him. "If you're going to be running off everywhere you at least need the energy to be able to do so."

"Thanks.. and I'm sorry again." Harry said, squeezing her hand gently before taking a bite of the sandwich, "Where's Ron?"

"In the library still. He kept slacking off and was keeping me from my work so I set Pince on him, told her he needed help with research so he's pretty much stuck there until he's done. Why do you ask?" Hermione said as she folded her paper up.

"He's gonna be pissed that you did that,” Harry chuckled, “After me and Cedric talked-"

"What did you two talk about exactly? And also, why are you wearing what I assume is his scarf?" Her eyes flicked down to his neck, eyebrows furrowed again.

"I forgot mine and he loaned his to me so I wouldn't get sick. I'm just borrowing it." Harry lied quickly, not mentioning Cedric had given it to him, "And I told him basically the same thing I had told you when you had come around asking questions."

"Speaking of which, are you ready to talk about..you know?" Hermione asked.

Harry shook his head immediately, "Not in the slightest."

Hermione sighed, rubbing her temple. It was her way of destressing herself. She reached over and squeezed Harry's hand, giving him a small sympathetic smile.

"Let me just say this, you're way too good for _her_ anyway."

"I don't really believe that but thanks.." Harry said, giving her a weak smile. "Anyway," he continued, lowering his voice, "I was considering telling Ron about it too.."

Harry took a sip of his water, trying to avoid Hermione's gaze when her eyes snapped back up to look at him.

"Really?" She whispered out as she leaned forward, her eyes wide.

Harry swallowed the bite he took of his sandwich before he answered. "Maybe, it's only been a day and I'm not sure if I want to pull out another issue. The last thing I want is for Ron to get angry with me with everything going on.."

"Harry I told you again and again. He'll only be upset with _who_ it was. And I've been trying to get you to tell him for over a month and within a day Cedric convinces you?" She said this somewhat bitterly.

"Hermione, _please,_ I wasn't in the right state of mind then." Harry pleaded with her before she went into another rant. "I'm just trying to fix everything that's gone wrong and this is the start I've decided to go with.."

"Well," Hermione sighed, her anger mostly disappearing, "I suppose you’re right. But even still! Listen to me more often!"

She tried to swat him on the head with her newspaper but missed, hitting his shoulder instead. Harry chuckled softly before he continued eating. Although he was feeling better after talking to Cedric, he still wanted to go to his room for the rest of the day. Now that he was considering telling Ron, that was another thing he would have to worry about and it was already stressing him. How would he even start that conversation with him? Should he just come right out and say it? Should he was bisexual first and had been experimenting his interest in men and Draco had been the first and only? It had been easier with Hermione since she had basically figured everything out on her own, and all he had to do was confirm her suspicions. With Ron, he'd have to come clean about everything and explain that his 'secret girlfriend' had actually been Draco all along.

Thinking of the blonde stirred the urge to look at him across the room, if he was even there since Harry hadn't looked for him when he had first come in. Gripping his spoon tightly, Harry forced himself to look at the bowl of pudding in front of him. It was hard to keep himself from peering across the room in hopes of seeing a glimpse of Draco but he allowed himself to glance up very quickly. Hermione was blocking his view, still reading the paper. She was probably sitting there on purpose, knowing he would look. Clever.

Sighing to himself and trying not to feel disappointed, Harry continued to eat, his mind swirling around the blonde he desperately wanted to see.

 _"If only things had ended differently.."_ He gloomily thought as he played with his food, sighing again.

"I SAID I'M FINE SO FUCKING FUCK OFF!" A voice suddenly bellowed in the Great Hall, echoing off the walls. All chatter ceased to exist, replaced by the creaking noises of students turning in their seats to look over to where it had come from. Even the teachers stopped talking. Harry immediately recognized the voice and felt his skin prickle, with excitement or fear, he didn't know.

With Hermione's head turned, Harry didn't waste a second and quickly looked for blonde hair. His heart jumped when his hearing was correct and it was Draco that had screamed out loud. He was standing in front of Zabini, his face red and his chest was heaving up and down. Harry watched him throw his robes on before storming towards the door, Zabini hesitating for a second before going after him.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked, more to herself as she turned back, "What do you-Harry? Where are you going? HARRY!"

Harry didn't hear Hermione as he stood, his eyes were stuck on Draco. His instincts were practically screaming at him to stay where he was but his heart was telling him to go after the blonde. He wanted to make sure he was okay because as much as he hated it, the urge to keep Draco safe was too strong. Harry ignored the stares and walked quickly, his eyes never leaving Draco's back, while trying to keep himself from running after the two Slytherins disappeared behind the heavy door. Harry heard Hermione behind him, calling him back, but he ignored her and pushed the door open, stepping out as they shut once more.

His heart jumped when he saw Draco, he wasn't even ten feet away from him, and their eyes met. Draco looked the same as last night, his hair was slicked back, his jawline more prominent than ever and his grey eyes dark and clouded with unreadable emotions. He was so beautiful, it rendered Harry speechless for a few seconds. There were just so many things Harry wanted to say but there was only one word that managed to slip from his lips.

"Draco.."

Harry barely took a step forward, when a sudden whip of robes and a much taller and scary looking Zabini stood in his path, blocking Draco from view.

"Back off Potter." he said immediately in a voice laced with venom.

"Or else?" Harry quickly retorted in a challenging tone, his anger rising as he stood his ground.

"Or else you'll regret it scar-head."

"Well aren't you original? Thought of that all on your own, did you? I'm shocked." Harry said sarcastically, meeting his intense gaze. He could practically see Zabini’s skin ripple with anger, and felt his own fury beginning to rise. He was in his way of getting to Draco and Harry didn't like it in the slightest.

The Great Hall's doors banged open again, making Harry turn his head. Hermione had followed after him, a pissed off expression on her face.

"Harry!" She hissed, "What are you doing?!"

"Hermione, I was just-"

Harry was suddenly shoved back, and he nearly lost his footing, but Hermione managed to catch him. Zabini took another step forward, jaw clenched and nostrils flaring, his anger becoming more evident. Harry caught a glimpse of Draco, who was turned away and staring hard at the floor. He seemed to be oblivious to what was happening right beside him.

"I said _back off_ Potter _._ " he repeated loudly, gaining Harry's attention once more as he blocked Draco from view again. He whipped his wand out this time and pointed it at Harry's chest. Harry felt the lion within him growl, unafraid, and he stood straight back on his feet, Hermione trying to pull him back.

"Harry!" She whispered angrily into his ear as she struggled to keep her hold on him, "Let him go! It's not worth it!"

"When it's about him it is." Harry muttered back, causing Hermione to sigh loudly in frustration.

"Funny you say that considering certain things." Zabini started, having heard him. His grip on his wand tightened.

_"Locomotor wibbly!"_

Harry didn't get a chance to ask what he meant because a jet of orange whizzed past his ear towards Zabini, who barely dodged the stream of light as the jelly-legs curse collided with the wall instead. Hermione pulled him away, taking advantage of his distraction and Zabini regained his composure, shielding Draco once more. Harry peered over his shoulder and immediately recognized his red-haired best friend running up to Hermione and him.

"OI! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Ron shouted as he came into view, having casted the spell. Throwing his book bag aside before he threw himself in front of Harry and Hermione. It seemed he had finally finished his work and had come down from the library just in time. He and Zabini stood eye to eye, both around the same height and wands pointed at one another. Harry could almost see the sparks shooting from their dark glares as they eyed one another warily.

"Why don't you ask him?" he said, jerking his head towards Harry.

"What the hell is he talking about Harry?" Ron asked, not taking his eyes of Zabini.

"Don't tell me he hasn't told you his little secret?" he sneered, "Such a shame, I must have mistaken how well you knew your best friend."

"Sorry but I think you're mistaken." Ron said confidently although there was still doubt within his voice, "Because unlike people like _you,_ we watch out for each other."

Harry felt the color drain from his face when he saw the wicked glint in Zabini’s eyes and he realized that he knew. He knew about him and Draco, and he was using it against him. He was going to out him to Ron. He glanced at Hermione, whose eyes were filled with disbelief and fear.

"Oh really?" Zabini said, his lips curving into a smirk. "Well, that's interesting since-"

" _SILENCIO_!" Hermione shouted loud and clear.

Whatever Zabini was going to say went unheard, his lips moving but no noise coming out. This only seemed to piss him off more and he raised his wand but Ron was quicker then him.

_"Locomotor mortis!"_

Draco, who hadn't said anything this entire time suddenly leaped to his friends' aide, and yelled, _"Protego!"_ as he waved his wand. The purple spell was blocked successfully, but rebounded and shot back at the trio.

"WATCH OUT!" Ron shouted, shoving Harry and Hermione to the side.

The spell hit Ron straight in the chest and immediately his legs snapped together. He flailed frantically for a moment before falling flat on his face, a small crack ringing through the air. Hermione dove towards him, rolling him over and helping him sit up. Ron was holding his nose that was bleeding profusely into his hand. It was obvious it had broken when it had smacked against the hard floor. Harry quickly moved in front of his two friends, his arms up in surrender when Draco raised his wand to shout another curse.

"Stop! STOP! Leave them out of this!" Harry said, his legs trembling but he refused to reach for his wand. It's not like he would've been able to, he didn't have it in him to fight back against him and Draco had the upper hand here.

Draco's eyes narrowed dangerously, his lips pursed tightly together but Harry could see the hesitation. Eventually, he slowly lowered his wand. He stared at Harry for a moment, his eyes cold and emotionless, daring him to make a move. Harry licked his dry lips and decided to take up on his dare.

"What’s your issue?!" He asked, trying to indirectly ask him what was wrong.

 _"You."_ Draco snapped, grabbing onto a still mute Zabini who was trying to yell curses to no avail. He began to leave but Harry, unsatisfied with his answer, shouted again.

"What the fuck did _I_ do?!" He said angrily, offended that Draco was angry with him for no apparent reason when the angry one should be _him_ in this situation.

Draco said nothing, except give him one last glare before turning away, latched onto Zabini’s arm. Zabini also glared at him and mouthed what looked like a "Watch your back Potter." and the two Slytherin's disappeared around the corner, leaving the three Gryffindors alone in the corridor.

Harry's arms lowered to his sides, his heart throbbing as he watched them leave. It was like the Quidditch Pitch all over again, Draco leaving him behind with no explanation. His eyes started to blur as tears formed but he blinked them away quickly. Harry turned to his friends, kneeling down to their level but he couldn't look at them. He already knew Hermione had a disappointed expression on her face and Ron's confused and angry look would be full of questions waiting to be answered.

"Oi, 'Arry." Ron's muttered, his voice sounding congested since his nose still clogged with blood, "Thwat the 'ell ith going on?"

Harry sighed, looking first at Hermione who lowered her gaze and began saying the counter-curse to free Ron's bound legs. He looked at Ron, his best friend, and simply said,

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very sorry for the absence. Hope you enjoy this chapter~


	7. Reconnecting

**Chapter 7: Reconnecting**

* * *

"So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on? What was Zabini talking about?" Ron asked his voice back to normal. He held an ice pack against his still swollen nose.

The three friends were back in Gryffindor tower, sitting on the couch in front of the burning fire in the empty common room. After Harry had told him that he needed to tell him something, Hermione fixed Ron's broken nose and stopped the bleeding before the trio went back to talk in private. Hermione and Ron shared the love-seat and Harry sat on the armchair. Zabini may not of outed him but he certainly pushed things much more forward then what Harry had originally wanted. He hadn't even decided on how he was going to start so he did what he did best and just relied on his instincts.

"Well.." Harry started, fiddling with his thumbs, "First I want to ask.. Is Charlie gay?"

Harry knew it was a really odd question to ask, Ron's confused reaction confirmed that. He needed to feel more comfortable, knowing for sure whether or not Ron was ok with the idea of homosexuality, would make this somewhat easier. It was off to an awkward start but at least he had started the long needed confession. Hermione said nothing but eyed them carefully. She was likely preparing herself in case she needed to intervene.

"Yes," Ron answered slowly, his suspicions were higher than before, "Why? How did you know about that? Charlie doesn't mention it very often so you must've heard about it from someone else."

Harry breathed a little easier but his heart began to pound in his chest.

"I talked to Cedric today and-” Ron’s eyes looked down at the scarf around his neck and he quickly answered the question already forming in the redheads mind “-Yes, this is his scarf, he loaned it to me so I wouldn't get sick and that's also why I didn't show up at the library today-and he happened to mention it to me.."

"What? Why would he mention it to you?" Ron visibly stiffened as his shoulders lurched forward in a protective stance,  “My brother barely knows him-”

Hermione gave Ron’s shoulder a squeeze, silencing him.

“Ask your questions later, let him finish.” She said, nodding towards Harry. Ron sucked in his breath and nodded stiffly looking back at Harry.

"Well um..I-I, well you see, the thing is-" Harry spluttered as he became tongue-tied. He looked desperately at Hermione, who softly smiled and nodded to encourage him on. Harry took in a sharp breath.

"I'm bisexual," He squeaked out. There. He had finally said it, "Or at least I think I am. I feel attracted towards both men and women and I've sort of been, exploring my sexuality recently.. mostly with men though.."

Harry let out the breath he had been holding, his hands trembling as he waited for his best friend's reply. Ron's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open for a second into the perfect 'O' shape but he quickly closed it. He looked at Hermione, and she nodded. Ron turned back to Harry and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. He smiled crookedly.

"Merlin Harry, I don't care who you decide to be with," Ron chuckled out, "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters to me and it doesn't change anything between us. Just don't go hitting on all my brothers yeah?"

Hermione swatted Ron for that last comment but Harry didn’t mind. He was glad. He smiled, letting out a weak, shaky laugh.

“I won’t, I promise.” Harry said.

"So.. how long have you known?" Ron asked.

"Um, the beginning of this year.”

“Why’d you wait so long to say something?”

“I was scared,” Harry admitted, “I wasn’t sure at first but then I started crushing on Andrew and-”

“Andrew? The beater?” Ron eyebrows raised in surprise.

“What?” Harry felt his face burn at the thought of his old crush, “I thought he was hot.”

“He is rather attractive isn’t he?” Hermione chimed in, smiling. It vanished though when Ron gave her a strange look and she cleared her throat.

"You knew about all of this?" Ron asked her, a flash of hurt appearing in his face.

Harry cut in before he could get upset, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't really know how you would react and Hermione only knew about it before you because she figured it out all on her own. I made her promise not to say anything until I was ready and she'd been pestering me this entire last month to tell you since she said you couldn’t care less but.. I don’t know, I just held back."

"Alright, well.. What’s done is done, I guess." Ron grumbled while frowning, "But I'm not surprised she found out so quickly, she is nosey after all."

"H-Hey! I was being observant!" Hermione said in a defensive tone, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "Besides, as he said, I told him you wouldn't care and to tell you sooner but he refused to listen to me." She stated in a matter-of-fact-tone, turning the attention back to Harry.

"I wasn't in the right state of mind!" Harry said, "Besides I'm telling him now aren't I? Better late than never right?"

"I wish you would've told me earlier Harry, like when we were in the hospital wing for example, but you're right, better late then never," Ron said with a shrug. He leaned back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. "But, that doesn't answer my question entirely.. How did Zabini know before me? And what about the girl you've been obsessed with the last month and a half? Have you been with other guys or girls while you were with her?"

"Not exactly.. I'd never mess around with two people at the same time, that just seems.. wrong." Harry answered, his stomach was beginning to twist with anxiousness. "And the 'girl' I've been seeing this entire time was actually.. A guy."

"Wait.. What?" Ron leaned forward again, looking more confused than ever, "But-But didn't you say you were seeing a woman?"

Harry shook his head, "No, I never said they were a woman Ron, you and the others had just assumed and I thought it'd be better if I went along with it. I didn't want to come out so I was hiding under your assumption instead of coming forward.."

"Wow, um, alright.." Ron stuttered, obviously shocked by this. "So it's been a guy you've been seeing this entire time, that one that you've been head over heels for? And the same one where things didn't end very well last night?" Harry nodded, "I think I'm beginning to understand things better now but.. That still leaves my question about Zabini unanswered. What did he mean? And why did Hermione cast a silencing spell on him?"

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat, preparing himself because he knew Ron would figure the rest out on his own within the next few seconds. He glanced at Hermione who was chewing her bottom lip. Ron was so close that Harry nudged him over the edge.

"He was going to out me to you because he knew I was.. He knew the person I was with." Harry said, his voice turning quiet.

"He knows him? What did Malfoy-...Wait." Ron's eyes widened again as the filled with realization, "Harry.. you didn't."

Ron stood, pulling away from Hermione's hold and he peered down at Harry, who hesitantly stood up as well. Harry’s gut told him things were going to take a bad turn, and it seemed Hermione thought the same because she also stood up, standing in-between them.

"Harry, please," Ron gave him a pleading look, " _Please_ don't tell me the person you were seeing was-was Ma-” He bit his lip, unable to say the name at first, ”Was it _Malfoy_?”

"Yes,” the word came out so quietly that Harry wasn’t sure he heard him. “It was Malfoy.”

Ron screwed his eyes shut as if he were in pain and rubbed his face, groaning loudly.

"I can't fucking believe this." He muttered under his breath when his hands slipped away from his face. He looked away, staring angrily at the wall, his hands curled into fists. Hermione hesitantly reached out to him but he shrugged her off. Wounded by the rejection, she slunk her hand away. When Ron said nothing else and continued to stare at the wall, Harry spoke up.

"I didn't expect this to happen, Ron," Harry said quietly, trying to get Ron to look at him. "It just.. Happened."

"How does something like this just happen?!" Ron snapped, whirling his head to look at Harry, "After everything he's- I mean how could you even _consider_ \- WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"Wow, I don't know Ron, it's not like I was struggling for months to come to terms that I like men in the same way I like women when I thought I was straight my entire life." Harry snapped sarcastically, earning a glare from Hermione that said, 'You're-not-helping.'

"That doesn't mean jumping the first guy you see! If it had been Blaise, I would've said 'I fucking guess but fine' but Malfoy?! Him-him of all people!"

"I didn't start it! He did!" Harry argued back.

"Harry, Ronald, please-" Hermione tried to intervene to calm them down but she went overheard.

"His father was- _is_ a Death Eater! Did you ever think that he was just trying to get close to you this entire time?!"

Harry's mouth gaped open for a second, he hadn't really thought of that in all honestly but his stubbornness wouldn't allow Ron to gain the upper-hand.

"If that was the case he would've done something by now, he's had plenty of chances to hand me over to Volde-"-DON'T SAY HIS NAME!"-"-IT'S JUST A FUCKING NAME! And he's not even a Death Eater! I actually trust him!"

"First off. You. Are. INSANE." Ron said pointing at him. Harry rolled his eyes, "And secondly if he started all of this rubbish, why would you go along with something like this?!"

"Because it felt right! It felt right to be with him, maybe not in the way I wanted but it felt right to have him as mine! Even if we weren't official, he was still mine!" Harry felt his emotions overwhelming him again like this morning but he was pissed and hurt and continued to argue anyway. "He's different when it's just the two of us, and we're alone, there's more to him then what we know!"

"You mean the person who practically destroyed your life this last month?! That person is someone different?! And how could it feel right in the first place?! Are we even talking about the same person right now?!" Ron shouted, "This is _Malfoy_. The person who's taunted us our entire lives, especially Hermione, belittles us every chance he gets! Why him of all people?!"

"I don't know _why!_ I didn't ask for anything for this to happen! I-I didn't ask-"

"Didn't ask for what?!"

"TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM!" Harry screamed, his chest heaving up and down. His emotions finally spilled over, and his eyes began to water, but he kept going. "I didn't ask for it! To feel like I'm dying every time I'm without him, to think about every day all the time, to want to be around him all the time! It's only been a fucking day and I'm already a complete fucking mess without him! I know what we had was bad but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every second of it, and if he were to ask me to go back to him again I would!" Harry panted out, his body trembling.

"I'd go back in a heartbeat and I fucking hate that I would. I hate that I love him as much as I do and he-" Harry huffed, “He never felt the same way about me."

Ron went quiet and Harry sunk back into the seat, resting his face in his hands. Hermione looked at the two worriedly but she was too afraid to say anything, not wanting to cause another loud outburst.

"I gave him everything you know? I did everything he ever asked, without questioning anything once.." Harry said shakily, looking down, "And.. I don't know, it wasn't enough for him."

"Harry, I'm.. I just-I just want to know  _why._ " Ron muttered out.

Harry lifted his head but looked away from his friends, focusing instead on the random things in the common room. He simply shrugged.

"Being with him was just so many different things.." Harry weakly smiled, " It was like finding out I was a wizard for the first time, or when I had first stepped foot at Hogwarts, or when I rode a broomstick for the first time. It felt like I had lost my way but found it again, it was familiar, like being home again." He admitted, "After being confused for so long about who I was and after being with him for the first time.. Everything became clear. I knew what I wanted, and it was him." Harry shrugged again, "I really don't know how it happened.. It just did and the next thing I knew I was in love with him.. But he didn't love me back."

Harry's voice cracked as the lump in his throat grew and the waiting tears spilled over, it was too much. He blinked once and Hermione's arms were suddenly wrapped around his neck as she hugged him tightly. Harry rested his head on her shoulder, letting out a low shaky breath as he closed his eyes, trying to keep himself together. Another pair of arms wrapped around him as Ron joined the two, he awkwardly patted Harry on the back in an attempt to comfort him. He had always been the worst at comforting but Harry smiled a little as his attempt.

The three stayed there in front of the fireplace in the quiet common room as Harry cried once more over the boy he loved and lost.

* * *

 " _We have to try, don't you have hope?"_

_"I have to do this."_

Harry jolted awake, gasping loudly as he did and he sat up. Before he could comprehend what he had just heard, a quick sharp pain went through his skull, making him clutch at it as he screwed his eyes shut. He hissed loudly, pressing hard against the side of his head to lessen down the pain. After a moment, it faded away and left him with nothing but a throbbing headache and confusion when he no longer remembered what he had heard, just as the time before.

 _"I hope this doesn't continue every time I fucking sleep.."_ He thought bitterly, grabbing his glasses from his bed stand, slipping them on.

He stared around his dorm room at the empty beds for a moment, the darkened window telling him it was evening. Sighing heavily, he lay back down. After his coming out didn't go that well, Hermione sent him straight to bed to get some rest. She told him she'd start part of his homework he was meant to start at the library with her and Ron but considering the circumstances, she was willing to help. Ron said he'd wake him for dinner and bring it to him so he wouldn't have to see Draco again, which would most likely lead to another break down like in the morning. Harry hadn't argued, he was too tired too and had passed out in bed the second he hit the pillow.

Harry sighed again and pushed his bangs out of his face. He continued to lay there in bed, thinking about the weird dreams when the door creaked. He saw Ron slowly backing into their dorm room, two plates of food and a goblet floating steadily in front of him. As he came closer to Harry, he glanced over at him briefly before turning his attention back to the floating food but realizing Harry was awake, his head jerked back to him.

"Oh, you're awake.. Sorry, I didn't wake you did I?" Ron asked dumbly, setting the food down on Harry's bed stand before sitting on the edge of his bed. Harry's stomach growled at the site of food.

"No, I just woke up actually.." Harry said, the weird dream already forgotten.

"You got some rest then?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

The two fell into an awkward silence, both looking away from each other, silently wishing that the other would say something. Ron coughed loudly, trying to break the silence, "So, I brought your favorite. Steak and kidney pie. Hermione added the side of veggies and I put some treacle tarts too. Nothing special in the goblet though, just water. Hermione wouldn't let me get you anything else."

"Thanks.. for bringing me dinner.."

Ron didn't say anything except nod his head slightly as he fiddled with his fingers, and they fell into silence again.

"Look Harry-I'm sorry again." Ron said, "For reacting the way I did. It was just.. Really surprising. I didn't mean to get so heated about it and take things as far as I did. It's just-" His face crinkled slightly, "Malfoy? Really? You couldn't have settled for someone just a little better?"

"I know." Harry replied, rubbing the back of his head, "I mean I understand, had things been the other way around, I don't think I would've been any better in all honesty.. And like I said, it just happened. I don't know why but it just did. I can't give a better explanation than that."

"But you didn't just stop to think.. That it was Malfoy you were doing this with? And can I ask how this started?"

"I don't think you want to know that." Harry said nervously, his mind bringing back the memory of how they fucked just an hour after they kissed in the bathroom.

"I do actually. If you don't mind telling me."

"He just came up to me telling me he knew about my interest in men and I didn't get to get much in before he kissed me and that was it." Harry said, leaving out all the inappropriate details.

"And you fell in love with him?"

"Well no, not at first. I eventually did. And it's like I said, being with him brought this familiar feeling. I don't know how to describe it more than that, it just felt-felt like Déjà vu. Like I had experienced this before, even though I've obviously never had." Harry shrugged. "I liked it. It was comforting and I wanted more of it."

"As much as that doesn't make much sense.. I get it." Ron replied, "I'll never understand why it was him but you also can't control what and who you like so I'm alright with everything.. mostly."

"Thanks, Ron, it means a lot more than you think.." Harry said with a smile. He held out his fist, "Friends?"

Ron laughed and bumped his fist with Harry's. "Best friends, you git. Well, I just came to drop off your food. I told Hermione I'd come back down afterward, make sure you eat it all, otherwise she'll kill us both. Especially me."

Both of them laughed, and the redhead stood to take his leave. Harry watched his retreating back and before he slipped out of the doorway he called out to him.

"Hey, Ron?"

"Hm?" He grunted, turning his head back.

"Thanks again, to you and Hermione. I'm not sure what I'd do without the two of you."

Ron shrugged, smiling briefly.

"Guess you're stuck with us for life, mate."


	8. Conflicting

-Two months later-

_ Harry gasped harshly as he ran, his lungs were beginning to burn as he tried to swallow gulps of air. An immense pressure pushed back against him, making it hard to move. It was like trying to run underwater but there was none. He was in a cold corridor of some sort at Hogwarts but he couldn't find the strength to turn his head to look at his blurry surroundings. Breathing in short desperate pants, his icy breath appearing in small white puffs of air as he ran. Harry's legs were shaking badly and he was surprised they hadn't buckled yet, already at their limit. It felt they were going to collapse at any second and send him hurling to the cold stone floor. _

_   
_ _ Forcing himself to stiffly lift his head, his robes whipping behind him in silent flutters, Harry could see who he was after. A hazy cloaked figure a few meters ahead of him, that was running away from him. Why? Harry didn't know. All he knew was that he had to catch this person. What for? He also didn't know. But the urge he felt deep in his gut wouldn't allow him to stop for anything, absolutely nothing would keep him from running. Harry felt his stiff jaw involuntarily move, muffled and unrecognizable words rolled over his tongue as he spoke. He could feel the vibrations of his shouts ring off the walls and echo into his ears but he couldn't make out what he was saying. It sounded like an unknown language of garbled words. _

_ The cloaked figure showed no signs of stopping when he shouted, although they turned just slightly to glance. Harry strained to see who it was but his hazy vision prevented him from doing so before they turned back away. Having no other choice, Harry pushed himself to run. The two continued to dart behind every corner that nearly sent them skidding and crashing, the sound of their feet pounding against the concrete floor rang off the halls dimly. _

_ The figure's robe was whisking around behind them wildly and time sped up for just a brief moment, the invisible water disappearing, and Harry swiftly raised an arm. Finally, close enough, he snatched at the silky cloak and grasped on tightly, yanking it back.. _

Harry's eyes snapped open as he jolted up, nearly slamming himself against the bed's headboard, his arm automatically reaching out as it grasped nothing but air. Panting harshly, he blinked, confused, before gasping when a sharp pain went through his head. Jerking his arm back, he quickly brought both of his hands to his head in an attempt to put pressure on the pain to ease the intensity.

It had been almost two months since he and Draco had split. And ever since then, he had been having dreams that always resulted in a sharp pain shooting through his skull and a throbbing headache. They happened at least once a week, at first it had been every night and he never remembered what they consisted of. They slowly became longer and he was able to remember bit by bit now but he still wasn't used to the aftermath. And the longer he went without dreaming, the harsher the headaches were.

This one, in particular, had one hell of a punch. It quickly started its intense punishment and was soon hammering invisible fists against his brain mercilessly. Gripping his thick hair that felt damp from sweat, Harry continued to keep his eyes screwed shut. It was several minutes before it was reduced to a throbbing headache instead. With a relieved sigh, he fell back onto his bed with a quiet " _ oof,"  _ the bed creaking slightly in response to the shifting weight. Harry gripped the bridge of his nose, sighing again to himself as his head continued to throb.

He gazed around the room briefly, relieved that his racket hadn't woken anyone up, not even Dean who was the lightest sleeper of them all. Ron's soft snoring, Seamus's constant moving, and Neville's silent mumbling reached his ears. Reaching up absentmindedly, he ran a finger over the smooth scar, soon getting lost in thought as his mind wondered about the dream he just had.

It had been the same dream from the week before. The only difference this time was that he had actually grabbed a hold of the person running in front of him but he still never saw their face. It was frustrating to be having these dreams in the first place but it was even more frustrating to not know  _ why.  _ Harry knew there was an obvious connection between all the dreams but since he couldn't remember the first few he had, he was stuck with this repeated one.

Harry wondered if the dreams had to do with Draco, they started when they broke up but it wasn’t like he had a chance to talk to the blonde since their brief confrontation in front of the Great Hall because, well, because he was avoiding him. And he was doing a damn good job at doing it.

It was almost like Draco didn't even exist and was just another student in the halls. The only one delighted about it was Ron, even though he did his best to hide it. The only time Harry really saw him was in class. Harry caught glimpses of him at mealtimes and in the halls. Draco would either arrive late when he was leaving or just leaving when he arrived. 

It hurt him deeply and only made him more desperate to talk to him.

Harry didn't know what was worse. Being rejected by someone you loved or not even being acknowledged at all. Hell, Draco didn't even shoot snarky comments at Hermione and Ron anymore, not even at the times when Ron would insult him first. It was unsettling. Extremely unsettling. It was like living in a different universe in which Draco was someone that Harry would never talk to or acknowledge. But sadly, that wasn't the case and Harry missed him. He missed him badly.

Despite Draco's behavior and Hermione and Ron's objections, Harry had tried several times to reach out to him. To talk to him or even get Draco to  _ look  _ his way, but he hadn't had a chance because of Zabini. When Goyle and Crabbe had been Draco's go-to bodyguards, they were at least easily fooled and manipulated but Zabini was merciless. He had intercepted every one of Harry's attempts flawlessly. Every. Single. One.

Harry had sent a few unsigned letters to Draco but Zabini would always be waiting for them and make them vanish the second the owls dropped them. Using different owls proved useless considering Draco sat at the same spot every day since he was eleven. Using different colored letters and changing his handwriting didn't work, if Zabini was suspicious he did a thorough check with his wand that eventually made Harry's spells wear off. Hermione had refused to aid him, telling him he shouldn't be seeking for more heartbreak and Ron wasn't much help either, mostly because he was still bothered by the fact that it’d been Draco he’d been with.

Not really having any other ideas of how he could reach him, Harry had even gone as far as walking straight up to Draco in the rare times when he saw him, going for an upfront confrontation. That didn't work either since Zabini was practically super-glued to Draco's side, hexing anyone within five feet that was a potential threat to the blonde. This even included Hermione and Ron but Harry was a special case, he got no closer than fifteen feet. He didn't try an upfront approach anymore although when the stinging hex Zabini always shot his way finally got him and left half of his face swelled up for several painful hours.

That had been over two weeks ago now and despite Hermione and Ron's pleads and refusal to help, Harry wasn't going to give up. He was planning a new move and was determined to succeed. His gut was telling him that there was something missing and it was almost never wrong. Draco had kissed him back that night, even though he claimed it meant nothing he didn’t believe him. He wanted Harry just as much but something was preventing him from going any further. He would find out what it was and fix all of this. All Harry had to do was get Draco alone, maybe wandless to avoid another swollen face, and he'd take it from there.

Even though Draco had been the one to tear him apart, Harry had put himself together again and wanted to give it one last shot. There was something there between the two of them and he wouldn’t let it go that easily. As long as there was a chance, no matter how small, that Draco could be his Harry would be damned if he wouldn't fight for it.

Harry's head throbbed pulling him from his thoughts and he sighed again. Pressing his fingers against his forehead to help relieve the pain he reached out for his glasses, despite it being pitch-dark. Slipping the thick frames on he blinked a few times while waiting for his tired eyes to adjust and with great effort, he turned his aching head, looking at the clock to see the time.

Breakfast would be starting in half an hour and he could sleep in since it was the weekend but he needed to go to the library. The end of the year finals were coming up soon and Harry had to study, much to his dislike. With everything that had happened, his grades had slipped but thanks to Hermione, and even Ron, he was managing to pass and was actually doing very well. He couldn't afford to fail now after all his hard work. Christmas break was around the corner, all Harry had to do was pull through the rest of the weekend, survive a month's worth of tests crammed into two days, and he'd be free to do as he liked for almost two weeks.

There was a chill in the air that nipped at Harry and made him want to slip back underneath his warm covers but he forced himself to throw the blankets aside. Quietly, he quickly began getting dressed for the day to avoid the cold. He slipped on a t-shirt he hoped was as clean as it looked and put on a thick black sweater over it. Not bothering with jeans, it was too cold, he simply threw on a pair of black sweats that hugged his lower body snuggly and tugged on some wool socks and his shoes. Lastly, he slipped on his robes and tie.

Harry grabbed his school bag and tucked a few books under his arms and scrawled down a note telling Ron he would meet him later before slipping out of the door. Harry normally would have woken the ginger up but he wanted to get a head start on his work and he knew Ron would be pissed at being woken up early so it was better to leave him be. Plus, Harry's stomach fluttered at the thought, he was going to take a chance on his new plan.

Harry had noticed that Zabini would arrive around the same time he did for every meal and always stayed in the Great Hall until after he left. This was probably all to keep an eye on him, but Harry slowly realized a flaw in his plan. If he was busy keeping in tune with his personal schedule, it meant there was a small-time frame when Draco was alone since he usually arrived early in the mornings. Of course, Zabini would arrive a few moments later but there was still a small amount of time when the two weren't together. It was Harry’s loophole.

The thought made Harry quicken his pace, and he practically flew through the Gryffindor corridor, startling students that were sitting on the couch with books in their laps.

Ignoring the swears the Fat Lady and other portraits shouted when the door slammed louder than necessary behind him, Harry hurried down the hall. The sound of his own swift footsteps and the rustle of clothes rubbing together filled the halls as he speed-walked. Clutched in Harry's free hand was a scrap of folded parchment he always kept on him as a sort of back-up if he were to ever randomly run in Draco and was capable of giving it to him. It felt cheesy to write down his confession in a letter like this but it was his best shot.

_ "Today's the day. I can feel it."  _ Harry thought, his stomach filled with flutters again,  _ "I'm going to see him today. It's still a small chance but fuck it, I'll take any chance I can get." _

The excitement soaring through him was overbearing and he was half-running by the time he was past the moving staircases, receiving glares from the few students in his year, who were up early like him. The look on their tired, drained faces only proved how tough fifth year was. Slowing down for a moment, Harry took a quick glance at his watch to look at the time to make sure he had left early enough.

_"Three minutes past seven,_ _I'm usually leaving around this time, so-"_ he quickly calculated, _"I'll be eight minutes earlier than usual, at the most. Damn, I should've left sooner."_

Harry was too busy looking at his watch that he ran into a student that was in front of him. The surprise made him jump back in alarm, his glasses clattering to the floor along with the books tucked under his arm.

"I-I'm sorry," he spluttered as his cheeks burned from embarrassment. He quickly kneeled down to pick up his things, "I wasn't paying attention."

"In a rush this morning Harry?"

Harry looked up once his glasses were back on, and recognized the voice to be Cedric's. He awkwardly smiled, feeling his face flushed again. It was weird how often he was running into the brunette, he seemed to be everywhere he was nowadays. They were always bumping into each other. Cedric had been a good friend to him these last couple of months. They’d gotten so close that it was like their friendship had been ongoing for years.

"Yeah, a bit,” He chuckled awkwardly, “Sorry, I should’ve been paying attention."

"It's alright, here let me help you." Cedric said with a smile, bending down to help Harry pick-up his scattered books and notes. Harry hastily stuffed everything into his bag while the brunette handed him his stuff. Harry was quick to rise to his feet and was about to take off again when Cedric spoke.

"Why in such a hurry? The tower on fire or something?" Cedric joked. “I’ve only ever seen you move this quickly during a quidditch match.”

"Breakfast. Studying. You know, the normal end of the term stress." Harry grunted out, slinging his heavy bag onto his shoulders. Another quick glance at his watch told him he only had five minutes, he'd have to run if he wanted to make it. Zabini was probably already nearing the hall.

"I remember what fifth year is all about, good luck on your exams. They’re honestly not as bad as everyone makes them it be."

"Thanks, good luck to you too." Harry said quickly, going around the teen as he prepared himself to sprint "Well, I best be going then, see you. Happy Christmas to you and your dad.”

"Wait!" Cedric said, grabbing onto his robes before he could flee, "You dropped this too."

The parchment for Draco was in his hand. Harry’s stomach dropped and he took it from him swiftly, this time tucking it into his robes to avoid dropping it again.

"Thanks. Again." Harry repeated with a quick smile, relieved that he hadn't left it behind. He could only imagine what drama would stir up if it got in the wrong hands.

"Anytime. Happy Christmas." Cedric said with a wave, smiling back.

Harry wasted no more time, he only had four minutes left, and he began to run. He regretted wearing a sweater under his robes when he felt sweat gathering on his back and forehead but he didn't slow down. He wasn't going to ruin his plan because of his bad endurance and he wasn't too far away now. After two solid minutes of sprinting, Harry felt a burst of happiness when he saw the Great Hall's doors when he turned the next corner.

_ "YES!"  _ He thought, slowing down enough to tug his tie that was suffocating him,  _ "I'm going to make it!" _

Harry had barely taken another step when on the other end, coming up the dungeon stairs, was Zabini. Both boys froze where they were, Harry holding his parchment tightly in his hand and Zabini in mid-step. Neither did anything at first, both surprised to see each other. Harry saw his eyes flick down to the paper in his hand before widening in realization and Zambini quickly reached for his wand. Harry did the same and whipped his out quickly. It was just the two of them, who knew what Zabini had in mind for this time around.

“ _ Colloshoo _ !” Harry said with his wand aimed at the other boy’s feet. Zabini leaped back but wasn’t fast enough, his right foot stuck tight to the floor as if it was cemented down.

Zabini scowled loudly, his teeth bared and nearly lost his footing. A curse shot from his wand but Harry dodged it easily. He waved his wand out again before he had the chance to cast another spell.

_ "Titillando!"  _ Harry shouted.

Uncontrollable laughter filled the halls as Zabini was tickled with no mercy. He squirmed wildly around while the invisible hands of the curse roamed all over his body. Harry couldn’t stop the giggle from his mouth as he watched the funny scene unfold before him. Despite the atmosphere and Zabini still laughing, he managed to glare at Harry with tears filling up in his eyes.

“I’ll-I’ll-” he wheezed between laughs, “Get you for this,  _ P-Potter _ !”

“Try not to piss yourself first before you do! _ "  _ He said smugly before ducking behind the doors, shoving his wand back in his pocket.

The Great Hall didn't have many students inhabiting it and only a couple teachers but Harry paid no attention to them, he immediately looked towards Slytherin table. His heart skipped when he saw Draco sitting there, reading a book as he ate what looked like porridge. But what made Harry happy was that he was  _ alone. _ All alone at that long table. Taking in a sharp breath filled with confidence, Harry quickly ran a hand through his hair and fidgeted with his clothes to make himself look less disheveled before he approached the table. 

His stomach bubbled again with excitement and nervousness, his eyes glued to the blonde's thin form as he neared. Now that the moment he had been dreaming about was finally happening, he didn't know what to say his mind going blank.

" _ Then again, _ " Harry pinched the paper in his hand,  _ "This should be enough." _

Within the next second, Harry was in front of Draco, standing on the other side of the table. The blonde didn't take notice of him at first, heavily invested in his reading. After two months of zero contact, Harry savored the precious seconds he had and admired him.

His dull grey eyes were zipping past each word of whatever it was he was reading, and Harry could practically see his mind engulfing the knowledge. His lips were parted slightly, moving as he read each word while slowly raising a spoonful of goopy food to his mouth. His blonde hair wasn't slicked back with gel, giving it a wispy look. Harry's fingers twitched when he remembered how soft it was and his face was as smooth looking and as pale as he had ever seen it. Harry sighed quietly to himself, his heart melting into a puddle of admiration. He wondered how he was flawless and beautiful even in his most vulnerable moments.

The moment was short-lived although when the doors banged open loudly, making both of them jump. Harry snapped his head back to look over his shoulder and saw Zabini standing at the entrance. He was breathing hard, his face full of rage. With a quick glance, Harry tried not to laugh when he saw that he was missing his right shoe. Despite the angry look, he was impressed that Zabini would go this far to keep him away. His friendship with Draco was admirable.

Choosing to ignore him, Harry looked back at Draco, who was staring blankly at him. He looked shocked that he was there and several expressions passed through his face. He dropped the spoon back into his food and reached for his pocket, likely to grab his wand, but Harry quickly whipped out the parchment, holding it out to him.

"I know you don't want to see me or anything," Harry said in a rush, glancing at Zabini who was reaching for his wand, "But please.  _ Please.  _ Listen to what I have to say. My silence these last two months has said a lot of words but you never got to hear them, now's your chance."

Draco blinked twice and didn't respond, his body tense. He looked at the parchment as if it were a snake ready to strike before looking back at Harry, who was trying to give him the best puppy eyes he could muster. With much hesitation and to Harry’s delight, he took the wrinkled paper from him. 

Harry let out the breath he was holding and smiled. Harry turned when he saw Zabini from his peripheral vision and gripped his wand tightly but McGonagall called out to him at that moment.

“Mr. Zabini, may I ask why you only have one shoe on?” She asked, her eyebrows raised as she peered down at his feet.

“The other is stuck to the floor Professor.” He answered through clenched teeth, his eyebrows furrowing.

“How did something like that happen?”

“Ask Potter,” he snarled, glaring at him. “He’ll be able to answer that.”

“Don’t know what he’s talking about Professor,” Harry said smoothly as he shrugged, “I was just giving Dra-Malfoy back the notes he left behind in charms.”

Professor McGonagall stared at him long and hard, his glasses lowering as she looked at him. Harry did his best to look innocent under her intense gaze and keep a neutral face. She looked at him for another moment before clearing her throat.

“I see, well then,” She turned her attention back to Zabini, “I suggest you un-stick your shoe from wherever it may be Mr. Zabini. It may be close to the holidays but I still expect you to follow the uniform rules.”

Not wanting to test his luck, Harry slunk away without another word while McGonagall continued to grill Zabini. He sat in his seat, setting his bag next to him. More students began arriving and Harry tried to act as casual as possible, yanking out a random book from his bag to make it look as if he was studying in case his friends came along. He poured himself some juice and brought the cup to his dry lips, drinking the sweet liquid. 

It wasn’t long before Ron and Hermione approached the table, chattering away. Before they could block his view, Harry looked over at Slytherin table again. Zabini looked cross but what peaked Harry’s interest the most was the way Draco was smiling as if he had just heard a funny joke. Harry sighed in content, the weight upon his shoulders disappearing. His plan had worked and from the glare Zabini was giving him, he knew it too.

_ "I win this one Zabini,"  _ Harry thought as he set his cup down, opening his book to a random page with a smile.  _ "Now it's up to Draco." _

* * *

 

The weekend passed quickly for everyone, with all the studying students were scrambling to get done and last-minute Christmas shopping, time flew by. Finals were officially over, and everyone going home for the holidays would be spending the last day before Christmas eve packing for winter break. The trio was in Harry and Ron's dorm, Hermione having insisted she help him pack because of how messy he was. Ron had denied her claim of course but Harry only saw him proving her point when he carelessly dumped all his clothes into his luggage and tried, unsuccessfully, to close the lid.

"Honestly, Ronald you can't expect to fit all your clothes if you don't do it NEATLY." Hermione grimaced when she saw the mountain of clothes Ron was trying to squish into his bag. She wrinkled her nose. "And are you  _ positive  _ those are all clean?"

_ "Yes,"  _ Ron grunted, trying to jam the lid down enough to clip it, "And it  _ will  _ fit. I've stuffed this old thing with more things before and it's worked out just fine."

Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head in disapproval but she didn't press any further. Harry knew she was only remaining quiet because she wanted him to learn his lesson, which, looking at the strained bag, would come soon enough. She turned her attention to Harry, who was sitting on the window sill, lost in thought, and approached him. Harry already knew what she was going to say so he spoke up before she did.

"Yes, Hermione I'm sure I don't want to come down for the holidays. Yes, I will be fine being here by myself and yes, I will owl if anything. And no, neither of you need to stay with me." Harry recited for the umpteenth time.

He had decided months ago he would be staying at Hogwarts instead of going to the Burrow for different reasons. First, he felt awkward being around Ron and the atmosphere was still somewhat tense between them, so he figured it was best for both of them to have some space for a while. Second, he needed some time alone with just himself. Taking a break from school and his social life sounded like heaven after everything this year had put him through. And lastly, the main reason he was staying, was for Draco.

Hermione huffed out in annoyance and crossed her arms, "I'm only making sure Harry. But honestly-" Harry groaned, knowing what she was going to say, "I can't believe you're still taking a chance on Malfoy. He's the reason you were in this mess in the first place."

"It's also my fault that I'm in this mess too Hermione, and I've told you already, I'm feeling better. Plus, I swore that this was the last chance that I would give him, if he doesn't respond to my letter after everything I said, then it'll save me the trouble of wondering about the 'what if's' for the rest of my life," Harry replied, glancing out the window, "It's all up to him now."

It had been three days since he had given Draco his letter, three of the longest days of Harry's life. And tomorrow would be the moment of truth Harry had been waiting for. Tomorrow he would find out if Draco felt the same way about him and if had been hiding his feelings like Harry believed he was. It was also the last chance he was giving him. It pained him to have to let go but he had realized over the past two months that he couldn't force Draco to love him. But he at least deserved to have closure, Draco owed him that after everything.

“So,” Hermione sat down on the windowsill next to him, “Are you planning on getting him something for Christmas?”

“Draco?”

“Cedric.”

“No, I didn’t even think to get him anything,” Harry answered, confused as to why she was asking him this. “Why?”

“No reason, just wondering. You’ve just become good friends is all so I figured-” she cleared her throat and quickly turned her attention to what lay outside the window. “Anyway, are you still having those nightmares?”

"I am,” He said slowly, looking at her funny, “I had the one I told you about a few nights ago. Still no luck in the library?”

"None.” she said in a disappointed tone, looking back at him, “I've looked through the library a dozen times and I even asked Pince if she'd heard of anything of the sort but there isn't anything special about a repetition of dreams. She said it's not uncommon to forget dreams when you have them or to experience dreams over and over again." Hermione explained, "I went through-Ron don't try sitting on the luggage you'll break it for sure-I went through different divination books but there wasn't anything very useful. Most of the books said similar things, that recurring dreams are usually an event the dreamer has experienced."

"But I don't remember chasing someone down the halls or anything of the sort." Harry said, frustrated. He had high hopes Hermione would have known or found something he hadn't and was disappointed they had come up with the same results.

"I know, it has me stumped too, but the books also said that they're caused by-"

"Unresolved problems or stressful situations in the dreamer's life." Harry finished for her with a sigh, "I know, I read that line a hundred times. It just doesn't make any sense or explain why they started happening when I kissed Draco."

"That's not something I want to hear you know," Ron grumbled loud enough for them to hear, he was still trying to shove the lid closed. After one more good heave, he managed to lock the clips. He grinned triumphantly at Hermione, "See? I told you it would hold everything. And Malfoy has had you stressed since the beginning of the year Harry, it could just finally be catching up to you. Maybe the dream means that even though you tried hard to get what you wanted, but in the end, you didn't."

"Thanks, Ron, that makes me feel loads better." Harry said in a bitter tone.

"Since when did you interpret dreams?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"I sometimes pay attention to what bug-eyed-Trelawney has to say. I even read books I’ll have you know." Ron said with a shrug while Hermione snorted in disbelief, "And I didn't mean it like that Harry, I meant it could be from this past few months. It wasn't a prediction for what would happen tomorrow. What was it you wrote to him again?"

"Told him how much I missed shagging him in the-”

“Nevermind!” Ron hollered, throwing his hands up in the air while Harry laughed. In all honesty, he couldn’t remember exactly what he had written but so long as he knew the time and place where he asked Draco to meet him, he didn’t care.

"I really wish you hadn't gone after him and ignored our warnings." Hermione muttered before sighing, "But.. I know you really love him so, I hope the idiot comes to his senses by tomorrow. You'll send an owl to let us know, right?"

"He's not an idiot, he's just scared,” Harry said defensively, “And I will, the second I have an answer."

"Dunno about him not being an idiot Harry, remember that time when he-"

Ron didn't get to finish his sentence because his luggage, too strained by the clothes, snapped open and sent his clothes flying all over his bed. Harry could only laugh when he started cursing while Hermione, already prepared for the outcome, started lecturing him and telling him he needed to fold his clothes next time. Harry forgot all about tomorrow for the moment, and just enjoyed the time he had left with his two best friends.

* * *

 

In a blink of an eye, it was already the next day. Everyone was ready to head home for the holidays and the entire day students were busy packing last-minute items. The train would be leaving soon, the loud engine was slowly getting louder and the white puffs of smoke were only growing larger by the minute.

Ron and Hermione would be joining the rest of the students soon but were sticking around for Harry to say their last few farewells to each other. Most of the students were boarded on the train but a few were scattered here and there, talking to their teachers to try to get them to spill about their scores on their final exams. Hermione, of course, had been one of them but her disappointed look only showed they would have to wait until next week to receive their grades.

"Are you sure you don't want to go with us mate?"

"I'm sure Ron. I'll be alright here." Harry smiled at Ron's words, knowing it was pointless to ask him something like that, especially at such a late time but he was happy that his friend showed he cared. He could always depend on them to make him feel less left out. "Besides," He gestured to a few other students that would be staying behind as well, "It's not like I'll be by myself this year and you can always owl me whenever you get the chance and you know I'll do the same."

Ron frowned slightly at his friend's words but nodded in understanding, and he smiled in an attempt to make the mood less upsetting, "Well, alright Harry. Have a Happy Christmas. I'll be sure to send everyone's gifts and those awful sweaters mum will most likely make for the lot of us. I don't know how you can handle those itchy things."

Harry bit back a laugh when Hermione glared at him for making such a rude statement. The redhead jumped slightly at her intense gaze, definitely not wanting to anger her any further so he gave Harry a quick hug and wished him a happy holiday once more before dragging his heavy bag to the train. Hermione watched him as he went before turning back to Harry, yanking him forward. She hugged him tightly, crushing him and wild curly hair blinding him.

"Happy Christmas Harry, we'll be back before you know it." She whispered quietly, and Harry could hear the strain in her voice. He rubbed her back to comfort her before returning her hug.

"Happy Christmas. Please, Hermione, don't worry so much, I'll be fine. I promise." Harry murmured softly when they broke apart. Hermione smiled weakly, rubbing her eyes as she gave him one last, bone-crushing hug.

"I'm holding you to that, I hope you know."

"I know, I won't disappoint you."

Waving a last good-bye to his friends before they disappeared onto the train, Harry decided not to wait around to watch it descend, it would just make it sadder. Besides, he had to go to the waiting spot he had requested and see if Draco was there. Glancing once more at the train, Harry walked quickly to the place where he wanted to meet him, impatience making his body tingle.

The spot he had asked for was just around the end of the platform, where he wouldn't be seen because of how the brick walls surrounding the platform was designed. It was an arched tunnel that led down to a pathway that would take you to Hogsmeade and also where people would sometimes snog at. Harry thought it would be the perfect place since people hardly came here anyway. He silently hoped there would be a snog session happening sometime soon with him and a certain Slytherin.

Harry was disappointed when no one there, but looking at his watch it told him he was ten minutes early. Since he didn't know if Draco would stay behind with him or not, he had given him a half an hour time window from the time he asked to meet and the time the train would leave at.

_ "Plenty of time,"  _ Harry thought trying to contain himself,  _ "He has plenty of time." _

Leaning against the wall, Harry blew warm air into his hands to warm them before shoving them into his pockets. It was starting to snow again and the wind was much worse in the small space but Harry stayed put, ignoring the cold through willpower. He kept looking at each end of the tunnel, waiting for someone to walk this way before looking at his watch. He did this every thirty seconds it seemed, but he couldn't help himself. This was finally it, the moment he had been waiting for two months.

Another glance at his watch told him it had been ten minutes already but Draco was nowhere to be seen. Harry felt his hopes lower a little since he was usually right on time but he shook off the uneasy feeling in his stomach and remained optimistic.

_ "He’ll show."  _ Harry thought hopefully as he looked around. “ _ He’ll show, I know he will. _ ”

It wasn’t long before the train blew a loud whistle. It was one of the warnings meaning it was going to be leaving soon.

_ "Fifteen minutes." _

Harry bit his tongue and kept looking down at the end of the tunnels hopefully. Time, which had been going slow at first, was now speeding up and there was another whistle, the second warning. Harry sullenly looked at his watch. There were only five minutes left but still no blonde. The knot in his stomach had grown to the side of a large tumor at this point as Harry kept trying to keep his hope alive.

_ "Five minutes left, there's still some hope."  _ Harry kept telling himself as the time dwindled down. He slid off his watch and kept it in his pocket, not wanting to look at it anymore, it would only make him more anxious.

Harry felt his eyes beginning to water when the last whistle blew, meaning the train was leaving in the next minute or so. He looked one last time at the empty tunnel, and when there was no one rounding the corner, he let out a loud sigh. Screwing his eyes shut, Harry leaned his head back against the wall, feeling stupid. He had thought the odds were in his favor with the evidence he had gathered that there was a chance Draco had felt the same way about him, but apparently, he had been wrong this entire time. With a shaky sigh, Harry turned to walk back to the platform while he rubbed his eyes furiously. He wondered briefly if the carts would be there to take him back to Hogwarts when he heard a scuffle behind him.

Harry whirled around, his hopes jumping back up, but he was surprised when it wasn't Draco, but Cedric who was at the end of the tunnel. He was doubled over, breathing hard with a luggage bag in his hand. He looked up at Harry, his face pink. He smiled at him crookedly.

"Cedric?" Harry said in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

"Hey Harry," He gasped out, "I've been looking everywhere for you. I-I have to tell you something."

"Um-What-" Harry cleared his throat trying to hide his sadness, "Erm, what for?"

Cedric stood up straight and briskly walked up to Harry.

"Harry," he said in a raspy voice, "I like you."

"Wait-what?" Harry said, shaking his head, "Well, I like you too Cedric, I mean we're good friends after-"

"Not  _ that  _ kind of like Harry," Cedric said with an exasperated smile, dropping his bag, " _ This  _ kind."

He pulled Harry close to him, holding one of his hands as he laced their fingers together. His other hand ran up the dip in his back, making him flush red.

"Wha-wait-!" Harry stuttered again, alarmed by his actions, "What are you-"

Harry was cut off when Cedric dipped his head down and kissed him hard. Harry's eyes widened and he tried to squirm away but he only pressed his lips harder against him. He instantly tasted treacle tarts on his lips, making his head burst with a strange euphoric feeling. It made the rest of his body feel weak under Cedric’s touch. Before Harry knew it, he was kissing him back, his fingers fisting his robes tightly as he desperately tried to get more of that sweet taste.

As quickly as the feeling came it vanished and Harry was quick to put space between the two of them, jerking away from Cedric’s grip. Even though every fiber of his body was telling him to go to the brunette, he stayed put. What the hell was wrong with him?

"I'm sorry-I-I don't know what came over me," Harry spluttered, his face feeling warmer than before. He shook his head, trying to think clearly, "When did-I mean how-”

"Last year.” Cedric answered the question before he could ask, “I’ve liked you for so long and these past few months we’ve grown so close, and after what happened with-” he paused, "-I know you still have feelings for him but I want to be with you, Harry. I want to be more than friends."

"But, I-"

"I have to go,” He cut him off, “Please, think about it."

Cedric gave him a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his bag and hurrying to catch the train that was about to leave. Harry watched him leave, still in shock. Touching his cheek, he remained where he was trying to process everything that had just happened. Absentmindedly, he looked over his shoulder at the tunnel again. There was still no one there except for him and an empty platform. Sighing, Harry had to accept that Draco wasn't going to come. He slowly began walking back to where the carts were, his hand still on his cheek and only one thought on his mind.

_ "What the fuck?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished this chapter a bit early this month because I'm not sure how long the next will take.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Follow me on Tumblr at 23ster for sneak peeks of this story! Reviews/kudos are appreciated.


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